Want to know what the Happiness Formula is?

It’s really a little difficult to define what happiness is. A better question than what happiness is is the question: what can we do to be happier?

Hello friends, how are you?

This is a reflection text on happiness. Happiness has become a requirement in recent decades. Before, it seems, we didn’t we needed Be happy. Who was happy, was. And those who weren’t, found another occupation to fulfill their life. This is well documented in research that asked people about the meaning of life and their goals.

One of the main objectives found, therefore, was: I want to be happy.

definitions of happiness

The (philosophical) problem is that it is not as simple as it seems to define what happiness is. We can go from the extreme of nominalism (philosophical branch that does not believe in the existence of general or universal things) and say that happiness is just an empty word, a flatus vocals, a sound to describe particular states.

We can also look into the dictionary and find the definitions of happiness such as: the state of being happy or happiness or well-being or contentment or good result or success. All these synonyms lead us to other definitions and to other signifiers and we could do this ad infinitum.

Another possibility is to agree a little with nominalism and say that the word happiness only describes – and badly – ​​emotional states in which we feel good, in which we do not feel discomfort or pain, in which we feel that nothing is missing.

In psychology, oddly enough, we study mental illnesses more than mental health states. There are exceptions, of course, but if we were to investigate and look for a definition of happiness, we would have some difficulties. It seems to me that humanism and positive psychology psychologists (which are the lines that most investigate happiness) seem to believe in the need to define what happiness is.

In general, and in positive psychology specifically, the definition of happiness is: “nothing more than an emotion, an emotional feeling of well-being and contentment that lasts for a long time – the perception that one is happy”.

Well, it doesn’t seem like a more accurate definition than the dictionary definition. An addendum from psychology is the difference (which we also find in common sense) between happiness as a transitory state – “I am happy” – and a more lasting state – “I am happy”. Being happy would then be a feeling of satisfaction with life that permeates and remains for long periods of time.

The question of defining a practical and pragmatic point of view is even irrelevant if we think about the importance of the question: how to be happy?

The formula of happiness

Researching on the subject of happiness, I found on this site, the happiness formula:

Letting go + Acceptance + Gratitude = Happiness

Which we can translate into English as:

Letting Go + Acceptance + Gratitude = Happiness

According to the author of the text, we can call these elements of the happiness formula whatever we want: skills, processes, objectives, behaviors.

If we think about the moments when we feel happy, we will see that these 3 elements (to a greater or lesser extent) were present. Take the test: think for a while about a period, day or week, month or year, when you remember being very happy.

In these moments of happiness, we have these three elements present. For example, it is very common for us to associate the maximum states of happiness with achievements: passing the entrance exam, starting a relationship, buying a house, being recognized professionally, etc.

Through these examples of achievements (they could be others), we can clearly see that there is an intrinsic feeling of gratitude. As if to say, “Thank you, thank you for this happening to me!”

And, obviously, we will accept the moment, because it is a pleasant moment and, therefore, it would not make sense for us to be fighting or going against a moment that is felt as good. And, implicitly, we also let go of the past a little bit, let the unpleasant or negative things go (letting go).

The problem is that in the moments when we are or are happy we don’t need to be happy. And in the moments when we are not or are not happy, how to be happy?

How to be happy?

If we agree with the happiness formula, it seems simple to increase our happiness by increasing each of the elements present in the formula. That is, we must increase “letting go”, acceptance and gratitude.

Let go

Letting go has several meanings. We can let go of things, objects, possessions that no longer serve us. We can make our life more minimalist.

– See our text – Minimalism: could you be a more minimalist person?

We can also think of letting go as abandoning situations that cause us pain, interpersonal relationships that add nothing, letting go of negative people.

But in my opinion, what most increases happiness is letting go of the past. Isn’t it amazing to realize that the past is gone?

Really! Where is your past now?

If it still exists, it exists only in your memory (inside your head!) as an image, as a sound, as a thought/feeling. Well, letting go of what happened is an excellent way to be happier today.

Acceptance

Like letting go, the acceptance element of the happiness formula has many meanings. We can start accepting who we are (and stop wanting to be someone else to please other people). We can accept who others really are and not want them to change and be the way we want them to be.

We can accept the time. The sun. The rain. “And the rest come if they have to come, or don’t come” (as Fernando Pessoa would say).

And, in my opinion, the most important thing about acceptance is accepting the present moment, just as it is. Nothing causes so much irritation, discontent, sadness and unhappiness as wanting the now to be different from what it is.

That is, a subject can have everything to be happy. But he is not happy because he wants more than he has. Wanting more than he has, he doesn’t accept what he has and thus is unhappy.

In this sense, acceptance touches gratitude.

Gratitude

These days I saw a little man on the shuttle bus here in São Lourenço get off the back door of the bus and, from the back, he shouted to the driver: “So and so, thank you! Good job for you!” And he came down smiling. It was a beautiful scene that reminded me of the only elderly person who seemed happy in the nursing home where I worked (it was my first job as a psychologist).

This old man looked at the sunset and, looking at the sunset, was grateful for the life he had had. He thanked his entire family for getting him a place there. He was grateful for the place, for the people who worked there and cared for him.

Meanwhile, all the other old men and women were grouchy. Not only hadn’t they left the past in the past, but they hadn’t accepted its present, much less been able to say thank you.

Conclusion

It’s really a little difficult to define what happiness is. Definition seems to elude us whenever we approach it. A better question than what happiness is is the question: what can we do to be happier?

The happiness formula says that to increase our happiness we must increase our gratitude, our acceptance and let go.

So, do you want to be happier?

Thank you more.

Accept more.

Abandon and forget the past. I let it go along with everything that no longer serves you.

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