Characteristics to identify toxic people

People are social beings by nature. This need for exchange is a source of well-being, positive emotions and learning. It is important to be attentive to our interactions, so as not to allow their benefits to be taken away from us. Otherwise, we can get caught in the traps of those who only seek to hurt us. Therefore, you must know how to identify toxic people and how to handle them.

Keep in mind that Relationships with this type of individuals extinguish our vitality, generate stress and psychological discomfort.. No one is immune to their behavior. Let’s see more data below.

What does it mean to be a “toxic person”?

It is relevant to keep in mind that, as human beings, we are not toxic. However, in the context of this article, we will use the term “toxic person” to refer to those individuals who negatively affect the well-being of others by impeding their personal growth, emotional, behavioral and cognitive expression.

Toxic people can create dysfunctional relationships that can be very damaging to your interpersonal ties. They can distance others from their families and friends, creating an environment of isolation and emotional dependence.

Signs to identify toxic people

Given the popularity of the term “toxic person”, it is necessary to emphasize that we should not abuse it. It is not enough for that coworker to always be in a bad mood or to give us specific criticism to label them that way.

Identifying toxic people requires taking into account a series of very specific traits which, in general, remain stable over time. They are deep-rooted behavioral and emotional patterns that can be difficult to change.

1. They are selfish and self-centered

One of the characteristics of toxic people is that they talk a lot about themselves. They monopolize conversations and highlight their interests and needs. This causes the balance of relationships to be lost and the other person to feel belittled.

2. They blame excessively

They make you think that you are the wrong one, the one who doesn’t know, the incompetent, the one who does everything wrong, etc. They convince you that you are the problem, which makes you feel guilty. In the long term, this sentiment might not be so favorable.

The feeling of guilt, although it is considered prosocial, can have a negative impact on people’s health. A study conducted on German adults has found an association between guilt and depression. For this reason and others, we consider that a person who constantly blames others is toxic.

3. They have deficiencies in being empathetic

Another trait to identify toxic people is their poor ability to empathize. They have difficulty understanding the perspective of others and be aware of the emotional effects that your actions have.

According to a publication in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences and This lack of empathy has a negative social impact, because it is a source of conflicts and interpersonal suffering. This turns relationships into a space where no one has the possibility of developing optimally.

4. They are manipulative

As we already said, toxic people only think about themselves and care very little about the well-being of others. Therefore, They are able to blackmail, control and use in order to fulfill or satisfy their desires and needs.

According to the book Emotional blackmailby Susan Forward, blackmail is a form of manipulation that uses fear and obligation. These treatments can affect the emotional stability of others.since by controlling and blackmailing them it prevents them from reaffirming their rights and displaying their values ​​in the world.

5. They inhibit emotional expression

Another characteristic of toxic people is that they inhibit the emotional expression of others. Through manipulation, control and criticism they can make people feel insecure or afraid to express what they feel and think.

Suppressing emotions could increase mortality risk, This is indicated by a longitudinal study published in the Journal of Psychosomatic Research.

6. They generate negative emotions

Another way to identify toxic people is that no one feels calm with his company. And they have the ability to destabilize emotions. Furthermore, when we are next to them:

They drain our energy and optimism.We feel controlled.We feel the obligation to care for you, serve you or protect you.We feel self-conscious.They promote guilt, shame and fear.

In general, it is known that negative emotions are a risk factor for physical and mental illnesses. Therefore, toxic people have the potential to deteriorate our health through the induction of negative moods.

7. They practice violence and abuse

Not all toxic people are violent or abusive, however, all those who are are considered toxic due to their behavior. Abuse and violence is one of the big problems of toxic relationships, and can be expressed through gender violence and harassment, which is very common among young people.

8. They don’t respect limits

Toxic people have difficulty respecting boundaries. This is due to different factors, such as the need to control or the lack of empathy and understanding towards others. Some typical boundary-crossing behaviors are:

Breaking into personal space and not respecting privacy. Demanding attention and time without taking into account the needs and desires of others. Ignoring the limits and needs of others. Manipulating behavior. Not respecting opinions, feelings and beliefs.

Let’s not fool ourselves. Where this type of personality lives, nothing prospers. Where these tricks are practiced, no one will feel happiness or be able to achieve any goal. The cost of this kind of behavior can be immense, whether it is a close family member or our partner.

9. They are emotionally dependent

The way emotionally dependent people relate can have a negative impact on the lives of others, making them feel overwhelmed and exhausted by toxic emotional demands. This can result in loss of personal space. Additionally, they may feel pressured and responsible for meeting the toxic person’s emotional needs. It is worth clarifying that not all toxics have this trait.

How to act in front of a toxic person?

Dealing with these issues can be difficult and challenging, but it is important that you take steps to protect your emotional and mental health. Here are some strategies you can use:

Set limits: Create barriers in your relationship with the person so that it does not alter your emotional stability. You can limit the time you spend with her, the topics of conversation you are willing or unwilling to touch on, etc. Reflect on what you are not willing to allow or negotiateso you can defend your limits.Maintain peace of mind: Even if it is difficult to do so, try to remain calm in the face of their behavior, so you can avoid unnecessary conflicts without losing your stability.Speak assertively and firmly: With that you will be able to communicate what you feel and reaffirm your rights without disrespecting the other person. Before talk, Take some time to identify what you want to say, what boundary you are going to defend, and how you will do it.Avoid blame: Toxic people often try to blame you for their problems and embarrass you in public. Therefore, it is essential that you remember that you are not responsible for their dysfunctional behaviors.Take distance from the toxic person: If the relationship is unbearable and reduces your quality of life, stay away, this way you will take care of and preserve your mental health. Your well-being comes first.Find support: The support of a mental health professional can help you deal with the stress and anxiety associated with interacting with that person.

You may need different coping strategies and resources because every situation, person and relationship is different. Therefore, we reiterate the need for you to consult a professional.

Conclusion

People are social animals that we need interaction for our well-being. However, sometimes these relationships harm us, especially when we interact with toxic people.

Therefore, it is essential to recognize the characteristics of these individuals to avoid having emotional ties with them. If the relationship is unavoidable, it is crucial to set boundaries and seek professional support to handle these situations effectively.

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