Sensitivity is a sign of strength, not weakness

Sensitivity is a human value to enhance in an apparently insensitive society. Thanks to it we improve our relationships, our empathy and we invest in more respectful environments.

Sensitivity in our way of behaving, understanding and communicating is not a sign of weakness, but of strength. This statement is contrary to what seems to be held in the thinking of many people who understand that feelings make us vulnerable.

Emotions, feelings and sensations have been punished throughout our history On numerous occasions. Therefore, it is not strange that society thinks that feeling makes us less effective, strong and capable when it comes to making decisions and walking through life.

On the other hand, there is one thing that we must keep in mind. Sensitivity or sensitive personality makes up a personality type which today has greater literature and scientific support. With books like The gift of sensitivityby Dr. Elaine Aron, we can already know first-hand what characteristics define this type of profile.

Intimacy, authenticity and sensitivity in communication

Sensitive communication requires candor. What happens is that by being frank or saying what we think we can hurt people. Therefore, we must know that in addition to being honest, at the same time we have to express ourselves in a way that generates the least possible damage.

What is the key to sensitive communication?

Sensitive communication involves expressing a feeling, not a judgment. Judging others means destroying any type of sensitivity and openness of communication. That is, instead of telling someone “You are a liar” we should ask ourselves what that means before communicating this value judgment.

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Thus, instead of passing sentences, we should talk about the feelings that that person’s behavior provokes in us. That is to say: “It drives me crazy that he does this”, “It makes me very angry that he does this”. Always being very specific and emphasizing what the situation that has arisen makes us feel.

There is no vulnerability in our feelings, emotions and sensations

Many people communicate through judgment for fear of being sensitive. They do it because they understand that through feelings they show vulnerability. However, While judgments and opinions are pure conjecture, there is nothing speculative about feelings.

When it comes to promoting sensitivity in our closest relationships, we go “showing” greater vulnerability. We assume that no one is going to take advantage of it and We use our feelings to promote effective communication.

However, in relationships “less narrow or solid” We tend to show the posture of judgment and coldness as if this represented a triumph instead of a posture of vulnerability. We feel that this way we appear good and that the reason is given to us by insensitivity because it is more objective.

As a consequence, as Dr. Susan Brennan of Columbia University reveals in a study, we do not communicate clearly and openly. Instead, We fall into the temptation of what is easy and fast. We fear that they will discover that part of us that we believe is inferior but that, on the contrary, makes us wise at heart.

Showing ourselves sensitive and making others see that we are not stones means expressing ourselves as confident, open, relaxed, enthusiastic and inclined to learning, understanding and maturity. Sensitivity is not something we have to be ashamed of.

Sensitivity in an insensitive society

It is difficult to speak from sensitivity but it is worth trying. It is very beneficial to mature within a competitive society and unlearn that what makes us strong is perceived as vulnerable.

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As we already know, criticizing, ridiculing or ignoring what bothers us only leads to an escalation of tension that generates conflicts that are difficult to resolve.. Therefore, that lesson that society teaches us not to be sensitive can only be useful in some circumstances, but not in common cases.

Attacking instead of revealing feelings and sensations is a mistake for which we can pay dearly. Knowing this, it should be clear to us that sensitivity is a gift that deserves to be enhanced, because Living “from the heart” is what makes us special and authentic.

Let us therefore not hesitate to allow ourselves to enhance this feature. Works as interesting as that of Dr. Elaine Aron and the studies of Dr. Acebedo carried out at the University of California, reveal to us the benefits of this capacity, this virtue that our society needs so much.