The insufferable need to always be right

There are people like that, professional opinionators, minds obsessed with always be right. They are profiles that have a very big ego and very little empathy. Furthermore, they are specialists in raising continuous disputes, skilled artisans in destabilizing the harmony of any context.

Wanting to be right and prove that we are right is something that satisfies us all, we cannot deny it. It is a booster for self-esteem and a way to rebalance our cognitive dissonances. However, most of us understand that there are limits. We know that constructive attitudes are important. Also, a humble vision and an empathetic heart capable of appreciating and respecting other people’s approaches.

However, one of the great evils of humanity continues to be that unbearable need for always be right. “My truth is the only truth and yours is not valid” raises the mental palace of many people and even certain organizations, political groups or countries that like to sell us their ideas as moralizing pamphlets.

Now, we must be aware that it is something serious. Because Those who obsess over always being right end up suffering side effects. For example, isolation and loss of health. We must be able to connect with others, be sensitive, respectful and skilled in creating more harmonious environments.

Two men in a boat: the story of blindness, fear and pride

Thich Nhat Hanh, also known as “Thay” (“teacher” in Vietnamese) He is a Zen teacher, poet and a great activist for peace. He has more than 100 books published and was nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King.

Among the many stories that Master Thay usually leaves us, there is one that gives us a good example of the insufferable need of human beings to be right. The story begins on an ordinary morning in a region of Vietnam.. It was the decade of the 60s and the war context was spreading everywhere. Even in all those lands that were previously calm, serene and marked by the routines of their people.

That day two old fishermen were sailing upriver when suddenlythey saw a boat heading towards them downriver. One of the old men wanted to row towards the shore thinking that the enemy was on that boat. The other old man began to shout loudly, raising his oar, convinced that he was a gullible and unskilled fisherman.

The two fishermen began to argue with each other like children in a schoolyard. Moments later, the boat that was going downstream hit them completely, throwing them into the water. The old people clung to the driftwood discovering that the other boat was empty. Neither of them were right. The real enemy was in his minds, in minds that were too stubborn. In addition to eyes that no longer had the visual acuity of yesteryear.

Beliefs are our possessions

People are true belief machines. We internalize them and assume them as mental programs that we repeat to ourselves over and over again. Finally, we internalize them and they become part of our being. In fact, Our ego is a mosaic of varied and ironclad beliefs, those for which more than one does not hesitate to lose friends in order to always be right..

On the other hand, it is worth remembering that We all have the full right to have our own opinions, our truths. and our predilections, those that we have discovered over time and that identify and define us so much. However, be careful, because none of these dimensions should “kidnap” us to the point of throwing us into that dungeon of “my truth is the only truth that counts.”

There are those who live immersed in an internal dialogue that, like a mantra, repeats over and over again that their beliefs are the best, that their approaches are immovable and that their truth is a star of inviolable wisdom. Think this way It forces them to have to go through life looking for people and situations that validate their beliefs., and the “truths” of those atomic and restricted worlds where nothing should be questioned. The consequences of living with this type of mental approach are usually serious and almost irremediable.

The desperate need to always be right and its consequences

The world is not black and white. Life and people find their maximum beauty and expression in diversity, in varied approaches.in the different perspectives of thought to which, always be receptive to learn, grow and advance.

Adhering to a single thought and the imposition of a universal truth is to go against the essence of humanity, and even the very exercise of individual freedom. It is not legal, it is not logical and it is not healthy either. James C. Coyne (1976), writer, psychologist and professor emeritus of the school of psychiatry at the University of Pennsylvania states that The need to always be right is a modern evil capable of affecting our physical and emotional health.

According to a study carried out at the University of Bradford (United Kingdom), about 60% of people with this type of profile suffer from ulcers, high levels of stress and dysfunctional relationships with their family. Furthermore, and if that were not enough, they are people who alter the coexistence of any environment in which they move.

Always be right: What and for what?

To conclude, something we all know is that Our daily life is like a flow where several and complex currents intersect.. We all go in our own boats, either upriver or downriver. Instead of insisting on always maintaining the same direction, let’s learn to look up so as not to collide with each other.

Let us allow the passage, let us create a sea of ​​minds capable of connecting with each other to flow in freedom and harmony. After all We all seek the same destiny, which is none other than happiness. So let’s build it based on respect, empathy and an authentic sense of coexistence.

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