What is the ego?: types and how to master it

The ego has been studied by multiple people. Throughout the ages, philosophers, psychoanalysts, and spiritual teachers have offered analyzes of its nature and its impact on people’s lives.

In mystical traditions, it has been seen as the root of human suffering. In this article, we will try to unravel its nuances, examining how it affects you and how you can manage it to reveal your true essence.

The ego according to different authors

Few concepts are as complex to define as this one.. Immanuel Kant understood this dimension as an entity that included each mental representation that the person carries out.. For Sartre it was another part of consciousness. However, the most interesting and well-known definition is the one provided by psychoanalysis.

For Sigmund Freud, it is the representation of reality and reason. He is the one who controls the impulses of the “it”, and the one who tries, in some way, to satisfy the desires of the latter in a socially appropriate way.

Now, it should be said that the most popular vision associated with a negative aspect is provided by mystical and eastern traditions, such as Buddhism. According to these perspectives, it is the source of suffering.

As explained Eckhart Tolle, human beings often live excessively attached to their thoughts and needs.. Codes inherited from family and society shape a false and aligned dimension of being.

In the latter case, the self It is like an illusion, a fantasy that seeks to place itself above others. When you find yourself dominated by it, the opinion you have of yourself is distorted, the true self moves away, and getting to know yourself becomes complicated.

Types of ego

The ego manifests itself in different ways and in different contexts. Its influence covers many areas of your life, which has a considerable impact on the way you relate and live every moment. Let’s look at some of its most common types.

1. Rider

It is characterized by copy other people’s ideas to obtain some personal or professional benefit. It makes you usurp content from others’ social networks to attract attention and create a favorable image of yourself. One way to fight against it is to ensure that your creativity has greater prominence. Highlight your contributions and respect the work or ideas of others.

2. Prestigious

He seeks applause, praise, praise and recognition in everything he does. It is what drives you to seek admiration or to use emotional blackmail to obtain prestige and look good. If you want to defeat it, try to be more humble, reduce your need to be recognized, practice gratitude and value the skills of others.

3. Switch

He is the one who doesn’t let others speak. Its main drive is to make you interrupt conversations and invalidate the speaker’s experience. This type of ego does not respect, transgresses the basic rules of communication and lacks empathy.

Try to open yourself more to the experience of others, maintain respectful and empathetic silence and avoid redirecting conversations towards yourself. This is how you will overcome it.

4. Envious

He does not tolerate the triumphs and successes of other people. He wants everything for himself. It makes you minimize the achievements of others and leads you to destroy the hope and optimism of those who intend to achieve what you also want. To combat it, appreciate the victories of others, be empathetic and have more security and confidence in yourself.

5. Silent

This type of ego is quiet, seems attentive and very understanding, but is overly critical and hypocritical.. He makes you act disloyally and judge people behind his back while pretending to be his friend.

In order to get rid of it, observe your actions and behave transparently. Be honest and assertive when expressing an observation or disagreement.

6. Insatiable

It is characterized by the insatiable search to be the center of attention. In general, he tends to take control of your conversations and does not allow others to express their points of view or take a leading role.

It is important that you learn to be silent to combat it. Give up a little control, listen carefully and let others be the protagonists of the situation.

7. Know-it-all

It is the one that makes you believe that you are always right. Also, since it makes you feel like you know everything, it makes you give advice that no one has asked for or explanations on topics that you don’t master. This tendency is based on the need for self-affirmation. To counteract this, try to observe your behaviors and try to listen to others without judging or implying that you know better.

8. Deaf

Its central feature is to talk without stopping and without listening. It usually causes a lot of discomfort in others because they are not given the opportunity to say what they think.

It does not enable two-way communication or the exchange of perspectives. To overcome this, make sure you allow others to talk, limit your time presenting your ideas, listen actively, and show interest.

9. Manipulator

It appeals to deception and manipulation to obtain some benefit. It makes you lie and justify inappropriate actions. It leads you to hide your true intentions to get what you want. It is essential that you develop self-knowledge, respect for limits, assertive communication and empathy if you want to counteract it.

10. Proud

It is manifested by its competitive nature and its lack of acceptance of defeats. It leads you to arrogance, it distances you from humility, camaraderie and solidarity. Likewise, it prevents you from recognizing your mistakes and learning from them. To deal with it, practice humility, accept your mistakes, do group activities, be more open and less competitive.

What happens if the ego is not fed?

When it is not fed from the outside, you start to feel uncomfortable. You can experience all kinds of negative sensations, such as shyness, anger, sadness, fear, etc. When it stops receiving supply, it begins to react in the following ways:

Defensiveness: He becomes defensive as a survival mechanism. Their responses include: rationalizations, denials, attempts to preserve self-image, irritability, projection, minimization.Withdrawal: Sometimes, it leads you to social isolation to protect yourself from the possibility of being hurt, humiliated or destroyed. Likewise, you can avoid those situations where you stop being fed, either because you are criticized or because you don’t get the validation you crave.Incessant attention seeking: To compensate for the lack of nutrition, you may increase your urges for more attention. This occurs as a desperate preservation reaction to obtain food.Self-criticism or self-deprecation: When it stops being supplied, the self-hatred you feel towards yourself increases as an uncomfortable form of punishment that will lead you to nourish it to calm yourself. Although it may seem difficult, there are several ways to deal with self-criticism.Devaluation of others: Another reaction he has is to attack others to gain a bit of superiority to feed on. Thus, he minimizes the achievements and discredits the positive qualities of others.

According to the ego, your identity depends on what others think of you. That is why it is so important not to let it dominate your life, because if not, you will be like a leaf that moves in the wind based on what you receive from society.

How do you know if the ego dominates you?

To know if you are being dominated, You must undergo a self-analysis. To a certain extent, the self is essential for psychological balance, but when it limits you excessively it can pose a problem for your health and well-being. You can identify if it is distorting your reality through the following actions:

You don’t leave your comfort zone. Generally, you are a person who takes little risk due to fear of failure and the unknown. So you fill yourself with excuses not to change something in your life.You have false self-esteem. It implies that you see yourself saying positive things about yourself that you don’t really believe. You need to convince others of your abilities, resources, and achievements, and ask others to return those perceptions to you. This way you fill that self-esteem that deflates quickly.You seek approval from others. You feel bad when you are not reinforced or recognized. That need for constant recognition is what defines you and drives you. Here are some keys to combat the need for approval.You try to attract the attention of others. You magnify or dramatize your explanations to attract the attention of others. Additionally, you can boast about possessions, knowledge, physical appearance, etc., and give your opinion when no one has asked for it.You are always aware of the impression you are going to make on others.. This makes you more attentive to that than to the situation itself.

These are just some of the signs you can identify when this dimension dominates your mind and distorts your reality. If you feel identified with some, the ideal is to look for solutions that allow you to get out of this situation..

What happens if you let yourself be dominated?

When you live dominated by him, You think you are superior and you don’t see the truth. You only see what you want to see and do not contemplate the reality that is hidden behind illusions and appearances. Additionally, it makes you cling to things or people. It imposes an unnecessary resistance to letting go of what you want when its satisfaction is impossible.

Although competitiveness has a positive side the ego forces you to compete in an unhealthy way. This leads you to try to win arguments, obtain greater recognition and achieve achievements that place you above others.

One of the consequences of this competitiveness is that it prevents you from accepting any feedback that highlights an error or imperfection.

Letting yourself be dominated by him is giving yourself over to an excessive rejection of failure and abandonment.. Instead of welcoming these experiences as crucial events for personal growth and development, he makes you see them as direct attacks. Focusing your existence on the ego will cause you to lack initiatives out of fear.

How to master it and let your true essence come out?

The ego develops in the form of protection. Normally, you allow yourself to be dominated by him because this way you feel safer against attacks. His voice confuses you and distances you from your true self. It prevents you from feeling from the heart, from the simplicity of your emotions.

Stop focusing your gaze on the outside

It is important that you are able to see that all external acceptance needs are nothing more than illusions, fantasies he has created. You don’t need any of that to be happy, all you need is to immerse yourself in simplicity and humility.

Do not pretend to be more, nor believe that you are less, because in the end we are all equal. Your inner essence is not that complicated. Try to eliminate guilt and demands from your life.perfectionism, the need to win or be right, greed…

Practice mindfulness

The exercises of mindfulness They will help you focus your attention on the present and…