Telling the truth: 5 keys to not hurt others

Telling the truth has become synonymous with offending people In most occasions. “Truth” is a positive value and it would be desirable that we always have access to it. Why then has it become a vehicle to attack others?

The answer could be in a society that lives under the implicit pact of lying in human relationships to, apparently, make them kinder. It seems that if we want to maintain harmony with someone, we must lie to them. And if we decide to put an end to that rose garden, we just have to tell him the truth, in the worst possible terms. Great paradox.

Sometimes telling the truth is an act that is accompanied by anger. Other times, the person who is the object of that “truth” feels bad when it is told to them, even if the intention is constructive. What happens to us with the truth?

We should be able to say and listen to truths that we do not like, without this leading us to major conflicts.. Next, we will see some keys so that telling the truth does not become something unpleasant and hurtful.

1. Express yourself constructively by telling the truth

First of all, It is important to examine what our intentions are at the moment of telling the truth. The first thing is to be honest with ourselves and define if we are moved by a constructive desire or if, on the contrary, we are using that uncomfortable truth as a pretext to make someone feel bad.

The form will depend on that intention. to tell the truth. When the motivation is positive, a friendly approach is chosen to communicate with the other. For example, a defect, a lack or an inconsistency is pointed out, so that it becomes a contribution and not an affront. To do this, we can also rely on what we do well or are better at. This way, the message will not be so aggressive.

2. Be willing to listen

Many times the inconvenient truth involves both parties. So that If we are capable of telling the truth, we should also be able to listen to it. Sincere conversations are two-way. Both sides have something to say.

Listening means opening your mind to the other’s point of view.. Constructive listening aims to draw conclusions that are beneficial to everyone involved. For the same reason, there is no reluctance to understand the reasons of others, nor to recognize other people’s truths.

3. Not thinking for others

It is not appropriate to try to think for others, in two senses. The first is to imagine what the reaction could be. of that person to whom you want to tell the truth. And desist from doing so assuming the possible damage or discomfort that may result.

The second sense is to assume that it is completely clear what is inside the other. That his intentions and his most secret feelings are known, which serves as a basis for judging him. In both cases, thinking for others only leads to error. Telling the truth is not the same as believing oneself to possess it.

4. Be clear and direct

An uncomfortable truth sounds terrible when it is said with anger, strong words, and thoughtlessness. However, Nor is it appropriate to express it with euphemisms, subtleties or using mechanisms to soften it artificially.. In both cases there is a falsification of the central purpose, which is to tell the truth.

The appropriate thing is to communicate these truths calmly and clearly.. Detours only give the impression that you want to deceive or manipulate the situation. It is good to think about which are the most appropriate words to present a precise, concise and understandable message.

5. Pose a purpose

Telling the truth should always have a purpose. However, many times we do not make the effort to define it clearly before speaking. It is a big mistake, since the declaration of truth could be obeying motivations that are not so positive or not so relevant.

The question is: what do you want to achieve by telling the truth? A healthy response has to do with the intention to overcome conflicts, seek greater understanding or increase the quality of the bond that unites us with others.

It would be positive to banish the idea that telling the truth is equivalent to insulting. Being rude doesn’t mean someone is sincere. Truths are always better heard and accepted if they are accompanied by respect and a genuine intention to build something more positive for those involved.

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