Recognizing the right time to let someone go will free you and allow you to move forward.

When a relationship has fulfilled its purpose, when there is no longer harmony, when there is suffering, it is time to let go.

Written and verified by the psychologist Elena Sanz.

The relationships we maintain, whatever type they may be, should nourish us, enrich us, and add to our lives. Presence and connection with others should be a fuel that drives us and a light that illuminates us. However, this is often not the case. When a bond has served its purpose it is time to stop going, but this is not easy.

We have learned to hold on, to tolerate, to give ourselves the skin or the years in unsustainable situations. And all because they have convinced us that letting go and changing course is a personal failure. The end of a relationship is not generally seen as a valid and healthy alternative but as a catastrophe.. And this thought often keeps us locked in a cage with the door open.

When is it time to let go?

Considering ending a relationship, a friendship, or even cutting off contact with a family member can awaken great feelings of anguish and discomfort. We may feel selfish and disloyal and, without a doubt, we will have to face the fear of the void that person will leave. However, on the contrary, sometimes it is a mature and necessary decision. How do you know that the time has come to walk away from a person?

When it hurts you

This is one of the clearest situations but not the easiest to address. When someone continually disrespects you, hurts you, or treats you with indifference you know, at least inside yourself, that you should walk away. It is a painful and frustrating circumstance because, in general, these types of ties are difficult to break. And they arise and are maintained by our own inner shortcomings.

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You have to consider that this relationship is just a patch, a reflection of those aspects that you need to work on in yourself. Doing so will undoubtedly be a process that will require time, effort and perseverance, but you should not tolerate mistreatment of any kind.

When you are not in tune

People evolve and we have no obligation to be the same person we were yesterday, a month ago or last year. What’s more, it is positive to grow personally, question ourselves and modify our perspectives. When people around you are moving in the same direction as you, it is truly gratifying to be able to share the progress.

But, sometimes, we follow different rhythms. Maybe at some point you shared opinions, visions and goals with your partner or your great friend; but today, even if you still want it, you no longer do it. Maybe one of them has changed their way of seeing life, her aspirations and desires and they no longer agree. And this is okay, it’s part of the process of growing up.

However, when this happens you will feel that their company, their presence or their conversations no longer fulfill you. You will feel that there is no longer harmony and certain arguments or a feeling of disappointment may arise.. So it’s better to be grateful for the time shared and continue on your way.

When you stay in a relationship only out of inertia, it’s time to let go

Sometimes it happens that we maintain a relationship not out of love, but out of inertia, out of routine, out of comfort. It is good for us to have that person to go out with, to accompany us in our daily lives, to not feel alone. However, this is not a sufficient reason. You both deserve to have relationships that give you fulfillment, drive and enthusiasm. Conformism can lead us to dissatisfaction in the future because, deep down, we will always want a more meaningful connection.

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Reflect and decide

So when you doubt whether you should let a person go, ask yourself the following questions:

Why am I in this relationship?Is it for love, for clinging, for comfort, for fear of loneliness…? Try to be honest with yourself. What do I want from my relationships? Our expectations of others must be flexible, but we all have some essential minimums that we want our relationships to meet. May there be mutual love, respect and support, which motivates and enriches you… Recognize what your minimums are and check if they are being met.

First of all remember that you have the right to enjoy deep, true and meaningful connections. That you do not have to tolerate pain or dissatisfaction. And that a change of course will never be a failure, but rather an act of self-love.