Why do you do this to yourself? Yes, with yourself. Because the one who’s missing the opportunity to receive a love like that from a Nicholas Sparks book is you, honey. Who’s missing a daily dose of kisses and hugs is not me, it’s you. Who is depriving himself of sleeping with his head resting on a chest who loves you it’s you, only you.

Yeah, because I, I allow myself. I stop my work to answer your messages. I delay my tasks to have countless hours of laughter staring at a screen. Funny, I was remembering here that even though I’m far from you, I see your eyes while reading the messages… I hear your voice, as if we’re in a personal conversation.

I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve had to start all over for getting lost talking about how I like red and you like blue… And suddenly I noticed my boss across the room watching me like I’m a stone madwoman who laughs as I type, and sighs as she reads.

Oh, I allow myself! For you I allow myself.

For you, I left the house without telling anyone where I was going so as not to arouse suspicion. For you I’ll stay awake at night and then I went to work even though I was tired. For you I sang Jorge and Mateus all out of tune and I made my friends angry, saying that first I must learn to sing and then do that.

For you I would listen to lyrical music, I would save on lunch to visit you. I’d send a handwritten letter, just to be romantic. I would make coffee every morning. I’d watch ’60s movies, face sleepless nights in a hospital hallway to make sure everything was okay. For you I would do so much, that even Barão Vermelho would want to reformulate the song and sing what I was doing.

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But you don’t allow yourself, and that’s why I’m not doing anything.

As for me, right this minute I would be on your lap, kissing your mouth slowly as I stroke your black hair and feel your hands on my waist. I’d be calling you my love… And watching your parents laugh about it, as if we were kids in a high school flirt. I would stay all night hugging her body… Feeling her scent and that skin of yours that reminds me of the sea air, while I see you sleeping peacefully on my chest.

By me and by my will, we’ve been together for a long, long time. And this roll of ours that one day dawns together and the next is each one to a corner would have already become an alliance to show the world that our love is an eternal cycle.

But you insist on your insecurity, this fear of being happy that I’ve never seen the same. It even looks like a cornered animal that is so mistreated now it’s afraid to see the world. Let me tell you something: I won’t be able to heal all your wounds at once, but I promise to take care that little by little they never open again.

And the scars of bad loves that you carry in your soul won’t be enough to drive me away. Let go of fear. I’m not going to touch them to hurt again, I’m going to touch just enough to know and know exactly how to heal.

The weights you bring from the many bad experiences I help to carry. And the nightmares you have both day and night will be less scary if you’re holding my hand. I promise that under no circumstances will I let you go.

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See if you let go of the bullshit, I’m here fooling around, wanting to love you! Come here, come closer and I’ll give you a lap and a caress. The love you still haven’t received I make a point of delivering. Just come, turn off the world, erase thoughts, leave fear at home and come. Come, I’ll wait for you with open arms. Ear and ear smile and a huge desire to make you the main person of my days.

So come on… When you realize you’ll look back and understand why so far it hasn’t worked out with anyone (it’s just that you were waiting for me, and I was preparing to be exactly what you need so much).