The 5 types of avoidance you have ever experienced

As children we spend a good part of our time avoiding countless situations, stimuli and experiences.. The world is a place full of threats and when one is small there are many things that make us afraid, ashamed or anxious. However, as we get older, we acquire coping strategies to deal with everything that generates uncertainty.

At the end of the day, that’s what being an adult means: managing our fears and not avoiding obligations to feel competent, secure in ourselves. Now, if there is one thing that is clear to us, it is that this rule of three is not always met. People often escape from difficult situations and complicated emotions.

“Not thinking so as not to suffer” and “not addressing so as not to experience discomfort” is a very recurring strategy in us. Thus, although it is true that avoidance reduces anxiety for a time, it is not a valid or recommended resource in the long term. The complicated thing is that many of us carry out more than one behavior of this caliber unconsciously.

How about we analyze them to become aware of them?

Many of us try to block thoughts and even memories in an unhealthy attempt to avoid suffering.

Types of avoidance you may be committing

Avoidance is our most common defense mechanism. Thanks to it, we save ourselves suffering and postpone tasks and situations that cause us discomfort. It is true that There are circumstances in which avoidance is reasonable and promotes our survival, as well as adaptive behaviors. An example of this is to avoid walking through unlit streets at night.

Now, a study from the University of Amsterdam, for example, suggests that Excessive avoidance limits our quality of life. The person who repeatedly avoids one or more circumstances, stimuli or experiences runs the risk of developing more than one mental disorder.

Conditions such as generalized anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, addictions or even eating disorder (ED) have avoidance as an underlying element. This forces us to a fact. It is necessary to perform an act of self-awareness and review our behavior in search of some of the most common types of avoidance. We analyze them.

1. Cognitive avoidance: not thinking so as not to suffer

“I’m not going to think about that now. Better to put those worries aside and focus on something else. “I’m going to focus only on the positive things and forget about the rest.” Who has not said one of these phrases to themselves at some point?

Indeed, Cognitive avoidance defines that daily effort to avoid, hide or not face what worries us. There are those who resort to self-deception to make themselves see that certain realities or problems do not exist. Dissociation, for example, understood as the mental disconnection from the present reality, so common in trauma, has this origin.

On the other hand, something common that people with anxiety show is feeding excessive or catastrophic thinking. Thinking the worst and falling into irrationality is an example of what can happen when we do not address what worries us.

2. Situational avoidance: I don’t want to expose myself to that situation

Among the most common types of avoidance is situational avoidance. We all know what it is because it is very possible that we have experienced it. Children who suffer from it suffer from it bullying and they don’t want to go to school. It is suffered by those who fear going to hospitals because they carry with them some uncomfortable memory of some intervention or personal loss. Also who hates getting on elevators.

Situational avoidance behaviors seek to keep us away from scenarios, people or circumstances that cause us distress. or the memory of a traumatic event. You feel identified?

3. Behavioral avoidance: I don’t want to do it!

As children we could avoid various circumstances with a sincere: I don’t want to! And indeed, sometimes we were triumphant by convincing our parents that we would not carry out certain actions. However, as we grow older, life becomes a little more complicated and many times we end up doing countless tasks reluctantly.

However, A very recurring fact is falling into procrastination, in postponing certain activities as much as possible. There are those who will describe this behavior as lazy and irresponsible. However, behind those who delay and do not carry out their obligations, for example, are anxiety and fear. This is also avoidant behavior.

Likewise, another example of this is escape, fleeing from that job interview, exam or oral presentation because it generates great anxiety.

4. Aggressive avoidance: looking for a means of escape from my frustration

Let’s go back to childhood again. When a 4 or 5 year old child feels frustrated, he or she sometimes reacts with tantrums. Instead of facing his emotions, he channels them through poorly adapted and even violent reactions. What if we told you that as you grow up, many people continue to adhere to these behavioral patterns?

That’s how it is. Aggressive avoidance is where a person projects their uncomfortable emotions onto others instead of addressing the source of their problems. An example of this is speaking badly to our partner when we have some difficulty at work.

Sometimes we eat compulsively, fleeing from our emotions and problems.

5. Emotional avoidance: I want to distract myself so as not to feel

Among the most common and problematic types of avoidance is emotional avoidance. In this case, what we often see is people who engage in compulsive or harmful behaviors to avoid or silence emotional distress. Something like this can range from something as common as spending hours on the cell phone, to falling into addictions or compulsive eating disorder.

These are situations in which a behavior acts as a cathartic mechanism to divert difficult emotions. Something that, sadly, is behind many mental health problems.

Constant flight needs therapy

Avoidance rarely works. However, if we see our life limited by this constant need to avoid discomfort, fear or anxiety, it is necessary to request specialized help. Avoiding what causes us discomfort only increases suffering and leads us to various psychological disorders.

In the context of psychological therapy we will learn appropriate coping skills to regain control of our lives, as well as well-being. Let’s not doubt it, change is possible.

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