Slow life: 7 steps to slow things down and live happily

In his book published in 2004, praise of slowness, Carl Honoré explained that he realized his addiction to speed while queuing to board. Although the plane wasn’t going to leave sooner, no matter how impatient he was, he felt anxious and cursed that the boarding gate hadn’t already opened. Realizing his state, he began to ask himself questions: Why are we always so rushed? Is it possible to slow things down?

In his book, which set trends in many countries, he quoted the doctor Larry Dossey, who in 1982 already spoke of the “time sickness” to describe the irrational belief that “time is slipping away, there isn’t enough of it, and you have to pedal faster and faster to keep up with it”.

The “time sickness” was already discovered in 1982.

Four decades have passed since then, and with the burdens of the digital age, the acceleration with which we live has only increased. Under the constant bombardment that reaches us through social networks, we rush to give likes and shares, while We walk down the street like zombies without looking where we are going, running as if the world ended today.

And the question to ask ourselves is: Has this way of living made us freer, happier, or perhaps more effective? The answer is no”. As Carl Honoré warned back then: “Let’s not forget who won the race between the tortoise and the hare. As we rush through life, carrying more stuff hour after hour, we are stretched like a rubber band toward the breaking point.” He would choose to lead a “slow life”, for the slow lifeIt will only bring us benefits.

Things you can only see when you slow down

One of America’s best-selling books of late explores the benefits of a calmer, more mindful life, two qualities Korean Buddhist monk Haemin Sunim believes go together.

In Spanish it has been translated as What you only see when you stop and the first chapter has a very significant title: Why am I so busy? It opens with a quote from the author himself that concludes with a key question: “When everything around me is moving so fast, I stop and ask myself: is it my world that is frantic or is it my mind?”

This is a very relevant issue, since speed, urgency, rushes are exclusively human perceptions. The world around us is neither slow nor fast, it is neither busy nor resting; life simply flows and we are the ones who decide to run or adopt a more serene pace.

Absorbed by urgency and commitments, Haemin Sunim points out that many times we are not aware that these external mandates actually come from ourselves:

“When I look deep within to find out why I lead such a busy life, I find that, in a sense, I like living this busy. If you really wanted to rest, you could decline some invitations to give training sessions. But I accept those requests because I enjoy meeting with those who request my advice.

Therefore, that state of emergency in which we often live, many times without the pleasure of the Korean monk, we activate it ourselves.

The good news, therefore, is that we are also the ones who can flip that switch and stop the race.

Living desperately busy keeps us in permanent nervous excitement, which makes it easier for our mind to be populated with distressing thoughts of the type: Will I be able to arrive on time? Have I forgotten something important? Am I wrong about this or that? What must they think of me? What are those pangs in the heart? Will I be sick?

Faced with this maelstrom of thoughts, Haemin Sunim recommends that we stop for a moment to focus attention on the present and take a deep breath. In his own words:

“Only by stopping can we clearly observe our relationships, our thoughts, our pain. By stopping, we stop getting entangled in them. We can abstract ourselves and value them for what they really are.”

The real secret of success

During my last trip to India, where I stayed for two weeks to give conferences, I shared the stage with different speakers. One of them, a successful businessman from Bombay, He told an experience that left an impression on me.

He explained that he had been in a frenzy for some time to grow his business and that, before leaving on a trip to New York, where he would close one of the biggest contracts of his life, his mother gave him an envelope.
“What is this, mother?” she asked him.
“Don’t open it yet,” she said. It is a gift for this very important trip that you are going to do.
Intrigued, he put the envelope in his wallet and, as soon as he landed in New York, when he got off the plane he remembered it and took it out to open it. Inside it was a paper handwritten by his mother with a single word: ENOUGH.

Confused, he immediately called his mother to explain what this gift meant.
“Take it easy, son,” she said. If you don’t understand it on the way out, you’ll understand it on the way back.

Two days later, as he flew back to Bombay, he was struck by utter fatigue. And it wasn’t just physical and mental. After the excitement of the contract with which he returned home, an enormous existential weariness had taken over him.

As he took to the skies from his first-class seat, he realized that that kind of life that he liked before now overwhelmed him and even bored him.

Just then he remembered his mother’s envelope and her prediction: “If you don’t understand it on the way out, you’ll understand it on the way back.” Having the word ENOUGH before his eyes again, it took on a new meaning.

He realized that, being older and older, he did not feel like continuing on that path of haste, tensions and multitasking at all hours. He could double her wealth, even multiply it by ten, but that wouldn’t make her happy again.
Once in Bombay, he made a radical decision.

He would leave his business in other hands to live more slowly and dedicate himself to a mission that had been knocking on the doors of his conscience for a long time, although he did not want to hear it: provide quality education to the most disadvantaged classes.

And not only did he regain his composure, but by slowing down and changing priorities, she felt a youthful energy seethe within her body again.

From that serenity, he began to use his resources to train professors and teachers who would teach their classes to groups that did not have access to that education.

The businessman ended his explanation, which had us all on edge, with these words:
Now I can say that I am happy. I feel at peace with myself and I am useful to society. And I will tell you one last secret. Today, people want to be everywhere, communicate with the whole world, multiply their presence. There is an illusion that this is success, but I tell you that it is absolutely false. Success is achieved in exactly the opposite way: by closing doors.

Only if you close the door to everything that is not essential can you focus on what is really important and succeed as a human being.

Sunim mentions three steps to wholeness:

“Stop comparing yourself to others, because you will always find someone richer, smarter or more beautiful.” “Stop rushing to get something or get somewhere, because you won’t enjoy anything if you rush.” ​​”Calm your frantic mind, because when your mind is quiet, the world will seem calm and joyful.

7 steps to slow down

In addition to these shortcuts, there are seven exercises that we can do to slow down and regain serenity:

1. Question your urgencies

If you live in a state of permanent alert, start by dissecting those emergencies and question each one of them. Is it really that important? Is it for me or for someone else? Does this matter need me to run that much or can I do it in a calmer and healthier way?

This exercise is as simple as it is effective. If you feel like you’re going fast, with your heart rate going, raise your head if you’re on the street or get closer to a window if you’re in a building. Contemplate the piece of heaven that looks like someone appraising a work of art. How does it look like? How would you define its color? What sensations does it produce?

3. Give up perfection

Many times we run because we don’t want to fail in anything that is expected of us, as if we had superpowers. However, with that, what we achieve is turning our lives into a strenuous battlefield. It’s okay if you don’t get to everything, it’s okay to say: “I can’t.”

4. Practice the “sweet far niente”

Stopping machines may seem like an aberration, if you think you are very busy, but it is precisely when you are under pressure that a pause can be most productive. As Ovid said two millennia ago: “Take a breath; the field that has rested yields a more abundant harvest.

5. Avoid making decisions on the fly

The endemic rush often causes you to commit to more things than you can actually do. Before giving a yes that implies increasing the load you already have, do not rush, stop and consult doctor Tiempo first. Not answering immediately, thus facilitating reflection, is an excellent measure to put the brakes on.

The ancient Greeks already knew that there is no better way to lower revolutions. When you go out to stretch your legs, the brain secretes serotonin and your mind immediately relaxes. Disconnect your mobile for a while and focus only on each step, feeling your weight on the ground.

7. Do not steal hours of sleep

The worst business you can do is to sleep less in order to gain time for pending tasks, since in addition to endangering your health, your performance will be lower and, in the end, it doesn’t pay off. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said in the 19th century: “End your day and let it go once and for all. You did what you could.”