Nonviolent Communication: Feelings Checklist

In our western culture, we have long training aimed at developing our mental abilities. We spent years at school, college, maybe graduate school to perfect ways of creating concepts, abstracting, analyzing, defending arguments. However, in these long years of study we have little or no contact with skills that aim to connect with our sentimental life.

Nonviolent Communication – Compassionate Communication

With this cultural process, we get excellent at judging ourselves and others according to certain criteria. In general, we can barely hear what another person is saying without judging that it is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, whether it makes sense or not, and in the meantime, between mishearing and judging, we are already thinking about how or not what we must answer in order for our argument to stand out.

CNV creator Marshal Rosenberg was fond of Krishnamurti’s quote that “observing without judging is the highest form of human intelligence”. That’s because when we judge what another person is saying as positive or negative, right or wrong, we are closing ourselves off from connection. And the objective of true, sincere, profound, compassionate communication is precisely to create a bridge with the other, instead of closing the access routes. And for that, at CNV, we learn to connect with others, and with ourselves, through two basic points: feelings (feelings) and needs (needs).

See here – CNV – List of Universal Human Needs

Theoretically, there are many perspectives in psychology about what emotions are, what feelings are, what sensations are, and so on. Didactically, we can make some distinctions for a simple definition of terms:

Difference between sensations and feelings

A sensation is a physical perception. An itch in the foot, a tingling in the hand, a fluttering in the chest, a taste, butterflies in the stomach are sensations because they are related to the body.

A feeling is often also felt in the body but it can be more general and even non-specific. I can feel that I am relaxed (and feel the relaxation in my shoulders), just as I can feel happy without being able to tell which specific part of my body I feel the happiness in (perhaps in the slight smile on my face or not even that).

Difference between feelings and judgments

We also need to differentiate between feelings and judgments about other people’s behavior. I can feel disappointed about a refusal of an invitation that I extended, but to think that I was abandoned is a judgment on another person. In this judgment, I assess that this person has abandoned me. It is not a feeling that is in me, but a value judgment that points to what or who is outside of me.

amount of feelings

Another interesting question about feelings is the question of how many there are. Theoretically, we find researchers who try to make a simplified list of universal human feelings. For example, in the cartoon Inside Out, we find five feelings that are five characters:

– Happiness,

– Sadness,

– Rage,

– fear and

Disgust (Disgust).

Another thread at the other extreme is the view that feelings are relatively universal but their names and ways of expressing them vary incredibly from culture to culture. In the book of human emotions (The Book of human emotions), Smith brings a list of emotions that we experience, but we don’t have words (or a single word), like our longing. Looking at the list in Smith’s book, it seems that everyone has alexithymia, the inability to express emotions.

The Pantupis, in Australia, have fifteen words for fear. In Papua New Guinea, they have the word awumbuk, which is the melancholy and inertia when a loved one, who was close, goes somewhere else. The list is very interesting – matutolypea, the sadness that appears only in the morning; basorexia, the sudden urge to kiss that someone…

Anyway, if we study anthropology and the words that describe feelings in other cultures, we will also have a larger vocabulary for our consciousness (although this can be difficult to communicate with someone who does not know about the term. Saying that we are homesick is understood only by Portuguese speakers).

Difference between emotions and feelings

Although we generally use the two terms interchangeably, neuroscientists such as Antonio Damazio define emotion as what is related to action and feeling to what goes on in the body (and can be hidden).

In the words of the Portuguese neuroscientist: “Emotion is a program of actions, therefore, it is something that unfolds with successive actions. It’s a kind of stock concert. It has nothing to do with what goes on in the mind.

Read Also: What is psychopedagogy? Undergraduate, Graduate and Profession

It is triggered by the mind, but it happens with actions that take place inside the body, in the muscles, heart, lungs, in endocrine reactions. Feelings are, by definition, the mental experience we have of what goes on in the body. It is the world that follows (the emotion). Even if it happens very quickly, in a matter of seconds, first there are actions and it can be seen without any microscope. You can see me having an emotion, you don’t see all of it, but you see a part of it. You can see what’s on my face, the skin can change, the movements I make etc. while the feeling you can’t see.

The feeling I have and you don’t know if I have it or not. And if you have a feeling of deep sadness, but you want to deceive me, and you want to behave as if you are happy, you will really deceive me, because I cannot know what is inside your head, I can guess, but it is different. ”.

Thus, I may have an itchy feeling in my foot (it is a sensation). I may have a feeling that my heart is racing (corresponding to an emotion such as fear) and feel a sense of alertness (feeling) and judge such an experience as negative (judgment).

Below you will find the list of feelings we use in Nonviolent Communication. One of the exercises is to always have this list at hand so that we can express ourselves beyond “I’m fine” and “I’m not fine”, leaving aside emotional illiteracy, which unfortunately is still so common.

I provide the original term, in English, used by Marshal in his book Nonviolent communication: a language of lifeas I recognize that a translation is not always a perfect choice (I therefore accept suggestions and criticisms).

How we feel when our needs are being met:

Absorbed (absorbed)

Adventurous, brave (adventurous)

alert (alert)

alive (alive)

Astonished (amazed)

fun (amused)

animated (animated)

Appreciative (appreciative)

ardent (ardent)

aroused (aroused)

surprised (astonish)

Happy (blissful)

breathless (breathless)

Floating (buoyant)

calm (calm)

Carefree (carefree)

Satisfied (complacent)

serene (composed)

Concerned (concerned)

confident (confident)

Cool (cool)

curious (curious)

dazzled (dazzled)

Enchanted (delighted)

eager (eager)

exuberant (bullient)

ecstatic (ecstatic)

Effervescent (effervescent)

Are You Ready to Discover Your Twin Flame?

Answer just a few simple questions and Psychic Jane will draw a picture of your twin flame in breathtaking detail:

Love Magic Works Free love spells that work fast

Free Money Spell Cast For You Online

Free Love Spell Cast For You Online

Free Career Spell Cast For You Online

Nonviolent Communication: Feelings Checklist

Nonviolent Communication – Compassionate Communication

Difference between sensations and feelings

Difference between feelings and judgments

amount of feelings

Difference between emotions and feelings

Are You Ready to Discover Your Twin Flame?

Keep reading...

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Angel Number 3456 – Spiritual Meaning | Numerology One

40 sincere friendship phrases to honor your best friend

Romantic Good Afternoon Message

The 50 best phrases from The QUEEN of the SUR – About love and men!