The 3 most uncomfortable couple conversations

Sooner or later, we have to have them: either because an unimportant conversation leads to that point or because it is a topic that we want to clarify directly. They are the typical awkward couple conversations with which, If we are not a little skillful, we can open a cliff in the relationship.

Even in cases where the ideas are opposite and no one gives in, they can end it. Therefore, It is not a question of avoiding them, but of each one asking themselves what they want to convey. and know how to express it in the most convenient way. What are these uncomfortable couple conversations? And, how do we have to address them so that they don’t end up in a way that we don’t want?

The exes: the past always comes back

“I don’t understand what you saw in him/her.” “How could you be with someone like that?” These are some of the phrases that boyfriends end up resorting to when they talk about their previous relationships. Innocent perhaps, but with great power to open the box of thunder.

Therefore, so that these couple conversations do not become a real torment and lead to an argument, it is important Make it clear what place that ex occupies in your partner’s plans. It is not the same whether they have been married for years, whether or not they have children in common or whether their courtship has only lasted a few months.

And the only way to know is to ask. But without getting upset, from sincerity, respect and seeking understanding. Of course, you have to subtly pay attention to three key aspects of the response your partner gives you.

How he talks about her: with anger, pain, indifference, contempt… This will give you information about the feelings you currently have towards her.If you often bring up his name in your regular conversations: If she tells about previous experiences or moments with her and if she does so naturally and without giving it more importance than it deserves.If they maintain contact and how much they do so: If they talk often and through what means they do it, if they are part of their group of friends, if they have deleted their number…

Of course, do not forget that, while you are having these conversations as a couple, you should always put what belongs to the past in its dimension. On the other hand, do not try to interpret the other’s experiences based on your own; surely in many of the circumstances you would have acted differently on many points. In case jealousy appears, it is good to remember that you are now with a person who completes you more. And that’s you.

The future: uncertainty suffocates

Will he think that I am the man/woman of his life? Will you have the illusion of getting married? Will you want to start a family? Will he be a good father? Has the maternal instinct been awakened in him/her? These are some of the questions we ask ourselves when we begin to consider having a serious relationship with a person. Person.

Addressing these issues is not easy. It means that we have to face a reality, which may enchant us and make us fall in love more. We can also not like it and disappoint us to the extreme.

Furthermore, if it is the other person who proposes these questions and you have not had time to mature it, On many occasions you can become paralyzed. The truth is that sometimes we do not have the tools to prevent the demons and fears of the past from returning to us. And before answering, we would prefer to immerse ourselves in ice. But think about it this way: the sooner you know what to expect, the more power you will have over your future. Uncertainty is not a good travel companion.

If there are differences or discrepancies regarding your future, it is good to propose and participate in a dialogue about them. Even if it seems like you have totally opposite points of view. For example, children yes and children no, agreements can be reached on all issues.

It is better, when organizing your future plan, that you start with what you think about most similarly. and, little by little, increase the difficulty and identify what you are willing to give up for the other person and what you are not. What are your concessions and the points on which you want to maintain a firmer position. In addition, you will have to learn to identify which concessions best compensate for what the other makes, so that at the end of the agreement you are both happy with it.

To share is to live

Home, sweet home… Or not? If you have just moved in with your partner, sooner rather than later you will have to welcome shared expenses. Or, rather, to the shared everything.

Coexistence is hard. Not only because it can end up wearing down the relationship, due to daily friction, but because if both of you do not do your part, any task can end up being the source of a confrontation. You can be as loving, tender, and attentive as you want, but if you don’t help with household chores… You have a problem!

And the biggest complication comes when you have to tell them. When you can’t take it anymore and everything takes you out of your control. The moment to stand up and say… “We have to talk”. How do you have to face that conversation? Well, from naturalness.

You can start by doing a list with all the weekly household tasks you have to do (in case this is the problem). The ones that your partner proposes will be the ones that he values ​​most or considers essential, so it will also help you get to know him better. Then you can distribute them in a proportion in which you both agree. It is good that the initiative is shared at all times and that the agreement reached is recognized by both.

There are no awkward couple conversations to resist

As you can see, The key to all these couple conversations is to understand the situation and provide an agreed solution that is satisfactory for both of them. But this cannot be achieved overnight nor can it be achieved if you do not know the person with whom you want to share your life.

A couple with a future is one who He talks openly about all his concerns, dreams, problems or worries. It is the one that does not try to avoid them or escape from them, it is the one that addresses the differences knowing that there are areas that require many skills for expression and understanding.

A healthy relationship is based on trust, respect and enthusiasm.. Therefore, the best thing to do when dealing with these types of sensitive conversations is not to leave these three ingredients behind us when it is time to sit down and talk. Only in this way can you reach a point where the couple, and both of you individually, feel good living together: the home of the relationship.

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