The 5 components of Emotional Intelligence

The components of Emotional Intelligence are five psychic arteries, five values ​​that offer us greater potential, security and self-knowledge to successfully manage the complexities of daily life. Daniel Goleman reminds us that we all carry an “emotional genius” within that must be “unlocked”, which must be given wings and tools to achieve well-being.

Today, there are very few people who have not yet heard of Emotional Intelligence. However, we could say almost without mistake that, Sometimes, there are those who limit themselves to using mere labels without yet understanding the practice.without capturing the true essence of this and many other psychological approaches and personal growth.

Practicing authentic Emotional Intelligence requires will, knowledge and openness. It is not enough to read a book or take a course, you need to be proactive, know and promote, feel and offer, understand and generate… Only in this way will we shape more empathetic, sensitive, creative and emotionally skilled environments.

To make it, It is essential to master the five components that make up Emotional Intelligence. In this way, little by little we will find that perfect balance between the mind that feels and the mind that thinks. And furthermore, we will become good managers of our emotional universes, thereby improving the quality of our relationships and professional aspirations.

The 5 components of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is not synonymous with happiness, it is not calm, nor is it optimism. We say this for a very clear reason: there are those who have a somewhat erroneous idea about this type of science of emotions. Mastering this area of ​​psychology will not instantly guarantee us success in life nor will it make us “smarter” or happier.

What Emotional Intelligence offers us are tools and skills with which to better resolve the complexities of our social contexts. It is a channel of self-knowledge and a transformative quality. Working on emotions daily and doing it well will allow us to be more solvent in the field of personal growth. Let’s see, therefore, what keys make it up.

1. Self-control

When a child is 4 or 5 years old, there is an area that is very difficult for them to master: self-control.. She will be frequently frustrated, unable to delay gratification, or hide her anger when her brother grabs the biggest slice of pizza or when she accidentally breaks a toy.

Younger children exhibit these behaviors because the brain areas related to impulse control and emotions are not yet fully mature. It is around the age of 7 when this type of behavior begins to establish itself with solvency, as long as, yes, they also guide us in this skill.

So, It is important to keep in mind that self-control is one of the most important components of Emotional Intelligence. Self-regulation, thinking before speaking or acting, the ability to reflect, as well as the ability to control our impulses are key to being more emotionally skilled.

Through self-control we regulate our emotional and affective responses, responding appropriately to life events, so that we can better adapt to the context. This component is based on the ability to control impulses and emotions assertively in order to not live manipulated by the most primary instincts.

How to improve self-control

Become aware of your thoughts and emotions. Learn to be tolerant of anguish and frustration. Perceive challenges as an opportunity for growth. Practice assertive communication. Accept your emotions. Modify your thought patterns and emotional responses to adverse events. Remember that it is not the events that affect you, but the interpretations you make of them.

2. Self-knowledge

Mark Twain said that helping a person get what they want can be easy, but the problem is that in this world almost no one knows exactly what they want. It is an irony, it is true, but few things are as complex as knowing ourselves in depth and then being able to act accordingly.

Even more, If it is difficult to be clear about our priorities at all times, it is more difficult to be aware of our emotions.. Sometimes, a certain emotional state conditions our behavior, our thoughts and our mood. Being aware of this, knowing what hurts us, where it hurts and the reason for that suffering, discomfort or contradiction will allow us to put into practice adequate emotional regulation and be much more competent in matters of Emotional Intelligence.

In addition, Self-knowledge also refers to the ability to identify one’s own strengths and weaknesses.. But it is not enough to just recognize what we are good at and what we are not, but to be comfortable with ourselves despite our flaws. Everyone who knows himself recognizes that he is not perfect, learns from his failures and tries to improve them. Beyond recognizing our emotions, strengths and weaknesses, self-knowledge should lead us to also be aware of the effect our actions, moods and emotions have on other people.

How to improve self-awareness

Ask for constructive comments about yourself, about the way you are, act and feel. Write a journal about how you react emotionally and cognitively to everyday life situations. Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Reflect on your sensations and experiences. Use a positive self-talk.

3. Self-motivation

Intrinsic motivation is the best engine for the mind and heart. It is the source of personal improvement and positive energy capable of giving us encouragement, even when what surrounds us or what reaches us is not satisfactory. That is why it refers to the will to achieve regardless of obstacles.

Through it we can direct our emotions towards a specific objective. It also gives us the encouragement to recover from setbacks, find solutions and get back on track towards our goals, being more persistent and energetic.

Those people who know how to motivate themselves usually see opportunities where others cannot and assume that all problems can be solved. In this way, they see obstacles as a learning opportunity and take advantage of these situations to take advantage of them.

Likewise, motivation urges the person to be better every day, to focus on what is important to deploy their resources and adapt their emotions to achieve the objectives they have set.

How to improve self-motivation

Avoid excessive extrinsic rewards.Celebrate your achievements.Set small, measurable goals.Challenge yourself to keep things interesting.Develop your intrinsic motivation.

4. Empathy

Empathy is another of the most relevant components of Emotional Intelligence. It is that link with which to improve relationships with others, that channel with which to connect with whoever is in front of us, but without ceasing to be us at any time.

It is important to clarify this last detail. Although we are often told that empathizing is being able to put ourselves in other people’s shoes, it is worth remembering that this wonderful ability will be of no use to us if we dilute ourselves in the other, if we limit ourselves to being just “emotional sponges.”

You have to know how to read emotions, you have to decipher gestures, nuances, tones of voice, but We must also maintain that wise and firm composure with which to respond accordingly, being the best help, the best facilitator.

How to improve empathy

Share your feelings with other people.Participate in a community project or volunteering that allows you to be in touch with other people’s lives.Practice loving-kindness meditation.Try to imagine yourself in other people’s shoes.

5. Social skills

Social skills are the perfect gear for our personal and professional development. Thus, one of the objectives inscribed in that exceptional science that is Emotional Intelligence is to make us aware that we must be “the best help” for ourselves and not our enemies. Because yes, sometimes we are.
We are our own enemies when we are not assertivewhen we don’t know how to communicate, when we don’t respect ourselves, when we lack patience, openness, compassion, positivity… All this and much more is what is contained in that toolbox called “social skills” and that we should all master. .

How to improve social skills

Pay attention to other people’s social skills. Make eye contact when talking. Actively listen to others. Show interest in the lives of others. Take care of your non-verbal language. Ask open-ended questions in conversations.

To conclude, although at first these five components of Emotional Intelligence may seem like differentiated areas with a series of exclusive dynamics in which to learn to be solvent, it must be said that this is not entirely the case. They are 5 pieces of a puzzle, they are 5 roots of the same tree. They are arteries that give life to that heart that lives in our brain and that allows us, ultimately, to feel more competent, happier.

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