There are days when I need a hug but I don’t want to see anyone.

There are days like this: out of tune, strange and contradictory. These are times when we need the warmth of a hug and that warm skin that gives us affection and closeness. However, and almost at the same time, we feel like escaping to a private corner where no one sees us, where we can think in silence with solitude as our only companion.

What’s happening to us? Is something wrong with us if we experience this type of situation or emotional state on more than one occasion? The answer is no. There is no need to see pathological states at specific moments that in reality are completely normal. Now, the problem would arise when this state becomes chronic.

On the other hand, it should be noted that These types of emotional contradictions arise on multiple occasions for the most varied reasons. Sometimes they are due to small hormonal fluctuations, or even the change of season, where the adhesion potential of serotonin decreases and we consequently experience small alterations in mood.

However, one of the most common origins is in our own environment and in the way we manage and face many everyday situations. Because the world and human relationships are also very contradictory, chaotic and even capricious.

There are mornings when everything shines with the color of hope, but when the afternoon arrives, disappointment arises. and certainties collapse one after another. How can we better face these dissonances and these ups and downs, both external and internal? Next, we will talk to you about it.

Learn to live with contradiction

We would all like to live in a world of certainties. Of firm feelings, of precise logic and where ambiguity had no place. However, we must be clear: the world, society and even ourselves, with our complex emotional world, are dissonant and changing.

Let’s learn to accept this type of contradictions, both those of others and our own.. There will be days when, in fact, everything happens perfectly and there will be times when it seems that every line is crooked and where hope does not even appear under the stones.

We will feel alone, hurt and even full of anger in the face of such frustration, but at the same time in need of a hug, comfort and closeness. Let us make an effort to live with both complexity and uncertainty.

We must accept normally that nothing is completely certain, that life is cycles, that Relationships change and even we ourselves change too. in our needs and priorities. It will be a way to break the spell of discomfort.

Because whoever becomes obsessed and clings to the need for eternal permanence suffers. Because those who do not accept the change, the loss or even the challenge that comes knocking at their door risk stopping growing as a person.

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Those days when I need a hug as much as I need to be alone

We have to admit it, There is no worse feeling than being angry with the world, but at the same time needing the most basic love., purer and closer. Experiencing this sensation, no matter how curious it may seem to us, is something completely normal, a reality that we will experience on multiple occasions.

Igor Grossmann, professor in the psychology department at the University of Waterloo, Canada, explains that These moments of emotional contradiction can actually be very productive.. They will be for one essential aspect: they can help us see a given situation from multiple perspectives.

However, if we do not adequately manage this wheel of conflicting emotions and allow it to become a constant in our lives, we run the risk of developing depression. Let’s learn to break down and analyze these emotions to get the best out of them.. We explain how.

Learn to manage emotional contradiction

The first step to resolving the tangle of our little emotional chaos is to proceed to acceptance. Now, accepting is far from surrendering to suffering. It is recognizing what is happening to us in a realistic, sincere, brave and sensitive way.

Put under the microscope of your consciousness each reality that makes up the puzzle of your discomfort. “I feel anger because they have disappointed me”, “I feel afraid because I don’t know which direction to take”, “I wish that person would understand what is happening to me”…

The second step has to do with the need to provide productive and effective responses.. To do this, we must invest some courage, a lot of ingenuity and a high will in this process. “If I want that person to understand what is happening to me, I must tell them.” “If they have disappointed me, if they have hurt me, I must turn the page and meet new people, change scenes.”

The last step in this emotional self-management strategy is perhaps the most important. We speak, without a doubt, that it is necessary to control limiting beliefsintrusive thoughts, negative obsessions and that psychological artillery with which we sabotage ourselves.

We all deserve a hug from time to time, a hug that protects us. But, above all, we have the obligation to take care of ourselves as precious beings, as treasures of our own universes.

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