Chemistry, connection and compatibility in a couple: what are the differences?

Romantic relationships are one of the social environments in which the most conflicts occur. How is it possible that something that, originally, should provide calm and pleasure can affect our lives so negatively? The reason may be a confusion of concepts: normally We use terms like chemistry, connection and compatibility in the couple interchangeably.but these reflect different realities.

Think for a moment, do you think you enjoy these three elements in your current relationship or that you had them in your past relationships? You must know that Not all of them necessarily have to be present at the same time, and some are more important than others.. In fact, dissatisfaction in relationships can come from focusing on searching for and enhancing the wrong ingredient. If you want to know more about it, we invite you to continue reading.

Chemistry, connection and compatibility in the couple

Although these terms are in common use, we can say that Stephan Labossiere is one of the authors who has dedicated the most energy to clarifying and shaping them. This speaker and relationship coach, also known as Stephan Speaks, states that there are big differences between these concepts and that knowing them is key to enjoying successful and satisfying relationships.

But what do each one really consist of?

Chemistry is the ability to understand each other, an aspect that can be present in other types of relationships.

Chemistry

We usually define chemistry as the sexual attraction between two people, the passion or the impulse to be with each other. It is the most present element at the beginning of relationships, when both are still getting to know each other and usually leads to what Sternberg calls infatuation in his triangular theory of love.

However, under the concept of Stephan Labossiere, Chemistry is the fluidity of the relationship, the ability to understand each other and work as a team.. Thus, it can occur in any area: not only in romantic relationships, but also with friends, partners or co-workers.

Compatibility

Compatibility designates the degree of affinity, interests and shared tastes. There are couples who enjoy sports and outdoor activities, others enjoy music, and others enjoy cooking or video games. When these hobbies are common to both, compatibility increases.

It is this ingredient that can lead us to think that two people “are made to be together”; It’s what we look at when we try to match two friends who don’t know each other. They invest their time in the same areas, have similar ideas and hobbiesTherefore, we deduce that they are compatible.

Connection

Connection is the most subjective and intangible element; It cannot be predicted nor is it subject to external events and actions. It is a deep spiritual attraction, one that is felt without seeking it, without effort and without a logical or rational basis.

Some call this “love at first sight,” but it should not be confused with pure physical attraction. We’re talking about when you feel a connection with a person practically from the first moment, even though you can’t explain why or have much of an idea of ​​where that relationship will lead, but you are aware that It’s a feeling you don’t experience with other people..

Compatibility in a couple is not essential

Now, one might think that for a relationship to last, it is essential that there is compatibility between the couple. In fact, day-to-day life is easier if you both share opinions, hobbies and points of view.

However, how many times do we find couples made up of people who apparently have nothing to do with each other? And, most surprising, how many times are relationships stronger and happier? This is explained, according to Stephan Speaks, because connection is the truly essential ingredient in a successful bond. And it is, furthermore, the only element that cannot be built based on work, effort, dialogue or negotiation.

Of course, sharing opinions, hobbies and points of view greatly facilitates the relationship and allows its members to enjoy joint activities. Likewise, chemistry helps to avoid conflicts and resolve them, to form a good team on a daily basis and to work towards a common project.

However, Without a genuine foundational connection, this will lead to sociable or empty love.of companions, but not the consummate love that we all wish to experience.

Connection is the essential ingredient for a relationship to work.

Look for a true connection

We can all learn to work with our partner, to communicate better. Furthermore, sharing each other’s hobbies becomes appealing and natural when we feel a deep connection. For this reason, perhaps we should reorder our priorities and learn to identify when that connection is present and when it is not.

Love shouldn’t be forced, we shouldn’t being next to someone who is perfect on paper, but who doesn’t spark anything in the depths of our being. If the fear of loneliness leads you to remain in a relationship that does not fulfill you, consulting with a professional could help you.

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