What hides perfectionism and what consequences does it have?

In today’s society it is increasingly common to hear phrases like “Success is only achieved by seeking perfection” or “there is only one way to excel: to pursue excellence”.

But, Is it really useful to be a perfectionist? What are the benefits and sacrifices of those who seek to achieve perfection? whatSomeone can get sick simply because you like things well done?

Why perfectionism can be a problem?

perfectionism is a character trait that allows to reach very satisfactory goals and face the challenges that life brings.

But when that quality becomes a existential purposewhen someone applies it to what they do and what surrounds them, can become a great enemy of his own well-being.

A very high level of self-demand can make the person mark objectives that require titanic efforts. The admiration that arouses encourages him to continue on that path, but the desire to excel does not end there: the perfectionist need to keep raising the bar.

The problem comes when his achievements begin to taste little and the hard work does not bring him a minimum reward.

Prisoner of that dissatisfaction, the perfectionist will be stubborn to try to continue improving the best.

such situations can have physical repercussions. For example, the intransigence decreases adaptability and flexibility before the change. An individual with this profile will perhaps be more prone to suffer from muscular contractures (inflexible) or repeat tendinitis (difficulty of adaptation).

When no space is given to the mind In order to express themselves freely, the human being can look for another way of expressing himself, and in that case pathologies as diverse as migraines, high blood pressure, allergies or even some types of cancer.

What are perfectionists like?

Perfectionism is considered an obsessive trait of personality. It is observed in methodical individuals, with persistent concerns about topics of relative importance.

perfectionism can manifest at different levels and with various degrees of intensity. There will be someone who tends to express it since I was very little.

This is the case of Juan, an eight-year-old boy, about whom his mother comments that he cannot go to bed without having ordered his stories. Obviously this is not pathological, but it warns us against a rare feature and that it will be able to germinate with time.

There are those who can develop that character by life circumstances. A traumatic event or a very precise profession can add some degree of perfectionism who could be considered rather careless.

In any case, something has made it emerge that piece of iceberg lodged in the depth of its interior. In this regard it is interesting to see how education and love influence that a child receives from its parents.

When a child constantly gets applause for how well he has done an action, he knows how to keep liking us. If that approval is persisted in, that child may feel more loved and valued for what it does than for what it is, and that can condition its future.

What is the origin of perfectionism?

There is people who are proud to always do things brilliantly. But sometimes, behind that hard-won armor, fears, complexes or even needs are hidden as utopian as wanting to have everything under control.

In the face of a perfectionist trait, what will help to prescribe an adequate remedy will be discover the reason that motivates you. Why the need to do it so well?

Often the answer will be: for fear of failure. Fears, well interpreted, provide the homeopathic doctor with very valuable information to try to cure the patient.

Put order and leave nothing without prediction gives security and apparently vanishes the feeling of vulnerability. This defense system we use it many times unconsciously to deafen fears as deep as the fear of illness, accidents or death.

Other times, after that effort to want to please or be liked, low self-esteem hideswhich must be concealed with a tight control of emotions and showing a permanent infallibility that makes others and oneself believe how much one is worth.

And it is also not uncommon for someone to be a perfectionist to hide his “big secret”which should never be seen, perhaps because it has created some complex.

Perfectionism and coexistence problems

It is difficult to live without a certain level of self-demand and personal improvement.

What’s more, whoever receives the perfectionist label is probably a very honest and responsible personadmired for her degree of commitment.

But perfectionism taken to the extreme can cause a lot of problems not only to those who suffer it, but above all to those who live with him.

When someone believes that they are carrying out all their actions in a sublime way, they will soon not settle for it and will demand that their collaborators at work, or even at home, try to do everything as well as they do.

In the family sphere, it can become a nuisance to live with someone who loves that everything is impeccable, who rarely appreciates the efforts of others because you think they could have done better, or that it is unable to enjoy from your child’s birthday party because someone forgot to buy the candles for the cake.

Furthermore, in some cases, his delivery for his work He doesn’t spend much time at home and, when he is, he has priorities to think about for the next day.

How to learn to be wrong?

Achieving success in life is not possible without making mistakes. Of those who we can say have succeeded, we can also say that on more than one occasion they have failed and, above all, that they have learned from their mistakes.

But learning to fail is not easy, it is a process that requires patience and persistence. In any case, you should start by trying:

Don’t let the recurring ideas linger too long in the head Do not delay the decision makingTrust on everybody elselearn to delegate responsibilitiesReduce the degree of control about what happens around

The latter is the most difficult, especially at the beginning, because can cause concern who likes to have everything under control.

Benefits of leaving perfectionism behind

When experience shows that life goes on as well or better that before, despite not having complied with that iron marking of everyday situations, we will be able to find a more comfortable and relaxed space without our commitments having been affected by it.

If there is something that is lost who has a high degree of perfectionism, it is spontaneity. Wanting to have everything under control, in addition to being exhausting, leaves no room for an experience as healthy as acting without barriers.

Whoever has lost that source of satisfaction will have little chance of relaxing his spirit and in turn discover new challenges and horizonsinfinitely more comforting than the monotony of a day to day without error.