The 5 stages in a rebound relationship and its emotional effects

Nobody has a good time after a breakup: neither those who break up, nor those who are rejected. It is normal, therefore, to look for ways to alleviate that pain; Many people find relief in starting something with another person. This is known as a rebound relationship and, in such a scenario, knowing the stages that occur, plus their effects on our emotionality, is key to managing it in a healthy way.

And yes, there are those who heal by starting another relationship. However, when this decision is made out of fear or the need for social acceptance, it only makes the breakup situation worse. Let’s, therefore, learn more about rebound relationships and their emotional effects.

What is a rebound relationship?

A rebound relationship is one that begins shortly (almost immediately) after a breakup. It is important to clarify that this decision is made hastily, without grieving the previous relationship.

Furthermore, rebound relationships have a compensatory component that cannot be ignored. They can arise from fear of loneliness, to try to pretend that the breakup did not have a negative emotional effect and even hurt the ex-partner. On other occasions, it is about easing the pain when starting a new relationship.

The rebound relationship is usually intense, conflictive and short-lived. This happens because the dynamics that are established are still colored by the previous bond, with habits that have not yet been abandoned and emotional reactions that have not been deactivated.

What are the stages in a rebound relationship?

Within the particularities of each case, it is possible to differentiate 5 stages of a rebound relationship. They occur chronologically and usually have significant characteristics that allow them to be identified without problems. We present them immediately.

1. Attraction

As soon as the relationship ends and the person will be attracted to another. Sometimes, this other individual is someone from the circles of friends and acquaintances with whom she shared an attraction at some point, even if it didn’t amount to anything more. It is also common to resort to matchmaking platforms.

At this stage, everything works well, as passion predominates, a feeling that was thought to be lost. This helps to offset the negative feelings typical of relational grief and to reaffirm polarized thoughts such as “I didn’t have the problem, but the other person.”

2. Privacy

In these relationships, the physical bond predominates over the emotional one and they rarely merge. The pace of the relationship takes on a fast and intense turnwhich tries to overcome the enormous presence that grief has in the life of someone who has just broken up.

3. Exhibition

In this passionate phase of the relationship you have the feeling that it is going from strength to strength; It is common to find that many people exhibit this happiness. Both in networks and word of mouth, it is evident how well the new relationship works, without forgetting to mention the previous one and, often, comparing the ex-partner with the current one.

4. Comparison

It is also common for this comparison to become the basis of the relationship. This is where wear and tear begins. Therefore, instead of creating new dynamics and learning from mistakes, the interaction is configured based on what was had before. In this scenario it is easy to fall into toxicity.

5. Disillusionment

All the factors seen add up and lead to the fifth of the stages in a rebound relationship: disillusionment. Since The emotional bond has not been strengthened and toxic dynamics are beginning to be detected, The conflict takes center stage and the end is reached.

Emotional effects of rebound relationships

Within these stages of the rebound relationship, several processes are set in motion, such as compensation, emotional dependence, display, defense mechanisms And a long etcetera. Therefore, the first clear effect is the emotional damage suffered by the 3 people: the ex-partner, the new company and the person who begins the relationship without going through their grief.

That is, emotional responsibility and acceptance are conspicuous by their absence. This new grief, added to the previous one, can exacerbate depressive and anxious processes, opening the door to pathology. It must be taken into account that in this hasty search, the ability to match is prioritized, not the establishment of long-term ties.

On the other hand, according to the study carried out for the magazine Sage Journals, People with anxious attachment are more likely to fall into rebound relationships. However, these would only worsen the feelings of abandonment and inability to be in a relationship typical of this problem.

A nail can pull out another nail, but with caution

The goal of this article is not to demonize those people who start a relationship shortly after ending another. It is not about establishing a mandatory mourning period, but to move through it in a healthy way. Some people find the necessary support in a new partner and this does not mean that they do not exercise emotional responsibility.

The most important thing is to accept and respect your own emotions and those of others, both positive and negative. In this sense, acceptance and commitment therapy has given good results when overcoming problematic breakups; So it is always good to consider going to a professional.

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