Sometimes we need to hear what we mean to someone.

Sometimes, we need to hear “I love you”, “you are important to me”. or a “thank you for being who you are.” Knowing what we mean to someone is not an act of weakness. We are not looking to feel validated, what we only need is to hear out loud what our hearts feel, to see ourselves recognized and caressed through words, tone and a sincere voice.

Remember: love is not something intangible or untranslatable, it is not smoke, it is not a perfume, because the verb “to love” is inflected with our five senses and that is how we feel nourished, comforted. We don’t have to take affection for granted when we create a bondhe “you know what I feel” It is not enough or nourishes a relationship, and “If I’m with you it’s for a reason.” It can sometimes raise more doubts than certainties when we truly love someone.

Almost no one needs to hear over and over again what it means to others, but having at our side people who do not speak the language of emotions, who slip away and who do not perceive the other’s need to be recognized or appreciated through The word usually exhausts. Even worse, they create and feed doubts, uncertainties and unfathomable voids.

Often, The person who suffers from the famine of emotional caress, expressed through words, is obliged to be a translator of gestures. There where you can read affection through looks, preference through actions, and sincerity through those daily behaviors of an alexithymic loved one that neither perceives nor expresses. Something like this can undoubtedly be exhausting.

The need to listen and feel that we are important to someone

Feeling love, affection and recognition in every atom of our senses, in every vibration of our heartbeats and in every connection of our brain cells gives us balance, well-being, and fullness. Human beings are genetically programmed to connect with their peers.because this is how we guarantee our survival, because this is how we have managed to advance, evolve, grow as a species.

Therefore, no one should perceive themselves as a weak or dependent person if they miss their partner or loved ones devoting them a word of affection, a gesture of affection translated into a kind phrase, in an expression where empathy and affection. For our brain it is a very significant act, and hence needing a “thank you”, “you are amazing” or “I love having you by my side” from time to time is something not only natural, but logical and necessary.

On the other hand, we cannot neglect something essential. It’s not just adults who need to hear what we mean to others. Children They need these types of gestures as much as food, as well as those strong hands that hold them while they learn to walk.more than the clothes they wear or that expensive toy they ask for at every moment.

The importance of the emotional bond and its quality will determine many future behaviors; Thus, any child who, in that earliest childhood, is raised in an environment of emotional coldness, insecurity or parental neglect, is much more likely to develop behavioral disorders, and clear difficulties when it comes to using appropriate emotional language. .

Talk to me without fear, talk to me from the heart

There are too many emotionally illiterate people, and we are not just referring to those who suffer from the affective-cognitive communication disorder called alexithymia. It is something more complex, something deeper and it has to do above all with how we are educated. We can see it in many of our most everyday environments, schools, jobs, etc., where “emotional kidnappers” grow in abundance instead of “emotional facilitators.”

We see children who bully in classrooms or on social networkswe see managers unable to create more empathetic, respectful and creative work environments. We see it in our way of communicating, where we come to think that by using emoticons and smiling faces we already build a meaningful and validating language.

However, that is not the case. As explained to us in the book “Intelligent Hearts” by Natalia Ramos and Pablo Fernández, our world lacks a certain practical application of Emotional Intelligence. Because emotions are not experienced in the abstract, they are not something diffuse, life is not a David Lynch film, where narrative language, although fascinating and symbolic, sometimes lacks meaning. Life needs a firm meaning and love needs certainties.

Therefore, Let us make effective use of language, let it be an instrument that creates and validates. There where we can be brave, there where we can allow our hearts to care and caress, where we can connect with others through positive words, phrases that transmit real affection.

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