You can fall in love with anyone

Love and affection are very basic aspects of human nature and, as such, are unpredictable. We explore the reasons why the person we fall in love with is not chosen.

“Falling in love is like jumping off a cliff. Your brain screams that this is not a good idea and that pain and damage will inevitably come to you. But your heart believes it can rise, glide and fly.”

-Marie Coulson-

We fall in love completely unconsciously, intuitively. It is not necessary for us to carry out complex mathematical operations, nor lists the arguments for and against, for someone to take our hearts.

Our intuition is trained so that we don’t think too much about whether we like someone or not, so that we make a quick decision. That’s why, we know subconsciously that we are attracted to someone or that we could fall in love with someone.

36 questions to make you fall in love

The psychologist Arthur Aron, from New York University, in 1997 developed a 36-question test with which he stated that We can fall in love with a stranger in 45 minutes, generating intimacy.

The Arthur Aron test came to light again on January 9, 2015, because Mandy Len Catron published an article in The New York Times, in which He told how he had fallen in love with the 36 question test by Aron.

Aron sought to create intimacy between strangers and conducted a study among several people to discover the questions that could make us fall in love with a person we do not know.

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Finally, Aron chose several heterosexual couples to answer the questions and found that people reported that they had achieved great intimacy in each couple. He completed the test by requiring the couple to look into each other’s eyes for 4 minutes.

Why do we fall in love with a certain person?

When we fall in love with one person and not another, We act based on our intuition. We understand that we like that person without needing to resort to logic.

We simply feel a sensation that makes us see clearly that it is that person and not another, that we like. This intuition depends on two fundamental factors, one psychological and the other chemical.

The belief system is the psychological factor that makes us choose a certain person. Generally, we look for people with similar tastes, with ways of seeing life that are similar to ours. Sometimes we unconsciously seek out people who look like family members or friends whose qualities we admire.

We fall in love with someone who is usually around us and the moment we are in has a lot of influence, that is, We have to be willing to fall in love for it to happen.

“The meeting of two people is like the contact of two chemical substances: if there is a reaction, both are transformed.”

-Carl Jung-

But Our attraction to a person is also a matter of chemistry. The chemistry of love is made up of all the hormonal and neurotransmitter processes that are triggered when two people come into physical contact.

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Helen Fisher, researcher at the Department of Anthropology at Rutgers University, USA, maintains that men fall in love faster than women.

Fisher states that based on their research they discovered that In men there is greater activity in a part of the brain associated with visual stimuli. In this sense, women have long tried to please men aesthetically.

However In women, greater activity was detected in three different areas, related to memory and the ability to remember.. To know if a man could be a good father or a good husband, a woman had to remember how she had behaved, what she had said etc.

Why can we fall in love with anyone?

Aron actually created the 36-question test to prove that intimacy could be created between two strangers in 45 minutes.

Each couple must alternately ask themselves all the questions of the test, which are divided into 3 groups and are increasingly more intimate. In the final phase of the test there are questions such as:

When was the last time you cried in front of another person? What about you alone? Tell your partner something you already like about him or her. Share a personal problem and ask your partner for advice on how he or she would handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you chose.

The experiment consists of answering the questions and that complicity is generated with the other person, gradually. These are questions that are becoming more and more personal, so We are going to get to know another person in a deep way in a short time.

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Of that intimate and deep knowledge may arise necessary intimacy that leads us to fall in love.

It seems like an accelerated way of falling in love, but it really enhances the specific aspect that makes us connect with one person and not with another: intimacy. AND intimacy can lead us to love.