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What happens when we stop needing our partner?

The word need implies, in psychological language, that without that object of attachment I cannot be happy, that my entire being depends on it and that my life would cease to have meaning if that something did not exist. That’s what you really need.

Attachment can be established with anything, whether with people in the field of human relationships, or with substances, ideas, etc.

In any case confuse attachment with need and Maintaining this attitude is extremely harmful to our psychological health. Well, whatever we want in our lives today is likely to disappear tomorrow.

Nothing is permanent and thinking otherwise can cause us great suffering since what we have is not a legitimate desire. If it seems fulfilled, great, but if not, we know that we have alternatives.

Needing is thinking that if I don’t have it, my life is lost or that if I lose it, I will be miserable and unhappy.

These ideas are extremely unrealistic and the truth is that Nobody is dying to lose anything or anyone. However, before admitting this certainty, people usually go through states of anxiety and sadness. We do well by trying with all our might to obtain what we think we need or, when we have it, trying our best not to lose it.

In couple relationships it is clearly seen. Exaggerated romanticism has taught us that love involves suffering, effort, sacrifice. He has even made jealousy normalize, transmitting ideas like “if there is no jealousy there is no love,” etc.

Desiring makes you free and needing a slave

When you think you need your partner, you are not being a person who has chosen another freely, but rather based on a personal lack.. It may be that you are afraid of loneliness or that you have quite low self-esteem. Maybe you think that it is better to have someone stronger and more capable than you by your side or you simply have become attached to that person because your life is quite empty in other areas and you think that is the only thing you have left.

Whatever the reason, the point is that you are being a slave to your own mental voids. You have not decided to be with that person because it adds to your interest or makes your life more pleasant than when you were alone.. You have chosen her like someone who chooses a prosthesis or like someone who puts a patch that covers a hole.

However, when you want to be with someone, you make a choice based on your personal enjoyment and well-being. You love that person because your life with them seems amazing, because you feel very good around them, because you share interests like best friends.

With necessity, we introduce fear and desperation into our relationship, however with preference or desire, we are calm, calm and enjoying the present together. We have made a free choice, without anything behind us that tells us that we must have a partner to face thoughts like “we are failures.”“we will stay to dress saints” or any other nonsense like that.

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When you stop needing and just love

When you decide to love in freedom and finally get rid of all those heavy chains and ghosts that wrongly guided your life, you discover a new way of having a partner.. It is real, authentic love. It is not the neurotic, crazy, visceral love that they tell us in the movies, that is just fantasy and causes the relationship to not go to a successful conclusion.

When you stop needing to have a partner and even more so, a partner in particular, you discover that the feeling of jealousy no longer exists in your life. You are not jealous because you are not afraid of losing something that you only want.

It will hurt you if you lose it, it is obvious and you may have a hard time for it, but You are aware that your happiness does not depend on your partner and that life will continue to offer you opportunities. This, obviously, makes the relationship work much better than when there is jealousy and contributes to both being more faithful.

When you no longer feel needy, you stop being dependent on your partner because you no longer think that you need someone stronger and more capable than you. You can get by on your own in this world without needing anyone to pull you out of the fire and without the love of anyone in particular.

You like it and you may want someone to support you and show you signs of love and affection, but if this does not exist in your life, there will be friends, family, work, hobbies and many more elements to add to the list. They are yours, particular and individual.

Finally, when you stop needing, your life as a couple flows. Almost nothing is a big problem anymore, although it is normal for there to be small adversities.

The solution to problems is done as a team, we no longer argue to see who is right or wrong because our ego is no longer so big. for that to be worth it. We look together in the same direction and we want to end our life together, but if that is not the case, because love cannot do everything, the world will continue its course and we will be able to live a completely happy life alone or with another person.

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Dare to tell your partner today: I love you very much, but I don’t need you at all.

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