15 phrases that we often heard from our parents, but that we don’t want to repeat to our children

Of course, we cannot say that all parents are the same, but many of them only want the best for their children, even if it is sometimes hard to believe that. Some choose teaching methods so rigid that they can end up influencing their children’s future. And not always positively. We have heard so many times the phrases: “You must obey me”, “But you are a girl”, “As long as you live under my roof…”, among others. At first glance, these phrases may seem harmless, but we often only realize their true effect in adulthood. Therefore, we would like to propose a reflection with the stories below to know how far parental influence goes.

we, from awesome.club, we decided to remember some stories from our childhood that were marked in our memory. And, in addition, other internet users also helped us to form today’s collection. Follow up!

When I didn’t behave well, my mother would say, “Look, I’m going to return you to the orphanage, huh?!” or “I’ll hand you over to live with the neighbor.” One time she actually called someone and said she wanted to give me back🇧🇷 I was so scared and told her I would behave. She was satisfied and hung up the phone. I can’t get this day out of my memory. Since then, I’ve come to believe that if she didn’t behave well, she would just discard me, as if she never loved me. Partly because of this, I’ve been in several toxic relationships where I put up with abuse just for fear of losing the person I loved.

When I came home from school after getting an “8” on a test and explained that the whole class had not done well, my mother would say, “I don’t care about your classmates’ grades, you have to be the best in the class”. And then he complemented it with the classic: “And if everyone jumps off the roof, will you jump too?” Because of this, I’ve become a perfectionist and have a hard time enjoying the simple things in life.

When my mother didn’t know how to answer my “whys” anymore, she answered like this: “When you grow up, you’ll understand”. And she would also say, “When you get to my age, then we’ll talk.” It irritated me so much, and it only piqued my curiosity even more. I began to pay more attention to the older children, make friends with them and gain their trust. As a teenager, I got into bad company, started drinking and smoking🇧🇷 I wanted to grow up as quickly as possible so that they could notice me, listen to me, and value my opinion.

I liked a girl in my class in the 5th year of high school. He liked her a lot, but it wasn’t reciprocal. My mother noticed that I was a little crestfallen and asked what had happened. I did not mean. But childhood love is very fragile, so I couldn’t take it and told her everything, saying that this matter should just be between the two of us. After coming home from school one day, I entered the house and noticed that my mother was talking to her friends in the kitchen, laughing out loud.🇧🇷 I got closer and noticed that they were talking about me and my “unrequited love”. Everyone was laughing. I walked in and said, “What is this?! You promised me!” She replied, “Wow, but I didn’t know it was such a serious secret.” Since then, I never said anything to my mother again, and that changed our relationship a lot. © Molotokmark / Pikabu

If I tried to do something at home, my mother would say: “Oh, let me do it myself, you have no experience”🇧🇷 When I became a teenager, however, she loved to complain to others about how I was a dependent daughter who didn’t help with the housework and didn’t even know how to fry an egg. But how could I learn anything if she never trusted me? Even after I had my first child, she would call me and explain how to do everything, as if I were stupid and incapable of doing simple things. My son is still small, but I always try to stimulate his interest. I don’t care if he doesn’t make it the first time, the important thing is that he tries.

When I was about 8 years old, a girl in my class was very fond of me. But she only knew how to express her feelings through violence: she would drop my backpack, hit my head with the book… I could handle it. Mainly because my parents always said I couldn’t touch girls. My child’s brain understood that as: you have no right to defend yourself if some girl is hitting you🇧🇷 But one day I couldn’t take the torture and pushed her too hard. Evidently, she complained to the teacher, and I was forced to apologize in front of the entire class. At home, there was the same repercussion. Today, when some woman yells at me, or confronts me, I am totally lost. I never know how to react, and it infuriates me.

“Are you a man or a mouse?”, “What is this?! Man don’t cry!” — perhaps many boys have heard these phrases as children. I don’t think I’ve ever heard words of love from my father. I wanted him to feel sorry for me for once, or maybe just hug me. I wanted to feel that he cared for me somehow. My wife is bothered to this day because I still haven’t learned to show feelings, to respond to the love she gives me, to be sincere and visceral. And yes, I didn’t cry even watching Titanic🇧🇷 I wanted to cry, but I couldn’t.

I had a favorite toy: a fake phone. he was very special to me, for I had not only received it as a gift, but deserved it. I got this phone in a game with several kids at school. Everyone applauded me, it was magical. One day my toy was no longer in its proper place, and my mother said: “Oh, Aunt Patricia came here with her little cousin, and he liked the toy so much that I ended up leaving it with him”. I was so outraged and resentful that my parents were surprised and said, “Wow, but this is just a toy, then we buy another one. You don’t have to make all this fuss!” That was the answer I got. My daughter is only 1 year and 9 months old, but I try to teach her not to take other people’s things without asking. And I don’t lend her toys to anyone, because we have no way of knowing how much the child really attached to something. © Lozbenidze / Pikabu

My grandmother always supported me, both in my childhood and in my student years: she helped me with my subjects, gave me life advice, sent me money, although I never asked for any of that. And then, if I did something wrong, she would say, “Wow, I do so much for you, I taught you so much.” She was always embarrassed and upset by my “wrong” actions. And later, when I became an adult, I started to get annoyed with those words. That’s why I developed 2 complexes from childhood: I always try to be the best at what I do, and when something doesn’t go my way, I get extremely nervous; I rarely ask others for help, even if I really need it, just so I don’t owe anyone anything.

My parents used to tell their friends, smiling, that their daughter didn’t even know how to catch a ball properly. I was irritated by that, but I learned to react only when I was 20. What did they do to make me learn to catch a ball? Anything. Not only did they not try to encourage my interests, how they wouldn’t even let me go out on the street🇧🇷 They said I could fall and get hurt, so it was better for me to stay home and read books. I couldn’t go to the pool, to dance lessons. As I got older, control only increased, especially in the “relationships” category. Many years have passed, but the hurts of that time remain. My children laugh at me today, saying that their mother only knows how to work and read books. © Zy26 / Pikabu

My birthday was never really celebrated. Our relatives would gather at home, some friends of my parents, and then everyone would leave. They always gave me something important and useful as a gift saying, “We’re going to buy this for you, but it will be your birthday present.” They never surprised me or gave me any simple and silly gifts. My birthday was always during the holidays, so I didn’t celebrate it with my school friends either. Because of all this, I got used to not caring about this day anymore and today I prefer not to celebrate it.

As my older brother learned to ride a bike, played cops and robbers and tag, I looked enviously at the boys playing. He was always in a dress and with “perfect” braids on his head (every morning he could bear to cry while they braided them). If I wanted to play with them, my mom would pull me up right away and say, “You’re a girl!”, and she’d take me home. How upset and sad she was about it: I also wanted to play in the street and scrape my knee🇧🇷 As you might expect, at age 13 I cut my hair to ear lengths, wearing only sneakers and ripped jeans. Today I understand that this was my “protest”. I’m now pregnant with a girl and I’m certainly not going to force her to follow these outdated stereotypes.

I have a cousin, Natalia. She was 18 at the time, and I was about 9. She had the opportunity to study in Germany on an exchange program and even had a boyfriend there waiting for her. Once I heard my father say: “Look at the difference between Natália and Maria (me)! Natalia is so independent”. His words seemed so unfair to me at that moment. And, possibly because of that, today I often compare myself to other people🇧🇷 I always try to find certain qualities in others that I may not have, as well as identify what in me could cause envy in others.

My mother always told me that I was overweight: “Yes, you sure gained a few pounds. But sooner or later someone will feel sorry for you and marry you anyway.” And you know what’s worse? I was never really overweight. Okay, I wasn’t skinny, but my body was normal, with curves. But because of my mother, I grew up complex with my weight and full of insecurities….