Self-disclosures: advantages and problems in communication

What do we do when we meet a person? To break the ice and start a fluid conversation we use self-disclosures, That is, we provide free information about ourselves. Nobody is asking us about anything personal. However, in our attempt to establish a bond with the other person we use this strategy.

Self-disclosures are considered strategies because They are an important part of our social skills. It is true that there are people who use them less than others. And although their use is beneficial, they can also lead to problems when used in excess.

Self-revelations when we meet someone

How do we identify self-disclosures? It is very simple. Every time we express an opinion, express our desires, or talk about ourselves we are using self-disclosure. As we said, They are a way of making ourselves known, a strategy to create a warm and pleasant atmosphere and sometimes, try to match. For example, if we give an opinion and the other person agrees with us, we are on the right track to building a bond.

Every time we tell someone where we live, what we do, or what we like, we are using self-disclosure to try to establish a bond with the other person.

Giving information about ourselves is very pleasant, since it creates a climate of trust and invites the other person to also talk about themselves. In these circumstances, it is normal for there to be interest and questions to begin to be asked.

Self-disclosures are very useful because there is no one we know more than ourselves. If we don’t have many social skills, they are a good start to start some conversation. Giving personal information always attracts, generates curiosity and invites others to want to know us better..

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However, Even if we use this tool, sometimes we make certain mistakes. Many times, we don’t know why a person has disliked us or why the relationship hasn’t worked out. These types of situations may reveal a problem related to self-disclosure.

The problems of self-disclosure

Although self-disclosures may have seemed like an excellent way to start conversations and meet new people, the truth is that sometimes they do not benefit us. Next, We expose some of the errors that can generate tense situations.

Project a false image

All the information we give about ourselves is “good information.”. We do not talk about our defects, shortcomings or weaknesses. If we exceed in providing this information, we can project an image of false perfection that can cause us to lose credibility.

A situation may come to mind in which we thought that another person believed himself to be better than others or that he showed himself as someone without any flaws. He was probably exaggerating what he said about himself or focusing too much on the positive.

Excessive giving of information

There are people who like someone to be honest with them, opening up even if they don’t know them very well.. However, there are others who are uncomfortable with certain types of information. For this reason, it is necessary that we be cautious until we fully know the person with whom we are interacting.

Being too explicit can generate feelings of rejection in the other person if we do not know them. We don’t know if he has any beliefs or taboos about what we are explaining in such detail.

For example, Being too detailed when telling something or expressing feelings precisely can generate some rejection if there is no trust.. Hence, we have to be very alert to the non-verbal communication of whoever is in front of us to know if we have to reserve some things.

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It is important to keep in mind that not providing any information about ourselves and being secretive is not conducive to building new relationships. The same thing happens if we go overboard with the information and launch it as if we were talking to someone we know a lot (without this being the case). These two extremes are very negative. That’s why, The success of self-disclosures lies in balance.

Chances are, most of us have made mistakes with self-disclosure. It is normal. It is not easy to distinguish what type of information to give at first or to guess if what we are telling them is going to make the other person feel bad. However, you learn from experience.

The most important thing is to be aware of the automatic use we make of this social skill and, above all, to keep in mind that Self-disclosures reinforce bonds with known people and help us build relationships with strangers. The magic is in the balance.