Wishful thinking: when we only see what we want to see

We are continually making decisions that have to do with our work, our relationships… But, do you think that all of them are rational and logical? Sometimes, we are not aware that our thinking is a wishful thinking in which our desires have a great weight.

When we want an object or a situation, for example to achieve a certain goal or to have that house that you have seen and that you cannot get out of your mind, we send a signal to our brain in which we indicate that we are missing something. All the decisions we make from then on will be influenced by this desire.

What happens then with reality? This becomes for us what we want and causes us to see everything that happens “in our own way.” It is not difficult to think about the number of problems that this can bring us, not only in terms of relationships, but also in relation to work. Reality is what it is and no matter how much we want to see it with different eyes, it will not change..

Thought becomes a slave to desire

It may seem extreme, but the thought becomes a slave to that desire that is in our mind, especially if that desire is very great. When this happens, no matter how rational we think we are when making our decisions, this will not be the case. We no longer see the true reality, but rather we see what we want to see.

Wishful thinking is based on illusion and fantasy. This way, it doesn’t matter what is really happening, if we are going down the wrong path, if we are not treating people well, if we are making mistakes… We cannot see any of this because we are visualizing a separate world, one that we imagine and we make real in our minds.

Although wishful thinking can be a form of motivation, sometimes It also becomes a way to avoid a situation that we don’t like.. For example, let’s imagine that in a relationship – in which everything is going wrong – we want everything to continue as before, when everything was better. Our thoughts will recover the memories of those times where happiness reigned, it will bring them to the present and we will imagine that this is how the relationship goes now.

We are living in a fantasy without wanting to and without being aware that we close our eyes to what is happening.. Actually, we pretend. We end up focusing on ourselves, on our own desire and we end up forgetting about others. This causes serious problems in our environment.

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The traps of wishful thinking

We have to be aware that wishful thinking is never born from reality, but about what we want to happen. But, being realistic is necessary to avoid falling into certain traps that can cause serious problems in our lives. Some of these are the following:

You focus on the goal and not the process: This causes you not to be able to see the mistakes you are making, what you are doing wrong and that if you do not rectify it it will not lead to a good outcome. In the end, what you have wanted so much can turn against you.You will not check if what you want is feasible: When we have a goal or a dream, the first thing we have to do is verify that it is viable so as not to make efforts in vain and avoid disappointments. Desiderative thinking prevents you from making this assessment and in turn allows you to allocate resources to objectives that are not within your reach.You will be frustrated and disappointed: Wishful thinking makes you live in a fantasy world that, as such, is not real. This will cause you to become frustrated and disappointed when you have no other choice and you have to stick to reality. Despite this, if your desire is very strong you will continue in this situation that will progressively wear you down.

If we live in this fantasy world for too long, there will come a time when we will not know how to distinguish what is real and what is not.. There will be times in our interpersonal relationships when others will try to open our eyes. This will be like a slap of reality that will make you sad. So don’t go back to fantasy to feel better.

We find ourselves in a real world from which we cannot escape no matter how much we want to. If you don’t open your eyes, situations and people will end up doing so. But, it is better that you do it for yourself, if you do not want to end up destroyed by the dream in which you have been immersed for so long, a lie that you have believed to be real.

Wishful thinking is very comfortable. With him we feel comfortable, exactly where we want to be. But, this also transforms us into cowardly people who flee from reality and everything we do not want to accept.

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