The 7 clues that selfishness leaves

If you look at the last week, or just today, I’m sure you remember a time when you did something for someone.. Something that has meant a personal cost to you, whether in time, money or other types of resources. Maybe you also remember a time when You have rejected this request because you considered that this cost was too high.

Infinite times I have asked myself the question of “Am I selfish if I do or don’t do such a thing?”. This question arises when someone makes a reasonable request and we have to consider whether we agree or not. When access involves a cost, or when we think of ways to help that may or may not be excessive for the responsibility we have. Surely you can think of more situations in which you have asked yourself that question and often the answer is not simple.

7 traits of selfish behaviors

Therefore, I bring you these 8 traits that can help you on the path to discovering selfish behaviors, both your own and those of others. When they are constantly reproduced we can say that they are characteristic of people with excess ego:

1. They do not show their weaknesses and vulnerabilities

A common and selfish reason for not helping is the fear of showing weakness, of trying and being exposed by feeling that our action is not really of much use. The person thinks that by lending a hand to the person who needs it, they are showing weakness and inner insecurity.

They will let go of the true belief that All people have weaknesses that make us human, necessary to learn and evolve.

2. They do not accept constructive criticism

People with a selfish attitude hold the thought that their environment tries to belittle their work and potential. In this way, they will try at all costs not to recognize constructive criticism. They often defend themselves with irony and it is very difficult for them to recognize that they are wrong.

3. They consider that they deserve everything

People in a selfish attitude are characterized by be inconsistent when it comes to following your goals. We could say that they change them continuously and demand that each of their occurrences be valued and taken into account in the same way as that of the person who already has a long career.

They may think that the success He will always be on their side just because, no matter who they have to get out of their way to achieve it.

4. They don’t listen to those who disagree with them

Selfish people perceive those who are mature and intelligent as enemies.since they are capable of respecting and listening to other people’s opinions.

Listening and learning from other opinions is a good opportunity to broaden your horizons and grow.. Select what you want to keep but don’t stop listening, don’t ignore why you fear or turn your back on the world.

5. They criticize behind the backs of others

People with a selfish attitude prefer easy and behind-the-back criticism. Deep down they fear that they are not right and they do it from a distance so that reality cannot spoil their idea of ​​how they have drawn the world in their head.

They need to believe, for example, that all people who are poor are poor because they do not want to work and prefer to live on the streets or because they do not have enough willpower and perseverance to train. By holding these explanations they can mentally separate themselves from people who live in precarious conditions, discarding the idea that one day a stroke of bad fortune could take them to the same place.

Deep down they fear for their crystal palace…

6. They magnify their achievements

One of the most important and notable shortcomings of a person with a selfish attitude has to do with the lack of humility.. The modesty It is a precious and human virtue necessary to grow as human beings and sociable people with our environment. The Self-centered people will only cover this personal potential by seeking to highlight and magnify their achievements.

They will take on more responsibility than they are entitled to when the result has been a success and they will look for the emergency exit when the project has not ended well. On the other hand, you can count on them to sail, as long as the wind is in your favor.

7. They are afraid to take risks

Panic, terror. Linking to the previous point, they do not consider failure because they are never exposed to it. Of course, they do not hesitate to criticize harshly and severely when others do not achieve what they want. They are the first ones who are going to tell you, if you already saw it coming…

Within my own personal growth, I was able to witness some of the above traits and when you realize this, that you are not taking responsibility for your actions and you begin to see the light of maturity…

Egoism from Buddhist psychology

In Buddhism selfishness comes from a excessive clinging to the Self/Ego. The Self would be our identity, what we are from the moment we are born until the present moment. The more we feel identified with this Self, we will have a more selfish attitude because we will only act looking for that which benefits only us.

Buddhist teachers, such as Lama Rinchen Gyaltsenthey assure that everything is changing, therefore the I toon. That is, if we accept that everything changes, we will detach ourselves from the Self and the world will stop revolving around us. There is no point in clinging to a single identity when everything around us changes, including us. Those with more clinging to a static Self will be the ones who present more selfish behaviors and at the same time will tolerate changes less well.

Thus, according to Buddhism, the key to stopping being selfish would be detaching ourselves from the Self. In this way we downplay ourselves and begin to take others into account more.