The 6 pillars of self-esteem, according to Nathaniel Branden

The 6 pillars of self-esteem are a set of reflections by Nathaniel Branden that were captured in a book that bears that name. These are those aspects of life that need to be worked on and cultivated so that self-love is strengthened.

low self-esteem has important consequences for life. Sometimes, it manifests itself in the inappropriate choice of a partner, disorganization and frustration at work, dreams and goals that are never fulfilled, a self-destructive lifestyle, poor performance, dependence on other people’s opinions, etc. .

Nathaniel Branden provides some clues on where to start . However, knowing the pillars of self-esteem does not generate any change on its own, since it is also necessary to put into practice certain habits. That is, a change is needed at a cognitive level, but also an emotional and behavioral one.

Let’s see what those axes are on which we must work.

1. Live consciously

One of the basic pillars of self-esteem is based on the practice of increasing the degree of attention to the present. In other words, this means that it is important to be aware of our activities, thoughts, words, feelings and intentions.

In this sense, the most crucial thing is that you have a real intention to be honest with yourself. In particular, observe yourself carefully without trying to justify or explain what you perceive. Simply contemplate what is in you, as if you were doing it from the outside. Don’t judge yourself, take note to know yourself better.

2. Acceptance, one of the pillars of self-esteem

Observation and awareness about what one does often leads to the self-imposition of very severe punishments in people who lack self-love. That’s why, Another pillar of self-esteem is acceptance. That word sometimes gets a little nebulous, but Nathaniel Branden links it to three basic actions.

The first is the willingness to fully experience everything we feel, think, do, dream, etc. I mean, let us be as we arewithout interfering in it, but allowing everything to flowThe second action is to take one’s side, that is, not to fight internally. The previous actions are related to a third: being friends with ourselves. A friendship that manifests itself when we are compassionate with everything that arises from us. Avoid questioning or criticizing ourselves: simply accept.

3. Responsibility

No person is able to cultivate their self-esteem if they are not convinced that they are perfectly competent to achieve and live in a positive emotional state.. This faith is created and nourished when we admit that each of us is responsible for what he does, says, thinks, etc.

Being responsible means accepting the consequences of what you do or don’t do.. I can choose, for example, not to act on a problem, since I have every right. What I cannot do is try to blame others or life itself for the effects of my passivity.

4. Self-affirmation

Self-affirmation is closely related to respect and is another of the pillars of self-esteem. It has to do with respecting our own desires, needs and values. That is, you should not go over them to please others, either out of fear, or for some similar reason.

Self-assertion does not mean being belligerent or imposing. Rather, it means the attempt to stand up for oneself and the refusal to falsify who we are to please or not make others uncomfortable. It is cultivated little by little, being assertive.

5. Purpose

To feel appreciation for ourselves, we also have to feel like we live with purpose. This includes both global purposes (to be a better person, for example), and specific goals (earn more money, learn something, etc.).

It is important that we make aware of our purposes and goals, as well as the actions necessary to achieve them.. It helps a lot if we evaluate ourselves periodically to check if we are truly on track or not. It also helps to value each achievement we achieve. Living subject to chance destroys self-esteem.

6. Integrity

Integrity has to do with the coherence between our values ​​and our actions. Also between what we say and what we do. As the word itself indicates, integrity “integrates”, that is, it structures our personality and our behavior, making it more reasonable.

The lack of coherence between different vital fields usually leads to a large number of problems. The most serious is that We will give ourselves reasons to criticize ourselves and feel disgusted with who we are..

A person with low self-esteem tends to give up before trying, to lower his arms before taking the first blow. Against this framework, we have the possibility of nurturing our self-love every day and Branden’s pillars of self-esteem are a guide that can help us achieve this.

Final words

Nathaniel Branden teaches us with his book that well-being and personal satisfaction depend, in large part, on our own perception, decisions and attitudes. Self-esteem is a crucial factor in everyone’s life.because this way we can defend our values, decide what we believe is right and project ourselves into the future.

In addition to reading this book, the practice of mindfulness and meditation have demonstrated their positive effects on the way people act and perceive themselves, which leads them to address their problems in a better way and not stress as much when making decisions. Our advice is that we strengthen ourselves and educate ourselves on these issues so that we can live with the confidence that we are capable of facing whatever comes our way.

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