The 21 most common sexual fantasies

Sexual fantasies are a central component of sexuality. Although they are sometimes perceived as taboo, the truth is that the majority develop them regardless of their sex, gender, sexual orientation or sexual identity. Today we analyze the most common sexual fantasies and some curiosities about them.

Fantasies are thought to be universal; that is, they are independent of the culture or society where one lives. It is not something exclusive to men, there is nothing wrong with having them and their intention is not always to “come true.”. We debunk some myths around them, define them and compile the most frequent ones.

What is a sexual fantasy?

In very simple terms, a sexual fantasy is a mental image that evokes an erotic idea or component capable of promoting or increasing sexual desire. It can be created from imagination or based on a person’s memories.. Likewise, it can be triggered by an external stimulus or manifest autonomously.

Fantasies vary depending on gender, sex, culture, religion and other variables. Despite this, most people experience them occasionally or recurrently. Contrary to the social stigma that some sectors have, they actually help improve sexuality.

Generally, Sexual fantasies almost always remain on the imaginative level.. This does not mean that they cannot become reality, or that the subject does not desire it, but what makes them attractive and interesting is that they are to a certain degree unattainable. They are not always related to paraphilias, a common mistake when thinking about them.

The most common sexual fantasies that you should know

Sexual fantasies are independent of a person’s behavior in their material reality. There is nothing wrong with them, at least when they do not interfere with one’s own and others’ well-being.. They are also not related to sex addiction, since as we highlight they are part of healthy sexuality.

Without further ado, we leave you with the most common sexual fantasies among the general population:

1. Have sex with an ex-partner

Of the entire catalog of sexual fantasies available, this is probably the most common. Having sex with an ex-partner, whether or not you are in a new relationship, tops most of the wishes on our list. Often, but not always, it manifests itself through erotic dreams.

2. Recreate a scene

Recreating a sexual scene seen in an adult film or in an erotic film is another of the most common sexual fantasies. It is related to the interpretation of sexual role plays..

3. Have sex with a famous person

Based on the idea of ​​”unattainable” that we have already mentioned, having sex with a famous person is another of the most frequent sexual thoughts. Actors, singers, musicians and models are part of the sexual ideology of millions of people around the world.

4. Sex with current partner

When the sexual union has not yet been consummated, it is common to fantasize about the first meeting that one will have with the person with whom one has started dating. Keep in mind here the definition that we gave at the beginning, an example that not all fantasies are atypical or associated with paraphilic behaviors.

5. Sex with a stranger

The morbidity towards the unknown influences a lot here. Practicing casual sex with someone you don’t know at all arouses interest, excitement and attraction in many people. In fact, it is something that is part of the imaginary of erotic stories, movies, novels and so on.

6. Romance with a co-worker

Idealized loves with work colleagues are a classic, so they do not escape the most common sexual fantasies. The fantasy can be with a partner of equal status or with a superior. Since the latter have a certain degree of power or authority, they tend to be more idealized than the former.

7. Sex with a friend

It is not necessary to go “so far” with strangers, nor so close with our current partner. The reality is that another sexual fantasy is to imagine having sex with a friend.. It manifests itself regardless of whether or not you are currently in a stable relationship.

8. Threesome sex (or group sex)

It is the sexual fantasy that crowns the image of our article, and it is for a very good reason. The illusion of having sex with three or more people, as well reported through Healthcare, it is very popular among people. The fantasy may involve heterosexual or homosexual encounters.

9. Public sex

It manifests itself in many ways, including having sex in a car. The possibility of being observed or breaking the law adds extra danger. When thoughts alter people’s well-being, or are uncontrollable, we speak of exhibitionism.

10. Have sex with a police officer

As in other cases, this illusion is related to morbidity towards authority, towards limits, towards power or towards the uniform. Regarding the latter, sexual fantasies that involve jobs related to a uniform (firefighters, security guards, military and others) are typical in most cultures.

11. Watching a couple have sex

The role of observer generates pleasure for many, so it is also one of the most common sexual fantasies. When it becomes a sexual fetish it is called voyeurism, although the latter encompasses other things. For example, observing a naked person.

12. Explore sensory deprivation

For example, through the blindfold. It is true that it is a frequent practice in many encounters, and it is for the reason that it is one of the most common sexual fantasies. Sensory deprivation relegates authority and power to the other, since a vulnerable position is adopted by “losing” one or more senses.

13. Adopt a submissive role or be dominated

The contrast to dominate/be dominated is present in sex explicitly or implicitly, but there are those who want to take it to the next level.

That is, the other party takes absolute control of the act, often through objects (hand shackles, ropes, and so on). Depending on the intensity of the fantasy or its characteristics, it may qualify for BDSM.

14. Do cosplay in bed

It is similar to role-playing, only in this case a specific character is represented. The protagonists of series, movies or video games are the most idealized, although in practice it can be done cosplay of whatever.

15. Receiving or giving oral sex

Especially when the act involves adjustments or deviations from the conventional way in which it is practiced. For example, changing the place, the people and so on. The fantasy does not have to be involved with the current partner, it can also be involved with an ex-partner, a friend, a work colleague, a neighbor and so on.

16. Practice anal sex

Perhaps in part because of the taboo that still persists in society, anal sex is among the most reported sexual fantasies in surveys. It is not a fantasy exclusive to men, as is often thought, but rather women often develop it.

17. Have sex with a teacher

Like many on our list, this fantasy is part of popular culture. Indeed, in books, movies, series and much more the romance between a student and his teacher is told.

These artistic representations do nothing more than reflect the common desire of a large part of the population: having a sexual encounter with a figure for whom you respect, admire, and who has a certain level of power.

18. Have sex with someone older

Both men and women fantasize about having sex with an older person. Although it is more common during adolescence and early adulthood, it generally persists during people’s sexual lives. It has its counterpart: the desire for a sexual encounter with someone younger..

19. Receive a sexual massage

Sexual massages with “happy endings” are part of the sexual ideology. In reality, many fantasize about the eroticism, passion or romance behind the action. As in other cases, it is compatible with the other fantasies on this list (that an ex-partner does it, for example).

20. Practice cuckolding

This practice can be confused with voyeurism, in reality it is different. He cuckolding It consists of observing how one’s own partner has sexual relations with someone else, most of the time without participating in the act. It is part of the practices within consensual non-monogamy.

21. Have experiences with the same sex or gender

Terms like gender bending (gender bender), homoeroticism, gender swapping (gender swap) and many others are limited within this fantasy. It may include conventional sexual practice or the use of cosplay or role play.

Adjustments during sexual thoughts and fantasies

Since they are part of the creative apparatus, it is not strange to find that people make adjustments to themselves or others during a fantasy. according to the book Tell me what you want: The science of sexual desire and how it can help you improve your sex life (2018), during these the following usually occurs:

Men often fantasize about a younger version of themselves. Women do the opposite: they visualize themselves a couple of years in the future. Men are prone to change the shape and size of their genitals during experiences. For their part, women tend to change their body in general. In introverted women and men, the personality usually manifests a more open or extroverted adjustment in daydreaming. According to Justin Lehmiller, author of the book, women tend to assume a more dominant and men are more submissive than you think. That is, it is not uncommon for them to assume these positions.

Sexual fantasies and psychological conflicts

Although in recent years sexuality has been stripped of its taboos, sexual fantasies still continue to generate shame. So much so that They can be a source of discomfort in those who imagine them.. Among other things, this usually occurs when there is a conflict between desire and learned morality.

In these cases, it is advisable to analyze the cause of said discomfort. One way to do this is by reviewing the moral code and beliefs, also understanding that there is nothing wrong with them. However, there will be cases in which it is necessary and beneficial to see a specialist if desired.

Likewise, it is pertinent to mention that Sexual fantasies can become pathological if they affect the individual’s life or if they are the only way to reach orgasm.. In these cases, it is also essential to assist with a professional. Keep in mind that the goal is to be able to enjoy sexual freedom without harming others, or ourselves.

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