Change is needed

Changes are part of life. Going to a new city, deciding on an international career, changing profession, marital status, job, home, life.

There are the desired changes and also the unforeseen ones. Regardless of how it is, new situations lead us to seek different ways of adapting and give us the opportunity to broaden our experiences and mature.

Sometimes the will to change exists, it is legitimate, but the individual finds himself paralyzed in the face of the transformations he wants to carry out.

This is very common to occur throughout the therapeutic process. As the subject begins to perceive and know himself better, he gains autonomy and wants to reformulate some areas of life for the better.

However, leaving a known state to reach a new one brings with it challenging aspects.

Along with the desire for change, feelings of fear and insecurity also arise. Is it worth it? Wonder if I can make it? These questions are natural and it is important to be aware, to avoid possible boycotts and, thus, to be able to carry out the desired changes.

Will, courage and strategy

The yearning to change is important, as it serves as a motivator and encourager to take the necessary actions. For this, it is essential to have good planning. Reflecting, pondering, creating strategies and deadlines is essential to achieve what you want.

Some aspects of this process deserve special attention. Below are some of them:

– Every change leads to some kind of loss. It is necessary to put this in perspective. To live in a new city, for example, it is necessary to lose the comfort of the known environment. Losses are natural and positive to a certain extent, they are part of the movement of life and are necessary for new situations to actually happen.

– As much as there is planning and action strategies, as much as there is will, there is an essential element to make the transition from the old situation to the new one: Courage! This ability to face challenges is essential to pave the way and get where it takes. Courage along with faith, that change is the best path to follow, is what sustains the crossing. When we give up the safe situation and are building a new one, doubts tend to arise intensely: Did I do it right? Will I notice? This happens because the new situation is still being formed, it is not yet possible to bear fruit, it is necessary to invest time, energy and wait with courage and faith.

– Change must meet the desire to lead the subject to a reality more consistent with what brings meaning to his life and consequently more satisfaction and joy, but that does not mean that there will be no difficulties. Problems will always exist, what changes is the emotional condition of the person. When a choice is made towards a new situation and the change is implemented, the sense of accomplishment brings contentment and the person tends to become more tolerant of adversity and more capable of overcoming their own challenges.

The essence

I once read a sentence that caught my attention and fits well at that moment: “It’s important not to lose sight of the things that enchant you, because there’s a bit of your essence there”

The more we distance ourselves from what enchants us in terms of what is purely convenient, the more life loses its meaning. Sometimes we don’t realize this distancing and when we realize it we are very far from what brings us joy. At that moment, the seed of a transformation is planted and it is important to look at it with courage and assess whether it is time to start a transition with all the challenges and satisfaction that this change will bring.

*Marcela Pimenta Pavan, clinical psychologist, CRP 05/41841.
Contact: marcelapimentapavan@gmail.com
Office in Largo do Machado – RJ

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