To love is to want happiness

To love is to want the happiness of the other, even if it’s not with us. You know, I never knew how to answer that old question: What is love for you? I believe it’s because I never felt it until you reached, or rather, tried to reach me.

I discovered that I was feeling something different, and it scared me. It scared me because I never believed that one person could feel that way for another… what do you mean? Do you want the person just for you? The world is so big and the only thing you wanted is to be by my side. Ah, in the corners of life, I bumped into you. And to this day I don’t remember exactly how you appeared, I just know that you appeared, and then I was sure that I had found the love of my life. Even if I don’t really believe him.

Like everything that ever happened to me, I doubted that it would be good for me, I couldn’t believe that there was someone who was waiting for me to get home safe, who asked if I was okay, who worried about me when my colds and fevers took over. me. He knows? No, you were my world, and today I see that. I always knew that everything in life is fleeting, that everything can end, but I never believed in our end, as I still don’t.

It’s not because it ended, that it ceased to exist. The hurts are going away, the dark cloud is passing, the pains are decreasing, the wounds healing. Yes, and it is only with time that this happens. It’s no use camouflaging with someone else, it’s no use looking for your laughter in other mouths, nor your hug in other arms. No way, it’s you.

But after we broke up, I started to see the other side of life, like I did before you. I went back to believing only in myself, and in what I always said: this is not for me. But after all the pain, love. This time himself. And then I can remember the good things again, the moments that existed, the moments that you and I were us, it was the most beautiful part of my story.

Writing about us makes me miss you, but a good nostalgia. To know that one day I could experience the “love of my life” that everyone says you feel at least once in your life. That love where you lose interest in anyone else, and start living for one.

I know you’re out there living your life, I’m living mine too. And yes, I wish you all the happiness, I’m not able to hate a person who loved me, who gave himself to me and who decided to leave.

Come on, the world is all yours. Maybe I’ll be your port and one day you’ll come back. Just like it came back several times.

Juninho Scalante

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