Fleeing is not the answer

Running away may seem like a way to feel safe and get away from what hurts us, but… is it the solution?

Thinking about escape is often a way for everyone to feel safe somewhere else. Wanting to get away from what hurts us, overwhelms us and corners us inside is a desire that can be quite common in us. However, if you identify with it, you will know very well that running away was never the solution.

The song says it, Escape is not the answer since whenever we want to escape we do it from something or someone, and either of the two things always comes with us wherever we go. If it is something that has happened to us, we will need to get over it. If what has happened to us is someone, we will need to know what we can be for ourselves.

Recognizing that you want to flee is brave

A Spanish poet says that he who feels fear can never be a coward because to recognize it is to want to face it.: Fears, dizzying changes or disappointments make us feel cowardly, insecure and weak. Wanting to escape, recognizing it, is the first step to moving forward.

“Do not call someone who is afraid a coward,
just hug him and tell him that,
the opposite of everything,
Monsters exist until you name them:
“Only the brave do it.”

So You, who have ever felt like you wanted to leave and disappear into the world, are brave. You have begun to face the problem and you will soon realize that postponing it, ignoring it and running away from it will only postpone directly confronting what hurts.

The moment you realize that you want to leave something behind and go somewhere else, you realize that You are not looking to get away from the place where you are, but from the memories that place has.. However, you will learn that memories go with you and soak up the cities where you are. You can’t run away from yourself, and if you try to run away from someone it’s because only you are left in that relationship.

Running away from the problem is a race you will never win

Perhaps you may be thinking that many times postponing confrontation also helps us take a breath and change perspective, but then it stops being an escape and becomes a period of reflection and survival: We will have to return to where we want to leave and do what we had not done.

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In fact, the normal thing is that, when the escape is from something external, we don’t really need it: we overcome the problem without further complications. What is really difficult is the escape from the ghosts that we have inside. We will never win over these ghosts if we don’t stand up to them and give them a name.

Many times we do not flee to get away, but to endure, to gain time that makes us stronger and greater than the fear and pain we have.

The emotional shock that an escape can bring

If we run away to endure, after that we will never be the same as we were. That is, the emotions we feel define us and in those moments when the emotions we have are very strong, we test ourselves. Getting rid of hard feelings and feeling better has, in addition to its causes, its consequences.

“And once the storm is over, you won’t remember how you did it, how you survived. You won’t even be sure if the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of that storm, you will not be the same person who entered it. “That’s what this storm is about.”

– Haruki Murakami

After the storm we will have learned, changed and experienced. Flight will not have been the answer, but how we have faced that desire to flee, because we can never really run away. Other places may help us regain our happiness, but the place alone does not change anything.

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What is useful is to make the maximum effort to get out of where we are., even if that means the biggest emotional shock of our lives. It helps to stand up to pain and look for what surrounds us that makes us cling to happiness. There is always something or someone that is not going to let us stop, that is not going to let us run away, but rather fight with all our strength.