The main obstacles at the beginning of a relationship

The beginning of a relationship is never easy. Challenges, disagreements and some disappointment always arise. This is inevitable and very common. It is an almost normative process where we get to know ourselves and readjust expectations, goals, hobbies and customs. At the end of the day, we are trying to fit our pieces together so that the corners of each one do not dig into either of them.

Thus, great experts on the subject such as John M. Gottman tell us that nothing is as necessary as facing these first obstacles. Dealing with conflict, difference or contradiction is a way to know ourselves much better and to establish adequate learning about relationships.

Overcoming these bumps allows us to continue building the relationship.. Because it is an adaptation process, we are going to have to accept the complications, and in some cases be patient to overcome them. This is inevitably part of the process of discovery and re-discovery of the person with whom we have started a relationship.

Learning to communicate, key to the beginning of a relationship

Communicating effectively is one of the main challenges for the beginning of a relationship.. For this daily dialogue to be healthy, we must learn to express what we need. What’s more, studies such as the one carried out at the University of Georgia show us that achieving good communication guarantees the stability of that bond.

A person who has been with us for a long time has probably already become an expert in interpreting our non-verbal language. However, a new partner without this background will have an easier time if we propose open communication instead of encrypted one.

Communication can often be clouded by misunderstandings and interpretations that we make on the fly and almost automatically.. To overcome this, a good idea is to always ask before interpreting and above all to invest all our attention in listening when they speak to us.

Learning to communicate as a couple will be a challenge that you will have to go through sooner or later.. If we do not learn to do it, the relationship is destined to fail. It is a basic pillar for the proper functioning of the couple’s relationship, so it cannot be neglected.

Adjust to reality

Another key element in the beginning of a relationship is to take care of high expectations. Idealization is a component closely related to falling in love.

Therefore, it is almost inevitable to pay more attention to the good things about our partner when we start the relationship. However, We must try to keep our feet on the ground so that our expectations Don’t stray too far from who the other person really is.

We must know that, although our partner has many good aspects, there will also be many others that we do not like.. After all, acceptance is where true love appears, when we are prepared to see the other person as they are, without trying to change them.

Try to fill the void

The couple is not there to meet our expectations, nor to fill our inner emptiness.. Looking for someone so we don’t feel alone and to forget past experiences with other couples is the first rowing stroke so that the relationship does not come to fruition. We have to fill the gaps, although others can contribute to making them more or less rich in content.

What’s more, studies on couples therapy such as the one carried out at the University of Shiran, Iran, tell us that it is necessary to work on our unresolved emotions to better face the relationship.

We may not be okay with ourselves, but we cannot wait for the other person to resolve our conflict., and that it gives us the peace and security that we need in our lives. No one can do your job to resolve your internal conflicts, not even your partner.

A healthy relationship consists of being with the other person to share who we are, and not out of the need to fill our voids.. If we flee from loneliness, we will make the mistake of not learning to be with ourselves.

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