Surviving a bad decision

He who has not made a mistake, let him cast the first stone. Who hasn’t been carried away by an impulse and made a bad decision as a result? Who has not believed that he knows what he has to know and makes a determination that in the end was wrong? It has happened to all of ussometimes with very high costs.

After realizing the mistake comes a kind of hangover. We renounce the bad moment when we thought it was the right thing to do. We feel guilty. We get distressed. We review again and again the way to go back on what we have done. We plunge into despondency. What to do in those cases?

A bad decision: measuring the scope of the damage

It is normal for you to have an outburst of anger and sadness at first. But come on, don’t stay there. It’s no use torturing yourself or filling yourself with guilt.. So that? That’s only going to prevent you from putting your head on ice and taking truly effective actions to solve whatever is solvable.

Once you have completed the relief phase, Your first task is to define, as precisely as possible, what the error was.. Did you decide without knowing what terrain you were moving into? Did you rush? Did you let some external factors pressure you? Did you not take into account the times or processes and acted at the wrong time?

The better you pinpoint the error, the more likely you are to repair it, or to gain valuable experience from it. However, The best way to start repairing the damage is to replace guilt with responsibility.. The feeling of guilt can become so great that it only paralyzes us. On the other hand, if instead of feeling guilty we observe our responsibility in a situation, we will be in a position to think about it and begin to act accordingly.

What can we learn from the mistake?

The second thing is to measure the consequences of your mistake. You must ask yourself in what areas it affects you (economic, emotional, physical, or whatever). You should also take stock of the degree of damage you have done, or have done to yourself.. Use a simple scale: low, medium or high. Then, define all the consequences that that bad decision you made brings to you.

Don’t give in to the temptation to be extremely hard on yourself.. Remember that you are carrying a load of guilt at that moment and that can affect your perception. Try to be objective. Observe the situation and try to figure out what led you to act the way you did. You may realize that you were a victim of your emotions, so it can serve as a lesson for you: “I must learn to control my impulses”.

Repair and move on

When you have established what the errors were and the damage caused, you have very important information to move forward instead of staying in the frustration of what could have been and was not. Calmly think if you can still do something about it. Analyze to see if there is any way to modify some or all of what has happened.

What can be saved from the storm?

Remember that It’s not about erasing what you did, but about taking responsibility for your mistake.. Remember, let go of guilt and take charge of the situation. It is very negative if you direct your efforts to try to hide the mistake, justify it or defend it with cynicism. That only makes the situation worse, it never solves it. Assume the mistake and learn from it. If we transform our mistakes into learning, we will undoubtedly emerge much stronger.

Focus your attention on repairing the damage. By making a bad decision you caused negative effects that can continue to increase. So look for a way to put a limit on that process that is already underway.. Mistakes, as well as successes, usually trigger a chain of events. You must avoid damage that has not yet been caused.

Avoid rejoicing in error

If it is not possible to do something, avoid rejoicing in the mistake with long sessions of self-torture. If you have understood your mistake, If you are aware of the damage you have done, there is nothing left but to apologize. Offer sincere excuses for whatever needs to be offered and with everyone who may be affected by your decision. Do it with humility. Showing sincere regret will let them know that you understand the harm you have caused. Therefore, apologizing, acknowledging the mistake and taking responsibility for ensuring that it will not happen again, is one of the best ways to ask for forgiveness.

But above all, ask yourself what you have learned from all of this and forgive yourself. It has happened to all of us and you don’t have to be an exception. Maybe that mistake was a source of wisdom that you needed to avoid making worse mistakes.. When we make a mistake, it is usually a sign that we still have many things to learn. So the best we can do is learn from it. Rescue the good and turn the page.

Image courtesy of Tomas Picka