The right person is the one who wants you as much as you want her

As we mature, we make more sensible choices. We harden our ideologies and look for those who often reinforce our opinions, and do not add divergence or confrontation. To some extent, this can be mere compatibility of interests, but it can also be sheer cowardice. Not always what we judge as the right person for us, in fact, is.

We are constantly changing, fighting internal battles to recognize ourselves every day. Sometimes the mirror does not reflect what we see, we get desperate and seek more of ourselves beyond what the eye can see. Maybe you don’t realize this in the people around you because, like you, each one of them tries to camouflage their pain with hysterical laughter and soft, prolonged hugs.

If, in a relationship, one of the two asks for time, the other must respect it. If both are not willing to resolve conflicts together, it is worthless to try, even if persistent, on one. Often, a brief pause in a story works as a watershed in which you realize what you truly miss and what you worry about for nothing. For example, when it’s nostalgia and when it’s customary, when it’s drama and when it’s pain, when it’s attachment and when it’s affection.

If the two aren’t on the same page, it’s not related. If someone doesn’t respect the requested time (even if they don’t see reasons for it to happen), that person is being an obstacle for both of them to evolve, because no matter how much someone’s good will is to insist, talk, try to solve things , as long as one doesn’t want to, isn’t willing and doesn’t think the same way, they won’t reach a settlement of accounts.

Sometimes we have to give up what we think is right for us for what we think is right for both of us. This is normal. Love is complacent, but above all, empathetic. If we limit our ability to understand the needs of others, we become selfish, and sometimes even proud. We close our eyes to the infinite that fills us inside, when in fact we should strive to see the values ​​that go hand in hand with our perspectives, plans and ambitions for a future together.

Tell me a couple who, just because they liked each other too much, remained in harmony for a long time? Everything works out for a while, but for a lifetime, a story, and especially “forever”, the goal changes. If we don’t stop to think about where we’re going, we won’t enjoy the walk.

Any place is good for those who don’t know what they want. The right person is nothing more and nothing less than the one who is willing to make things work. She doesn’t have a stereotype of prince charming, or princess, and maybe she can’t even follow the rules of table etiquette.

It’s that person who will say some silly things that make you mad at one time or another, but then go on to do something that makes you feel good. She’s the one who will make mistakes, just like you, and won’t always face her mistake head on, but she’ll care enough to try to fix it. In fact, it’s that person who cares about you, your wishes, your plans and, above all, cares about being included in them, in your life.

The right person is nothing special, you know? Those who seek a divine sign of her presence will let her go unnoticed, because she also needs the other to want her to the point of understanding her in her mistakes and affections. So if you want good advice, don’t demand irreducible perfection for yourself.

It’s not how much we achieve that determines our strength, but how much we get back up after failure. We are pieces that fit your flaws to make up the right of a whole heart. Let the time given be out of respect, not fear. May all the lack be of longing, not comfort. May every fresh start be for love, not lack. May every period be a comma in a story that turns conflicts into ellipsis, not the end.

Samantha Silvany

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Here, where time has no hours