What is your emotional processing style?

What is your clothing style? What food do you like more, Asian, Italian or are you more traditional? Each of us shows tastes, a pattern of behavior and also personality. The same thing happens in the emotional sphere. In the way you process your emotions, individual differences are enormous, so much so that we consider ourselves unique in this.

It’s more, We could even say that each family also promotes its own forms of emotional processing.. There are homes in which containment and repression prevail, and others in which there is an absolute lack of filters and regulation of these internal states. Extremes are never good and therefore, there are more and less healthy ways to manage emotions.

The problem is that Many times we are not even aware of how we react to what we experience inside of us. It is easier for us to explain what our favorite literary genre is than to define our emotional processing style. Knowing it, knowing it, would offer us a very practical tool to face more than one complicated situation.

Identifying our emotional state can be a complex process, it is because many have spent their lives repressing or letting themselves be carried away by what they feel.

The 5 forms of emotional processing

Emotional processing defines the way in which we deal with what we feel in each moment and situation.. Thanks to this mechanism we develop a series of responses that seek adaptation and well-being. This, which in general terms seems easy to understand, is complicated to carry out.

Such craftsmanship requires, first of all, adequate literacy in matters of emotions. Something that sadly has not always been transmitted or taught to us. We talked earlier about families. Somehow, The way we react to each emotion is based on what we have seen and been taught at home.

If we have been raised in a dysfunctional, oppressive or neglected environment in this area, we will carry with us unconscious and distorted schemas about emotional processing. Let’s think that Those who are not able to process their emotional experiences are doomed to live captive to fears and intrusive thoughts.lack of impulse control and even obsessions.

Research from the University of Bern, in Switzerland, highlights the importance of this mechanism to advance more easily in any psychotherapeutic process. Now, how do we know what type of processing defines us? We analyze it.

1. Avoidance: I better put aside what I feel now

Avoidance is the behavior that reinforces many of our most pathological patterns. If there is something that scares me, I avoid it; If I feel sad, I better escape, going to party; If I feel anxious, I go shopping or have a drink of alcohol.

The fact of not wanting to make contact with the emotion felt and avoiding it, what it achieves is to make the discomfort chronic. We are not wrong if we point out that this is the most common form of emotional processing. Not thinking and not giving importance to what we feel, trying to replace that emotion with escape behaviors is very common.

2. Externalize: let the emotion explode

Who doesn’t know this mechanism? We see it in young children and their explosive tantrums. Letting yourself be carried away by the emotion you feel without putting filters or barriers always has serious consequences.. It is not unusual to see adults taking out their anger and frustrations on others.

It is also not unusual to see ourselves letting ourselves be carried away by irrational fears that completely limit our lives. This is another example of how poor emotional regulation creates conflicts between people and prevents us from achieving goals and objectives.

3. Suppression: when we swallow what hurts

Another very common form of emotional processing is suppression. In this case, What we do is internalize the emotion, repress it and act as if it were not present.. Suppression is not the same as avoidance. In this case, we do not escape sadness, fear or anguish with behaviors that generate a rush of dopamine to displace (forget) what hurts.

In suppression or internalization there is no escape behavior, we simply remain silent and move on.. An example of this is not reacting to those who make us angry and violate us. Containing emotions causes us to somatize and gradually develop depression or an anxiety disorder.

4. Egodystonic: I don’t know what to do with what I feel!

Egodystonia appears when there is some internal aspect with which we do not feel good. The sensation is usually one of disharmony. There is no balance and this makes us uncomfortable. In emotional processing it is often the case that Many people don’t know what to really do with the emotions they feel.

They know that hopelessness is there, that melancholy and sadness weigh too much. All of this is uncomfortable and desperate, but what to do with the emotion felt, how to manage it, regulate it and mitigate its presence? This confusion can cause one to look for mechanisms to mitigate it that are not always healthy or useful.

5. Positive regulation: emotional balance as a source of well-being

If we ask ourselves what is the formula to take care of our mental health, the most decisive is correct emotional processing. The ability to use and regulate what we feel in an adaptive way gives us power, a sense of control and well-being. The world, relationships and our own daily lives are full of challenges and complexities that we must know how to manage.

When we manage to put what we feel in our favor, we make better decisions, we relate more effectively and we face adversity with greater poise. We can all enhance this psychological craft.

Emotional processing is like untangling a skein full of knots. It involves going little by little, being aware of each step.

This is how you can improve your processing of emotions

No one comes into this world being skilled in emotional intelligence and an effective manager of what they feel at all times. We tend to grope, we start with trial and error and, little by little, we manage to take responsibility for our entire emotional universe. This vast palette of sensations and psychophysical states are like a chaotic skein that you have to know how to untangle.

If we want to improve our emotional processing, let’s take the following steps into account. They are very basic keys that will facilitate our journey towards psychological balance.

emotional attention

Pay attention to what you feel, get in touch with your emotions, with what your body and mind tell you.. Do not displace them, do not avoid them, their mission is to give you a message and you must listen to it. Stay open and connect with yourself.

Accept what you feel, without judging it

Your emotions are neither good nor bad, they are psychophysical states loaded with meaning that define how you feel at a specific moment. Nothing else. You are not your emotions, you are the person who contains them and, therefore, you must accept what you feel, without valuing it or criticizing yourself.. What you experience is there for a reason.

Label and analyze what these emotions want

When you give a name to those emotions you feel, you will offer them presence and the time will come to take responsibility for them. Make the effort, try to define and label what you experience to then understand what is happening.

If what I feel is anger and frustration, why is that due? What has happened to make me feel this way?

Modulate and act on what you feel

Modulating an emotion means not getting carried away by it, but listening to it, attenuating its intensity and thinking of a response. What could you do to feel better? What strategy can you carry out to solve what bothers you, hurts or worries you?

Remember not to leave for tomorrow the emotion you feel today. Emotional processing is the mechanism that will allow you to have greater control over yourself to enjoy life much more.

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