The sandwich technique

Communication is a matter as crucial as it is delicate in all human interaction. Not all of us innately have the ability to transmit what we want effectively.. For many of us, it is common to fall into misunderstandings and conflicts, which is why the sandwich technique can be a useful tool.

We all know someone who expresses their ideas and disagreements in a natural, fluid and elegant way. His opinions are always well received despite contradicting his interlocutor. Well then, Although we do not all naturally have the same communication skills, these can be worked on.

The importance of assertiveness

For it, The first step is to be aware that it is our right to share our opinions and personal positions. And that it is possible to do it without harming or hurting the other. Hostile and aggressive communication is as inadequate as an inability to refuse anything they ask of us.

Many people find it really difficult to say “no.”, set limits or defend your own needs. They fear generating a conflict and therefore prefer to act incoherently with what they feel, generating emotional discomfort.

However, it is not advisable to place ourselves at the opposite pole either. Defending our point of view will never mean hurting or disrespecting others.. Ignoring the wishes and feelings of our interlocutor is not the right path. That is, threat and manipulation are not valid strategies when it comes to relationships.

The key, therefore, lies in taking into account both our point of view and that of the other person.. Express ourselves in a firm but respectful way, so that communication is satisfactory for both parties. It is in this task where the sandwich technique can help us.

The sandwich technique

This is a technique that helps us express criticism or negative feedback without it being received badly by the other person. We all tend to get defensive when we hear something we don’t like, so this technique prepares the ground for the person to adopt a positive predisposition. To achieve this, use a precise sequence:

Give sincere praise about the other person. This must be expressed clearly and concisely and must be a true compliment.Communicate criticism or rejection. In this case we must develop and explain the negative information we wish to convey.End with a positive message or proposal

As we can see, sensitive information that may be unpleasant for the other person is encapsulated between two positive messages. In this way, the negative tone is softened and the person’s willingness to listen to and accept our information is facilitated. Let’s look at some examples.

The sandwich technique to express a negative

Let’s imagine that a friend asks us to accompany him to a concert. On the one hand, we do not like the musical group or the atmosphere of the concerts at all and we do not want to go. On the other hand, We are reluctant to refuse for fear that our friend will take it badly.. We can use the sandwich technique to facilitate communication:

Thanks for telling me about the concertwhenever we go out together I have a lot of fun. However, I don’t like that group and you know that the atmosphere at concerts overwhelms me a lot, so I don’t feel like going.But I’m sure you’ll find someone to accompany you.have you asked…?

The sandwich technique to ask for a change in behavior

Let’s say that We want to tell our partner that we don’t like the tone he or she uses when we argue. about something. This technique can help us avoid generating a new conflict.

You know how much I love you and how important you are to me. However, When we argue you raise your voice at me and I don’t like that at allso I ask you to please talk things over in a more respectful tone. Although I appreciate that you have the confidence to tell me what you don’t like.I think that’s good in a couple.

Recommendations for applying the sandwich technique

Some key points to keep in mind when you want to apply this technique are:

Be specific. Make sure the compliment is not ambiguous or unclear. Otherwise, the other person might feel that your feedback doesn’t apply to them. Be honest. Do not praise the other for commitment, as it may seem false. Find something that you really feel the other person did well to bring up. Offer constructive criticism. The goal is not to simply tell the other what they are doing wrong. Constructive criticism means that you also provide some ideas for improvement. Tell him what he is doing wrong and how he can fix it. Be direct. Try to get straight to the point. After providing a positive affirmation, offer feedback clearly and directly. Be brief. Don’t beat around the bush. Your statement should be direct and brief. When offering sandwich feedback, keep it brief so your message is easily understood. Provide clear advice. The goal of providing feedback is to help the other person succeed. Avoid telling him what you need him to do in vague terms. Instead, let him know what specific goals he needs to achieve. Offer specific suggestions. Avoid unclear suggestions to improve the other’s behavior. Phrases like “You need to improve” are not very useful. Instead, talk about the issue itself that needs to change. Offer your feedback in a timely manner. Try to provide feedback when it is still useful. If you wait until you are completely dissatisfied, there may not be much time to salvage the situation. Address problems as soon as you notice them.

As we see, The sandwich technique is a very simple tool to put into practice, but it can be very effective. In all communication with others we must remember how important their rights are as well as ours. That we can express ourselves freely but without hurting or harming anyone.

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