Divorce in old age: 6 keys to overcoming it

A breakup is rarely pleasant. Age doesn’t matter, because as Oscar Wilde said, ‘the tragedy of old age is not that one is old, but that one is young.’ It is obvious that A divorce in old age can be as traumatic as at any other time.

Generally, an older marriage is associated with stability. However, More and more older people are getting divorced. However, before starting to generalize, it is necessary to point out that each couple is a world that has particular reasons that may or may not respond to the story of the majority.

Be that as it may, after the age of 60, a series of changes occur that could act as the spark that lights the flame of a divorce. Habits and routines are abandoned and vital roles are lost. Not everyone accepts these changes well and knows how to manage well, for example, all the free time they have.

Factors that can influence a divorce in old age

In old age, after retirement, the amount of free time usually increases greatly. That is to say, more time is spent as a couple, alone, at home. If the relationship is solid and with stable bonds, this extra free time can be a blessing. But if these conditions do not exist, separation may be the least traumatic decision in the medium and long term.

Even so, trauma can occur, regardless of age. So that the imprint of separation does not end up translating into a chronic burden, certain factors will have to be studied, such as the degree of emotional involvement. Let’s think that the bonds are very strong after many years of relationship and the needs, after a certain age, only increase. Therefore, the drama could be higher at this point in life.

It is also important to study the social support that each person has. Trustworthy people must rise to the occasion. They are usually children, grandchildren, friends… All of them people with generally very strong ties. That’s why it is important to be careful about ‘taking sides’ in the conflict.

Obviously, The personality and emotional maturity that each person shows is important. The life experience at this point is great, but it has not always been managed with enough intelligence for it to benefit at that moment, not to mention the way of facing problems. All of this will be key in this situation.

How to manage a divorce in old age

A separation means a loss which is generally accompanied by pain. The grieving process is difficult to avoid, but it involves accepting and adapting to the new situation. Therefore, there are a series of very important keys to overcoming a divorce in old age.

Age does not prevent good grief management

A separation or divorce can come at any time. The important thing is to be clear about what happened, what the reasons were and avoid blaming. In many cases, The person who enjoys better health or more resources is the one who tends to blame himself.

At first, the feeling that vitality ends with the end of the relationship may be recurrent. They have been together for many years, so it is difficult to start alone again. But you don’t have to block yourself. It’s a good time to lean on routine, in hobbies, in people, in obligations, etc.

Time

Time is always important to overcome adverse situations. It will be normal to experience pain, but it is necessary to express feelings and understand the emotions that are associated with grief, such as anguish, anger or sadness. To accept all this, time is necessary.

Avoid fixation

The sooner the new situation is accepted, the better.. If we remain ruminating, fixated on misfortune, everything will get worse. This situation only generates more anxiety which, in turn, is associated with more suffering.

Friendship

Definitely, social support is basic. Friends and family are key figures in overcoming a divorce in old age. If you have children or grandchildren, or even lifelong acquaintances, this is the special occasion for them to listen to you and support you.

Constant activity

It’s also basic stay active. Take advantage of your free time to walk or play sports, read a good book, enjoy time with your grandchildren or pets, watch a movie, listen to music, paint… Anything that gives you satisfaction will be welcome.

Loneliness is not the enemy

Loneliness is the enemy of many older people, because it is not desired. Many elderly people need attention that they also hate to ask for. They do not want to see themselves as dependent or needy people and they avoid this by closing the avenue for requests.

Hence, the people around them, to know what they need, have to insist. Hence, when they do not exist, many of these needs remain unmet. There are many parents who, the last thing they want to be, are a burden on their children and, therefore, instead of getting closer, they walk away… when what they need is the opposite.

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