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What is true love?

Most of us have a misconception of love that involves us in unhealthy attachments. Discover what true love consists of.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

Finding true love is one of the greatest desires shared by many people. We want to find that partner who elevates us, who completes us, who gives meaning to our lives. However, that is the definition of love? Perhaps our search becomes complicated and disappointment appears in our lives because we are running after a wrong idea.

The relationship that manages to make us feel at peace, free and loved will be far from the canons that movies show us.. It will not be made up of drama and heated arguments, rather it will be based on mutual respect and admiration. The first step to enjoying true love is to understand what it is and get rid of harmful ideals.

true love doesn’t hurt

Unfortunately, we tend to associate the idea of ​​love with sacrifice and we normalize suffering in the relationship.. Songs, series and even many of the couples around us model unstable and tense romantic bonds for us. From a young age we integrate and internalize these patterns and we reach adulthood with a misconception of love.

True love does not hurt, humiliate or harm. She doesn’t judge, yell or insult, she doesn’t clip wings. Whoever really loves you magnifies you, supports you and encourages you to shine. He is your best friend and your life partner, who grows next to you: neither above nor below.

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It is evident that in an intimate and deep bond such as a couple there will be ambivalences and challenges. Nobody is perfect and disagreements will occur sooner or later. Nevertheless, True love preserves affection and respect even in the most unpleasant situation. Choose to listen, dialogue, be frank and empathetic, instead of ignoring, dismissing or blaming.

Loving will never be synonymous with resigning, settling or allowing someone to feed their ego at the expense of stealing your energy. We are all different and we have to work on different areas of our personal development. However, Those who truly love will not allow their pending tasks to destroy the self-esteem and happiness of their loved one.

True love will not project its frustrations and fears on the other. He will not act in an impulsive, harmful and selfish way, taking advantage of the unconditional love that the other professes for him. On the contrary, he will strive to improve every day, to become the most positive version of himself to share with you.

I love you, but I don’t need you

Contrary to what we usually think, It is not healthy to couple trying to make the other fill the voids and gaps in our soul.. That task corresponds solely to each of us. Relating from need and lack leads to toxic relationships in which we burden others with the responsibility of making us happy. In this way we lose all our personal power and control over our moods.

If you want to enjoy true love you have to do internal work. Start by enjoying your own company, take time and become the person you would like to share your life with. Make your life a wonderful and fulfilling place, where you feel happy to live. Love yourself so much that you don’t need anyone else’s love, only then will you be able to relate as a couple without depending.

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True love is about two complete beings coming together to share their abundance.. It will never be about two damaged and deprived people who cling to each other to escape their own pain. You deserve to be loved, but first and foremost for yourself. Take care of yourself, heal yourself and complete yourself. In this way, you will enter into a relationship with people who are equally conscious, mature, healed, complete and happy.

True love is a daily action

Thus We should not think of love as a feeling but as a conscious action. Falling in love and true love are very different states, and it is the second that can provide us with long-term happiness. However, it is a round trip: if you want to pair up with a healthy person you have to heal yourself first. This way you can build true love daily from small acts of admiration, support and respect.

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All cited sources were reviewed in depth by our team to ensure their quality, reliability, validity and validity. The bibliography in this article was considered reliable and of academic or scientific accuracy.

Blasco, C., & DEL CONCEPTO, JA (2005). Emotional dependence. in I Virtual Congress of Psychiatry February 1-March 15, 2000; Conference 6-CI-A:. Available at: http://www. psychiatry. com/congreso/mesas/mesa6/conferences/6_ci_a. htm.Illouz, E. (2009). The consumption of romantic utopia: Love and the cultural contradictions of capitalism (Vol. 3053). Katz Editors.

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