The delicate art of responding to praise

Responding gracefully to praise is not an easy art to master. Sometimes it will be the fear of looking arrogant that stops you, other times the idea of ​​not going too far so as not to seem ungrateful or simply to be modest… The point is that finding the exact point is not as simple as it seems. In fact, the easiest thing is to look bad.

While it is true that many people overdo it with compliments – after all, giving a compliment is another art mastered by a few – that does not justify that the person being praised does not know how to be grateful. Many times we feel so uncomfortable with the compliments or praise we are given and we feel so ashamed that by not knowing how to fit in and respond to the praise, we run the risk of truly looking ridiculous.

If you think about it carefully, in many cases, Because of downplaying ourselves and not appearing arrogant or exaggerated, we end up degrading, rejecting or detracting from the praise, flattery or gift received. We forget that what is expected of us is to be grateful, much more than to be modest. At the opposite extreme are those situations in which, in order to show our great gratitude, we go too modest, too funny, or we exaggerate beyond what is appropriate. Let’s dig deeper.

Why some people ignore or deflect praise

Praise can be accepted, ignored, deflected, and even denied. You can also react with self-criticism, you can discuss and negotiate. But why is it so difficult for us to choose to accept it? How is it possible that we implement a thousand and one strategies to reject it, ignore it and devalue ourselves? After all, we all like to be recognized for what we do or what we are.

Thus, some of the reasons why we find it difficult to fully accept praise are the following:

Fear of being seen as vain. This is the most common reason why people deflect or ignore praise. The problem that arises is that agreeing with someone’s praise is essentially praising yourself, which means being presumptuous.Need to restore balance. Since praise is a positive act, the individual may feel a psychological need to balance how he or she feels, either by withholding the praise or quickly returning the compliment.Desire to avoid debt. This concern implies that if someone does or says something nice as a compliment, then you are owed something equal in return and therefore you will be indebted to them in some way. Thus, by denying it, the feeling of debt disappears.Have low self-esteem. If someone says something good about us that we do not believe, we will be incredulous and sometimes we will be so brave that we will deny it. By not agreeing with this vision of ourselves, we will look for a way to confirm that this way of evaluating ourselves is defective and what we have been told is not correct.Inability to be assertive. The lack of assertiveness usually causes problems in accepting praise, and even more so in responding to it. Therefore, it is advisable to practice this social skill to improve our relationships.Suspect the motives. If we believe that some kind of interest is hidden behind the praise or that there is something more, our first reaction will be to reject it. Although it is true that this suspicion may be an impartial view of the circumstances.Desire to give an even better image. People sometimes use false modesty as a way to try to make themselves look better. Hence, sometimes, we do not give importance to the compliments that are given to us to offer that good image.

Accept praise

Before learning to appreciate praise with grace and elegance, you must learn to accept it wholeheartedly. There can be many bad intentions behind a compliment, it may lack sincerity, but in most cases they are issued with good intentions.

Whatever the intention, the fact is that people expect acceptance of praise. And this response must be done modestly – without feigning false modesty – and show gratitude. The problem is that, as we have said, most of the time people deflect or ignore praise, implying that this is what should be done.

However, just because this is a common reaction does not mean that it is appropriate, if only because not being grateful for praise usually denotes bad manners, in addition to not being a very intelligent attitude. In fact, In most cases, denying or deflecting praise means contradicting or even offending the other person.

How to respond to praise with grace and without false modesty

So how to accept praise without screwing up? The truth is that it is an art that does not take too long to master when you internalize some of the tips you have in the following sections.

1. Simply say “thank you”

The art of responding to praise is knowing how to say thank you sincerely and authentically. It’s that easy. You don’t need to justify anything, you don’t need to add anything. Whoever gives you a compliment only hopes that you accept it and thank them. In most cases, when you say thank you, you won’t need to say anything else.

2. Take care of your non-verbal language

Yes indeed, We cannot forget the importance of non-verbal language, especially the look. Looking at the person while you thank them, even while shaking their hand, if the opportunity arises, is essential. Sometimes a hug may be appropriate. Those gestures are often much more meaningful than anything you can say.

3. Recognize the part that doesn’t touch you

If the praise is the result of a collaborative effort, remember to recognize the contributions of the team or close people who usually remain in the shadows. Mentioning those who have helped you, who have inspired you and even who have supported you is a great way to recognize the value they have for you.

4. Don’t deny the compliment

In any case, avoid taglines that deny the compliment. Phrases like “it was nothing,” or “don’t worry about it,” or “it wasn’t a big deal” show false modesty and can be taken as a personal rejection. If you need to say more than thank you, find something positive to say.

5. Don’t return the compliment if it’s going to be forced.

You should also avoid acknowledging the praise by returning the compliment to the other person. Many people believe that responding to praise with praise is about being grateful, but it sounds forced and inauthentic.

6. Learn to differentiate compliments

It is true that some people use compliments as weapons instead of as a tool to be nice. In these cases, feel free to ignore them, but first train yourself to find out the hidden intentions behind the praise.

If you work hard to get where you are, if you strive to look good every day, Why reject the great feedback you get from others? You deserve it. In the end, the best work you can do to learn to receive compliments is to work on your own self-esteem.

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