Time to start over.

I miss your courtship, the patient and serene way you used to lead me. Always willing to wait, to accept the no, to accept the later and the later. I miss what we were, and how we were, but we have to move on. Don’t get me wrong, I’d love to wait for you all my life, but the world outside is calling me, and inside it’s all so dark and empty.

Don’t be scared, I won’t forget you. Somehow I will always be yours, we are linked by divine will -or stubbornness-. I just want to keep you in the drawer, take it out of my eyes and, especially, out of my heart.

Don’t belittle my feelings if one day you see me around, holding hands with someone else exchanging smiles and dreams. Don’t feel angry, or provoked. Feel proud! Before I met you, I was so averse to such displays of affection, and you took my fear away.

Don’t be insecure, no love will ever compare to what I lived with you and lived for you. It was love without reservation, with a full soul and feet in the sky. It was a girl’s love, a love of discovery, the kind we tell our grandchildren and write in our biography.

Don’t be sorry, don’t even think you lost me. I just want to go my way, since you’ve also followed yours. I’ve waited for you for a long time, and it’s very likely that I will continue to wait, but I can’t continue to limit myself to that. If you have to go back, if you want to go back, you know the way home and the color of the gate.

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If the time comes, we can continue to write our history and erase what caused pain. If you arrive late, don’t be annoyed with the traffic, or with the choices you’ve made, just enjoy the certainty that everything went as it should be.

You will hear about me and the only reaction I ask of you is to smile. And keep smiling with every memory, no regrets or hurt, just peace. It is this peace that from time to time stops my tears. The same peace that will make me return to the world with a light soul and ready to be born again.