What do I do to deal with an emotionally distant person?

Is there someone in your environment with whom you have difficulty communicating? Are your conversations trivial and when the time comes to talk about something that really involves you, you can’t? Can you share many things with this person, but when you talk about their emotions they close down? If all this happens to you with someone, it is very likely that we are talking about an emotionally distant person.

Emotionally distant people are often described as “cold people.” They seem to have no feeling, some may even point them out as people who have hearts of stone, immutable, etc. Many qualifiers that indicate an attitude that we judge, but that very few of us understand.

What is an emotionally distant person like?

These types of people, who are characterized by maintaining a distance from other people, may seem unconcerned when it comes to the problems of others. They usually put up barriers to not let the other person enter.despite the attempts that that other may make.

Furthermore, they have serious difficulties creating and remaining in spaces of emotional intimacy with each other. Some may show a certain degree of lack of empathy and compassion, be very critical and even isolate themselves.

It must be taken into account and made clear that an emotionally distant person is not an introvert. Introverted people need more time to show their true attributes and who they are, but in no way do they put emotional distance.

Some of the reasons why these people have developed this type of personality are related to their primary attachments and losses during childhood.: parents, siblings and those who were the first caregivers. If during the first years of life there were failed relationships, deep traces will undoubtedly remain on the child.

Thus, when feeling frustrated and abandoned, you need to close yourself off in such a way so that they do not harm you again. This is why, as adults, we find these people who cannot communicate what is happening to them. It’s a way they have to protect themselves.

Other reasons why these people have these characteristics are related to more current factors, such as stress, distrust and doubts. Although it takes time to dismantle these ideas or structures, the approach will be productive at some point.

How to communicate with emotionally distant people?

First of all, it is necessary to evaluate the situation to know what we are dealing with. It is necessary to find which areas are more difficult to enter and which are not. If you find an area where the person feels comfortable and can share a little more, it may be important to start there.

You can verbalize some of what is happening to you. Communicate it in a simple way and without complaints. Make it clear to him that you want to know what is happening to him, always making it clear that you do not want to pressure him. Try to leave your emotions outside, don’t transform it into something yours. It is very important that the person does not feel it as a demand, but as a space in which he will not be judged or evaluated.

Accept your limitations. Accept that it may take many attempts before the person can open up. and maybe what you get back is minimal. However, even if it is a very small advance for you, it may have taken an enormous effort for the emotionally distant person to get there; Therefore, you must value it.

In addition, accept that he may never open up to you, or that, simply, you get tired sooner. It is important to pay attention to what works and what doesn’t, what sustains openness and what makes the person close down. But knowing what we just described here, perhaps you now know better how to approach that relationship and what to do and what not to do to benefit that person.

Do you know any emotionally distant people? Do you think it is possible to achieve some type of rapprochement with these types of cold people? How would you approach a romantic relationship with her?

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