The best people come without you looking for them

Sometimes, the best people, the most beautiful, appear suddenly and without you looking for them. They come to plant flowers in the garden of our sad days, they are there to be the echo of our laughter, the magnet of our complicities, our hobbies and passions. They are that lighthouse that never goes out, without contradictions, without pressure or double funds…

Neuropsychologists often remind us that Our brain is programmed to carry out pro-social behaviors. Actions such as altruism, helping others or the act of giving support are realities that we genetically consider as significant and important because they guarantee, ultimately, the survival of our species.

However, and here comes without a doubt the greatest dissonance or irony of humanity, Sometimes we act like real predators of our own fellow men.. We are not only referring to those most extreme behaviors that make the headlines in the daily news, we are talking above all about those very common actions that we have all experienced on some occasion and from which emerges what is so classic about “I want you to be happy, but not more than me.”
Sometimes altruism has hidden interests, we know this well. Other times people fail us, we also know that. Maybe because time changes us or because little by little the masks fall and we discover that behind that armor that fascinated us so much at the beginning there is nothing more than a being full of voids, multiple limitations and unfathomable selfishness.

Nonetheless, Among our rich and complex social fauna there are people who are not only worth it: they are worth joy. Finding them is an art always based on chance, but it also contains some dimensions that are worth addressing…

Good people are there, you just have to know how to see them.

What traits do these men and women have that can improve our lives? What are good people like, essentially? Well, we know that it is very common to use the well-known phrase of “My coworker is a bad person” or “My sister is a very good person.” These types of reductionist definitions are not always adequate, because human nature is much more complex than these absolute terms.

Most of us are on a continuum, where we can sometimes act more or less correctly; where we can be lightly judged as “bad people” just because we do not act as others want or expect. However, yes, There are a series of key factors or dimensions that can define these nobler profiles. and that ultimately they do represent that ideal of goodness that we all have in mind.

Being good means, above all, lack of egocentrism. It means identifying with others, feeling compassion, acting with selflessness and having that empathy that welcomes, which confers wise support and authentic closeness. At the same time, The good person is also one capable of seeing beyond the surface, beyond simple appearance.

On the other hand, and no less important, there is a factor that we cannot neglect: Those magical people will come into our lives only if we are receptive. They will if we are able to see them, to appreciate its influence, its art, its natural power of connection. Experts in social behavior reveal to us that people have reached a point where we focus more on bad qualities than on good ones.

This negativity bias is sometimes caused by one’s own discomfort, by one’s own frustration. or even by the memory of our failed relationships or disappointments. We become distrustful, and when distrust floats in our eyes and nests in our hearts, it will be very difficult to glimpse the warm light of those presences that are truly worth including in our lives.

Techniques to identify people who are worth (and joy)

In our daily lives, we all make quick readings about the people around us. Dr. Rick Hanson, well-known neuropsychologist and inveterate researcher on the “science of happiness,” explains to us that in order to connect more deeply with our peers and thus perceive that innate nobility that many hide within, We need to stop, slow down and be able to read positive intentions. and that authentic empathy that the most special people have.

Next, We give you some simple keys that can help you do that reading.:

Non-verbal language: empathy is often recognized by that face and those eyes that not only look, but observe, attend and know how to connect, making us feel comfortable, safe and valued.The second aspect is undoubtedly intuition itself. Our inner voice is the one who must always guide us on this path of discovery. It is she who contains the essence of our personality, the wisdom of our past experiences and that sixth sense that invites us to connect with certain people while avoiding others. Don’t hesitate to listen to that inner voice.The emotional energy. This dimension is as curious as it is intense, but even so, it is necessary to identify it in ourselves and analyze it. There are people who generate a certain type of emotional charge in us through their tone of voice, their look, their smiles.the way it communicates to us…

That feeling or emotional energy that some people generate in us is something that we must pay attention to and decipher (does it make me feel comfortable? Does it offer me calm and harmony? Can I really trust him/her?…). Sometimes, that connection is immediate, other times that attraction has another rhythm: It is more leisurely, slower but equally intense. It is like an interesting treasure that we discover every day and that generally tends to occur especially in introverted personalities.

Be that as it may, those special people who make our lives more beautiful, interesting and special are gifts that we all deserve and that, above all, we are obliged to take care of. Then let’s do, Let us always give the best version of ourselves to those special beings who give light to our daily lives.

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