The emotional voids

Surely you have heard the expression “emotional deficiencies” occasionally. It is a widely used expression that describes specific emotional states, which encompass certain attitudes and behaviors. Rather than talking about shortcomings, it is more accurate to talk about emotional voids. These metaphorical gaps are common, usually having more influence when they occur in childhood.

From Psychology, we use metaphors to try to describe phenomena that are complex. Not all metaphors are equally beneficial. Emotional voids do make up one of the metaphors that helps more than hinders.

The vacuum, in this case, would not be described as a space with a pressure below atmospheric, as described by Physics through the American Vacuum Society. Rather, the meaning of this void is more along the lines of describing a space that tends to be filled. That is to say, Each void will generate the need to be filled by the person who has it.

With which, Emotional voids are spaces in our being that tend to be filled. And we call them emotional because their creation and filling occur on the emotional level. Thus, we all have our voids, and these change in size according to what happens – and happened – in our lives.

Why do we have them?

There may be people who think that they are necessarily the product of some disorder or problem. Nothing is further from reality. Most emotional voids arise from constant adaptation to the environment.

Life is change, and the changes that occur at the level of relationships alter our voids. Whether creating voids, enlarging existing ones or filling them totally or partially, our life experiences condition our emotional state.

What’s more, the gaps are related to the interactions we have, not only with others, but with ourselves. Self-esteem, but above all self-concept, are key so that these gaps affect us more or less.or we choose to fill them in a certain way.

How can they be filled?

Emotional voids generate, in turn, the need to be “filled.” Obviously, it is an emotional need. Thus, there are many ways to fill these gaps, but mainly, they are grouped into two:

Fill emotional voids through others

The gaps can be filled with an infinite number of elements, such as attention, acceptance, mercy or a feeling of security.

One way to fill these ‘gaps’ is through searching for these elements in other people. That is to say, our emotional needs could be filled through acceptance or attention from other people. But, this way is not recommended.

If we get used to filling these voids through others, we will develop emotional dependencies in almost any relationship we have. Furthermore, if a relationship ends, our void will have to be filled again by another person or people.

Fill emotional voids through ourselves

In a very different direction, these needs can be met through the same elements mentioned above, only here we will not look for them in other people, but in ourselves.

Thus, our voids can be filled through our own acceptance. And in this way We will not need anyone to fill that gap, because we can fill it ourselves.. Of course, this way of filling these gaps requires more time and more personal work.

Uses of this metaphor

The use of metaphors in psychology is very useful in many areas. If we refer to the present metaphor, there are several cases that can benefit from it. This can serve as a powerful tool of introspection in people who present or have presented emotional dependence and, above all, those who tend to present them.

In fact, the emotional voids They can be used in a more therapeutic setting, as a projective tool. Telling the patient how they would draw or describe their emptiness, how it is located, when it was last filled or when it was emptied, can help them become aware of these unconscious mechanisms that are generated in interactions.

Emotional voids are part of our being. More than denying them, It is worth observing what they are like, how we fill them and if there is anything we can do differently so that they do not deprive us of our happiness.

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