Self-destructive people: how do you know if you are one of them?

In theory, we all seek happiness and we act in their wake. In practice, many human beings do not fit this scheme.. Quite the opposite. Without knowing why, they perform actions that harm them. In that case we are talking about a self-destructive person.

Let’s think that a self-destructive person does not act the way he does because he really wants to.. What usually happens is that he feels bad, but he cannot identify exactly the reason. Thus, he develops behaviors that harm him.

We all have some facet like this inside us. However, some turn that facet into their integral personality. What happens with a self-destructive person is that they frequently punish themselves for feelings of guilt related to non-existent or imaginary events.. In this way, the seven most notable traits of a self-destructive person would be the following.

1. You react with sadness or irritation when you achieve something important

Although it seems very strange a self-destructive person feels an unfathomable emptiness when he or she achieves an important goal.. Even if you have fought hard for it, you finally fail to experience satisfaction when you achieve it.

What he feels about his triumphs is a certain sadness and sometimes anger. He almost always tries to minimize his achievements. He declares that it is absurd to feel happy about such nonsense. This is a clear sign that he is a self-destructive person.

2. He provokes others and then feels guilty

A self-destructive person is usually quite conflictive. He does not know why. Nor can it avoid that tendency to generate controversy about everything. In extreme cases, if others say “yes,” he says “no.” If they say “white,” he says “black.”

In discussions with others, it is not unusual for him to make verbal attacks or inconsiderate expressions. Once the storm passes, they feel terribly guilty for starting the dispute.. Also because of what they said or the way they said it.

3. You don’t recognize that you feel good, even if you do

For someone self-destructive, nothing is enough. Their main difficulty is feeling satisfaction, particularly with something that has been generated by themselves.. They will focus more on the black dot than the white sheet.

If, by chance, he feels good and you show it to him, he will feel very uncomfortable.. He will say that you are wrong. He will even feel alarmed. He will look within himself for reasons to stop feeling good and confirm his subjective position of discomfort.

4. You do not fulfill commitments that are decisive to achieve your objectives

The self-destructive person boycotts himself. It is good to insist that she does it unconsciously. That’s why you forget crucial appointments or fall asleep when you have an important appointment or get the time wrong.

It is as if it were imperative for them to avoid any form of well-being to which they have access. When they miss great opportunities, due to those apparent forgetfulness or distractions, they find a new reason to continue punishing themselves.

5. He is prone to sacrificing himself for others

It is not only good, but also very constructive to do something for others. However, in the case of the self-destructive person, these types of altruistic acts take on another meaning. They feel that they must regularly go above themselves to improve the lives of others..

He gives up his well-being relatively easily to give it to another. He is capable of going without a cent for helping someone or giving them a very valuable object. In the background, He feels guilty about something, usually imaginary, and this excessive generosity is a way of punishing and redeeming himself.

6. Does not stand up to abuse, a trait of the self-destructive person

A self-destructive person does not know how to defend himself. In fact, he does not feel that he has the right to protect his interests. The opinion she has of herself is very poor and that is why she feels that she is not worth enough to spend resources to prevent this damage.

In one way or another, these types of people feel that others have the right to abuse them.. Many of these self-destructive behaviors begin precisely with some type of abuse at an early age. Thus, they assume it as “normal.”

7. Boycott relationships that are working well

For a self-destructive person, it is very difficult to establish emotional ties with others. Deep down they are convinced that they are not worthy of love or attention.. Sometimes, not even friendship. They feel this because they don’t appreciate themselves.

If you exceptionally establish a good relationship with someone, you will feel very strange. Inside there is an imperceptible voice that tells them that “something is wrong.”. That is why they become capricious, obsessive and even abusive. In this way they damage good relationships.

The self-destructive person suffers a lot and makes others suffer.. Sometimes he is so intractable that he basically lives in great loneliness. Your possibilities for growth are always very limited. For all these reasons, this is one of those cases that demands psychotherapeutic help.

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