We are wrong in this insistence of wanting to have someone

One of these days, I had that chat with friends about how things are going and the loves of life. We got into this of missing someone. One of them said he was looking for someone, and he just got out of a relationship. At the very least, he was supposed to be thinking more about himself, more about which trip he would take, which dog he was going to adopt; even self-evaluate.

The other one came up with this chat: I’m seeing it there, getting to know it; as if there were no options, looking like a mother pulling her ear, forcing her to go to her annoying cousin’s party because we have a sulky face.

And that’s where we go wrong. Because? Just take a look: one of our flaws is that we don’t set the limits and don’t present all the cards on the table, hiding the game right away until the very end of the second half. It’s a partnership, not one-on-one. And we get all wrapped up in it. We left for that ”ah… I don’t know yet; Let’s see what happens.” Because it’s an ugly flaw of us to be individualistic at times when we don’t have confidence in ourselves, shrugging off the certainties that, deep down, we know. Or because we hear and see so much that being with someone is synonymous with happiness; and then we cling to this idea and we sink into this dark thing of we can’t be alone.

I’ll tell you, see?, we don’t even prepare, we don’t even make a list to check and avoid the next mistakes, and right away we put in second gear without even pulling the handbrake. And I say this because I also have my hand up in this situation of absence of someone. It’s just different to have someone than to like someone. And we were on this hunt without any planning. And when we are celebrating and toasting for overcoming having found it, we forget that always after the party, there is a mess – hell – to clean up.

SEE ALSO: PASSION ENDS, DID YOU KNOW?

We don’t take care of our interests, nor of ourselves because we are unbelievers and think that self-indulgence is better than trying to be really happy. We keep rewinding the same things, looking like a work routine that we can’t take anymore, but we can’t let go because of the bills.

We accept the request even though it lacks flavor and we keep chewing and chewing and chewing, making a face of someone who is enjoying it, but is shoving it down our throats without water to help for fear of saying that we didn’t like it. Because it seems that it’s so difficult to have someone, to fall in love, or it’s so bad to be alone, that we keep struggling with despair like a fish out of water that only calms down having water to swim.

But one thing we don’t need is the sea to breathe, and not the sea to be. It’s all a conspiracy that we suffer, being from social networks, from seasonal dates, from apps; and we fall into such superfluous vanity…

We are wrong in this insistence of wanting to have someone when, in fact, we need to insist more on ourselves, assuring ourselves that the soul is clean and pure to have that smile from ear to ear for whatever comes. Having structure for the emotional that was shaken days – months – ago. Without the suffocation of spilling everything at the very end, almost going to overtime, and without having to rewind the tape once more.

Whether or not it’s worth feeling sorry for something here, it’s only ourselves that we swamp, having only the tip of our nose to breathe waiting for the high tide to go down. And when it goes down, we feel that relief and we want everything right from the beginning. Quite a thing for muggle people who like to suffer, right?

But, oh, do me a favor? Grab a pen, paper and write it down: next time, I need to improve. But now, I need to take care of myself. And we raise our hand together to the one of those who are happy alone and worrying more about themselves.

stay for a coffee

SEE TOO:

Dating with the intention of marrying