No more broken heart pain – does one nail really pull out another nail?

When we face a breakup, the pain and suffering we feel can be very intense. These sensations can even lead us to think that the end of the relationship is an unbearable situation for which we need a quick solution. In fact, some people, in order to heal their broken heart and avoid the discomfort experienced, consider starting a new relationship as an option.

However, is starting a relationship after a breakup immediately the best option? Does one nail really pull out another nail? Will letting another person into our lives be the cure for all our ills? Due to the unexpected consequences that doing so may have, we cannot generalize the answer. However, This is an option that we must think about carefully. Let’s dig deeper.

Couple breakups

Breakups are common. In fact, they happen every day, for different reasons.. Jealousy, lack of love, insecurities, distrust, difference in projects, difference in thoughts, lack of tolerance in the couple… There are endless reasons that can lead to a relationship ending.

Society has been changing over time, and with it the types of relationships. Nowadays it is not strange to find people who change partners quickly. Many times, They do it without stopping to question what may be happening to themselves..

Although luckily not all people change partners so frequently, we can appreciate that The speed with which everything evolves, including relationships, is something very characteristic of this time. This may be the reason why the solution proposed by the popular saying “one nail pulls out another nail” is so taken into account.

However, Having to deal with everything that a breakup entails may not be pleasant, but it is necessary. Ultimately, it is a grieving process and this involves going through a series of phases or stages that we have to go through to achieve emotional balance.

What happens to us when we end a relationship?

Distress? Fear? Loneliness? All these emotions and many more come to us when we end a relationship. What happens is that A breakup necessarily involves changes and, in turn, dealing with the uncertainty that accompanies them and the consequent pain of a broken heart. Things will no longer be the same as before, the daily routine will be different and will be impregnated with memories of the couple, which will make us face the reality of their absence.

When we end a relationship, we lose the place we occupied in the couple’s life.. There is part of our identity that is lost with that breakup, while a void is generated inside us that we do not know or do not want to deal with. The pain of a broken heart often leads us to act without thinking.

For this reason, Many of us may choose to start a new relationship or an affair in an attempt to do something about that deep feeling of emptiness. It is a way of facing reality that reduces the pain of the breakup and distracts from memories, whether beautiful or painful.

The pain of a breakup can be disguised if we don’t address it.

Starting a relationship soon after a breakup can be a pain reliever for the pain we feel. However, it does not necessarily imply the healing of a broken heart. Let’s imagine that a breakup is like breaking a leg: if we took a painkiller we would feel less pain, but we wouldn’t be treating the real problem.

Even if we decide to be with another person, if we have not taken the time to assimilate what happened, We will drag many aspects and difficulties from the old relationship into the new one., seeing defects where there are none. On the contrary, if we carry out the grieving process correctly, we will be able to review the role we played with that partner, releasing the feelings that were stuck in the loss so we can remember without resentment.

An example of these drags are the comparisons that we can make between the old relationship and the new partner. We can also fear that history will repeat itself, carrying distrust and jealousy with us. All of them are a consequence of not having taken the time necessary to heal, to feel safe again and to be able to give ourselves again.

If we don’t take time between relationships, soon sadness will begin to appear as all the memories of the old relationship resurface. Anger will emerge and we will repeat patterns of what was done wrong with the previous partner. In summary, it you will begin to live the grieving process that was not experienced, but being with a new person. This, far from helping the new relationship to be healthy, can turn it into a toxic or dependent relationship.

Breakups entail a grieving process that must be respected.. Getting over it does not mean forgetting your ex-partner, but remembering them without pain. Only in this way can we start a new relationship in a healthy way, without implying chaining it with the previous one so as not to feel emptiness and loss.

In practice, one nail can hardly pull out another nail. Most likely it will be a hammer that can remove the nail. One partner cannot get over another, we will need to manage that loss and the emotions derived from it before we are ready to let a new person into our lives.