Set limits: you don’t deserve to be disrespected

If they disrespect you, set limits and protect yourself from aggression (direct or indirect). We have not come into this world to endure aggression (no matter how veiled it may be), and even less so when we have done nothing to deserve it. Think that we cannot control the behavior of all people, but we can We can learn to set limits and consequences when someone crosses them.

We have come to normalize lack of respect as something that is part, above all, of power relations. As if it were a tolerable basis in relationships between people at different levels of a hierarchy. We excuse ourselves and we excuse others. “Well… it’s your boss, you have no choice but to put up with it”, “don’t expect them to treat you well if you’ve just arrived at that job” and a great etcetera.

The line that separates what is tolerable and what is intolerable has become blurred, as if it were a pencil line over which we have repeatedly passed our finger.. On the other hand, each person has the capacity and obligation to set their own limits. However, what is true is that on many occasions we find ourselves doubting whether something has crossed the limits of respect in a relationship.

Boundaries protect you from disrespect

Therefore, it is essential to make it clear what we are going to tolerate and what we are not going to tolerate in a relationship. With our friends, with acquaintances, with co-workers, with family… Let’s make an effort to listen to our body’s signals when someone is crossing the border.

When respect for us is being violated, our body is wise and will always warn us about it. Listening to him and being aware of him is our task.

In human relationships no one is superior to anyone. We are all different and carry out different activities, but no one is “humanly superior” to anyone else.. Therefore, if we allow someone to harm or hurt us we should not think superiority is a valid reason.

Because of this rule of three, all people “superior” to us have the right to hurt and harm us. If no one is superior to anyone else, then perhaps it is good for you to consider to what extent YOU are giving that power YOURSELF. That power that another starting point does not have.

We find ourselves giving power to certain people to hurt us, and make us feel bad. As? Assuming her lack of respect as something natural, as something we allow. Like something we let him do. I let you enter my castle and I also let you do whatever you want with it.

If we do not set limits we are allowing the other to harm us

There are many ways in which we let others overstep and in which we send signals to “invite” them to do so. For example, when someone has made us feel very uncomfortable with a comment about us. Instead of making it known, we remain silent and silence it. We keep it in our particular backpack of stored grudges. Thus, we turn their lack of respect into poison for us.

At the same time, by consenting to a behavior we say we are sending a clear message to the other: in the future it is likely that we will consent to it again. In some way it is as if we were indirectly telling him “you can disrespect me if you want, I’ll let you do it.”

Many times we smile or “draw thick veils” to avoid being honest with our limits and making them visible to others.. There is nothing wrong with doing it, in fact many times it is a matter of survival.

Another reason we remain silent is because we feel very awkward being assertive.. We tread so little in this field that many times our message of censure for the behavior observed is very unclear. It’s okay, with practice you will learn, the important thing is that you get to it.

Don’t fool yourself, you don’t deserve anyone to disrespect you.

Although enduring a lack of respect at a certain moment is a matter of “survival”, it does not mean that the vast majority are. If someone is disrespecting us, we often have to ask ourselves if we are “accepting” it in order to “survive.” or because we are not able to set our limits and we do not value or love ourselves enough.

We do not deserve anyone to disrespect us gratuitously and without any basis. So, if you don’t deserve it, Consider whether it is better to shoulder the pain and change the subject with a smile or assume that your limits have been violated. You can do a lot to reclaim your boundaries and show them authentically when you feel they are being violated.

It is undoubtedly a challenge, and requires some effort if you are not used to doing it, but it is worth it. It is worth RESPECTING YOURSELF, rather than letting others disrespect us to maintain their “appreciation” towards us.

It is once again about self-care and self-love. A challenge to find happiness in this society of macabre lures. Thus, as life is not watertight and also (and above all) it is yours. You can choose to respect yourself when others won’t!

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