9 qualities of a true friendship

The friends They constitute a strong and eternal pillar in the lives of human beings. We could say that they are our life companions. It is well known that true friendships do much more than help us when we need it.

This hypothesis is not only part of popular wisdom, but There is research that affirms that broad and solid social support lengthens our life expectancy.

But in a friendship we often have doubts. What differentiates a true friendship from a simple companion? What emotional requirements does that friend have that make him or her unique and fit into the category of “best friend” or “bosom friend”?

According to Robert Rowney, a psychiatrist and director of the mood disorders unit at the Cleveland Clinic, There are certain habits that distinguish true friends from those who are not..

Next, we will explain the 8 qualities to know how to differentiate a true friendship from a partner or acquaintance.

Of course, to these 8 indicators we must add the ability and confidence to tell the truth or to confront reality even if this initially hurts us or is unpleasant.

What are the 8 qualities that distinguish a true friendship from other relationships?

1. They motivate us to accept more aspects of our person

Human beings have a tendency to be very self-critical. and that can lead us to not have constructive thoughts about ourselves. Psychiatrist Rowney points out that a true friend encourages us when we are being too negative and states that “people feel better when they are surrounded by people who are close to them, who give them support and encouragement when they need it.”

Those closest friends will be the ones who express disagreement when they perceive that we are treating ourselves harshly. “True friends increase our self-esteem naturally, and in turn, encouraging a friend makes us feel better about ourselves.”

2. They tell us when we are not right

They are confident enough to be clear that they want the best for us and, therefore, to let us know when we are really making a mistake. None of us are perfect and our friends are capable of being aware of our mistakes.and share them with us to learn.

Subtlety also reveals a person who is truly special in your life and has an important role. “If it’s a recent or not-so-close friend, he’s not going to dare say something that might bother you; Instead, a true friend, someone you really trust, will know how to tell you what you need to hear. It is very important to have friends who are clear and direct.”

3. You can count on their help and support

One of the incredible characteristics that your best friend will be happy to share with you is his eternal concern and attention towards you. “A true friend is present by considering your needs as his own.” states Rowney.

If you want to check if one of your friends shares the gift of attention towards your special person, see if he/she uses or puts his/her cell phone on silent when you are together. A study carried out in the United Kingdom in 2012 maintains that the presence of a mobile phone can distract us when we are with someone. Your best friend will not allow that in front of you.

The help and support that is shown and provided in friendship is so great that it even triggers our levels of empathy, as revealed by this study from the University of Virginia (United States). These researchers discovered that a person’s brain activity when faced with a threatening or dangerous situation is practically the same as when it is their friend who is in the situation. That is, the ability to put ourselves in the other’s place is accentuated to such a point that we have a neuronal activation equivalent to that of our friends. Amazing, right?

4. He listens to you with his heart

It is a classic habit to talk to people and most cannot help but change the topic to talk about themselves. You will agree with me that conversations with our true friends are not monologues or soliloquies. This is not how a true friendship is built.

5. He respects you

QIt may seem like a very basic requirement to add to this list, but not everyone knows how to bring this quality to all the small details. A good friend does not criticize you for free, does not speak ill of you behind your back, does not insult or demand anything that he would not demand of himself.

6. He is a good companion

If before we talked about how a true friend is always available to help you in the most difficult moments, This is also someone who has worked as a companion. That is, the help it gives you is adjusted to what you need, always seeking your recovery and not taking care of your problems or “getting out of the way” of the negative event.

7. He gives you affection

A good friend knows that positive emotions must be lived and enjoyed.. Social norms of emotional repression do not work for him and, in one way or another, he always manages to show you the affection he feels for you.

8. He doesn’t hide his discomfort from you

Everybody has problems. However, when one person in the relationship leans on the other but this dynamic never occurs again, the balance is lost. A good friend knows that you also care about him and will never hide from you what hurts him. In fact, he will seek your support.

9. He has an open conversation with you

When we are able to maintain an open dialogue with a person we are more likely to strengthen the relationship.. Paul Sacco, PhD, assistant professor at the University of Maryland School of Social Work, says the key to a balanced conversation between both people is actively paying attention to what the other person is saying.

As you see, there are general characteristics for a true friendship. Your friends may or may not meet them, but what is clear is that this should be your goal for any type of relationship.

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