They tell me that I am an intense person, is this a problem?

“They tell me that I am an intense person, that I take everything incredibly hard and that I tend to overestimate what happens to me.” Is this feeling familiar to you? The truth is that in our internal universe we are all sensitive and have emotions on the surface. The difference is that there are those who present more particular traits in their way of being and handling what they feel.

There are those who do not repress what they feel and express it openly, without filters. There are those who experience in a more profound way the entire range of emotions that define the human being and sometimes fall into ambivalence. They can feel a certain balance in sadness and even a certain anguish in happy moments.

However, Is there something wrong with whether one identifies with this psycho-emotional profile? The reality is that no. However, it is evident that we live in a world accustomed – almost obsessed – with defining what “normal” is. The intense personality is perceived as unpredictable and difficult to control or understand. This means that those who live, feel and act through this pattern are often viewed with concern. We analyze it.

I am an intense person: what can I do?

When I’m told I’m an intense person, I get upset and, as you might expect, it doesn’t sit particularly well with me.

It is very common to encounter those figures accustomed to labeling others. Likewise, another fact appears. Society does not accept or understand those who openly express their emotions or respond with greater sensitivity to any event.

Are those Rare avis which is difficult not only to understand, but also to master. They are unpredictable, too passionate and show a vitality that is not standardized in a world accustomed to containment. Also to hide what you feel. Therefore, having personalities that vibrate in a different way can be seen as a threat at times.

So, how to act when we are frequently told this comment?

Understand who you are so you know you don’t have a problem

Intense personality is related to high sensitivity and other traits that make up one’s own profile. In fact, Vanderbilt University and the hospital Massachusetts published a study on the subject years ago. It referred to the development of a scale for its detection.

We are faced with our own typology of personality with characteristics that are measurable and identifiable. Let’s see below those dimensions that define them.

Emotional depth and passion. Every emotion, whether positive or negative, is experienced intensely. Furthermore, they are very committed and passionate people in what they do.High empathy and sensitivity. The trait of high sensitivity, both emotional and physiological, is present in this personality profile. That is, they may feel bothered by intense sounds, smells, and lights.High perception and observation. They are also very intuitive people. On average, this personality pattern correlates with extraversion.Highlights his high imagination, creativity and dynamism. They are very active men and women who need to connect with their environment.Likewise, Another particular characteristic is existential crises. In general, they tend to question many aspects of the reality that surrounds them: society, relationships, meaning of life, etc. It is also important to refer to the emotional ambivalence mentioned above. That is, that feeling of having thoughts and emotions of both positive and negative valence is something common in them.

Why is this a problem for others?

In fact, when they tell me that I am an intense person, the first thing I feel is that there is a problem in me. However, it is better to be clear about one detail.

Emotional intensity is not a pathology. In reality, these types of comments respond to the habit of applying the epithet “too much” to almost any behavior that goes beyond what is considered “normal.”

Eva is “too intense.” Pablo is “too shy.” Laura is “too dramatic.” Ernesto is “too impulsive.” It seems that, on average, we all have a hard time fitting into that middle ground where not attracting attention or not being pointed at. In this way, and with regard to intense personalities, it is common for them to experience certain ups and downs in their social relationships.

They are very dynamic profiles that need great intellectual stimulation. This means that not everyone can keep up with them, making them appear “too hyperactive, passionate, changeable.” Likewise, given their great empathy and emotional depth, they often have problems in their emotional relationships. They don’t always feel as loved as they need, They are very sensitive to criticism and frequently suffer disappointments.

What aspects should you take into account?

In reality, if they tell me that I am an intense person, the central problem is not there. What others may think is not relevant. After all, what is life if we don’t experience it authentically, intensely and passionately? Basically, nothing, a leaf blown away by the wind.

Now, there is another decisive aspect. The sensitivity of the intense personality makes it difficult to fit in at times., maintain satisfactory social relationships and be immune to the injustices of this world. It is difficult to regulate emotions, especially when one leads to sadness, disappointment, contradiction or anguish.

The challenge these men and women have is to make the most of their gifts. This involves developing skills to manage emotions and adjusting more realistic expectations. about people and life itself. You can be born with wings on your back, but sometimes by flying too high we lose perspective of things.

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