Say you love me: love in histrionics

“Say you love me, even though I don’t care,” could come from a person with an asocial tendency. “Say you love because I need it,” could be said by a person with a dependent behavior pattern. “Say you love me, and let others see it,” would be typical of a narcissist. However, an avoidant person might want to be told, but avoid showing the desire out of fear.

Love in histrionics is more difficult to define. We could compare it with the phrase: “Say you love me on your networks, in a very special, unusual and striking way.”

Summarizing in small sentences the “essence” of some patterns or personality styles is very daring. However, it is also useful to understand the difficulty of identifying a predominant personality pattern in some people. In fact, many want to be loved in all these ways.

Furthermore, in a time when we all do a little Show From our own love stories before the public, differentiating a pattern of histrionics in love is not an easy task.

What is a personality style

Having a personality style means that The person interprets situations in a specific way, reacts positively to certain contexts and is “allergic” to others. Additionally, you consistently behave in certain ways, especially in relationships.

Thus, a person with a personality disorder basically has similar characteristics to those with the corresponding style, but in a much more pronounced way.

For example, a narcissistic style often makes people successful, while A histrionic style is characterized by great drama and great manipulation. The latter want a lot of attention and need many signals from other people to show them that they are important.

Both styles are particularly common, especially in therapy, and are also compatible with many trends in Western industrial societies.

Say you love me, but no discretion

There must be a lot of histrionics in fictional love for Turkish novels to succeed. However, In reality, histrionics in love is neither so romantic nor passionate.. Rather, it is perceived as unnatural, heavy and even dangerous. Unlike the narcissist, they are not afraid of looking ridiculous to others, they prefer that to going unnoticed.

Histrionic personalities usually enjoy when they are able to monopolize the attention of their surroundings.. Now, what is behind that desire?

For them, not being seen or heard is aversive. There they fall and break countless times. Therefore, it is a personality pattern, since it is very difficult for them to eliminate that way of acting compared to other people under the same contingencies and results.

His personal story is histrionic because since he was little They assume the call for attention is the best way to relate. At this point, the eternal question arises: is personality given by genetics or by environment?

Life in histrionics: a constant drama

People with histrionic personality disorder They have a constant need to seek the approval of others. They use charm, seduction, manipulation and flirting to draw attention to themselves. They tend to get angry or depressed when they are overlooked or not the center of attention.

It is estimated that between 2 and 3% of the population has histrionic personality disorder., and women are 4 times more likely to suffer from this condition than men. However, experts suggest that women may be overdiagnosed with the disorder, while men may be underdiagnosed.

The histrionic personality is rarer in men and is less socially tolerated. Histrionics here translates into boasting, bragging, embellished stories of advantageous adventures that seek to mask his weakness and lack of virility. The Don Juan attitude masks sexual inhibitions.

Histrionics in love

It is common for these people to avoid genuine emotional relationships with others. The histrionic personality constantly needs others to feel valued.

This emotional dependence, accompanied by egocentrism, is associated with an extreme intolerance of frustrations that, in certain cases, will take spectacular forms, the most frequent being intense crying and excessive anger.

Instability characterizes the usual state of mind of this type of personality: outbursts of enthusiasm and discouragement follow one another without rest. There is also emotional hyperactivity.

People with this condition They are egosyntonic, meaning they believe their behavior is normal, so they have a hard time admitting they have a problem. Because of this, it can be a challenge to get them to seek psychiatric treatment, which often focuses on psychotherapy.

This results in loved ones struggling to cope with overly dramatic and emotional behavior. That’s why, Many times it is the partner or other family members who go to psychotherapy to learn to manage daily life.

People dissatisfied in relationships

A study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy found that women with histrionics had significantly lower sexual assertiveness, self-esteem, sexual desire, and marital satisfaction. They also experienced higher levels of sexual preoccupation, sexual boredom, and orgasmic dysfunction. Additionally, they were more likely to have an extramarital relationship than women in the control group without histrionic traits.

Therefore, it is important to recognize and become familiar with the picture of the disorder, if the partner has this type of personality. In fact, they usually worry a lot about your appearance and have rapid mood swings, that may seem “superficial” at first glance.

The importance of therapy

The best way to understand your partner is to educate yourself about their disorder, and even attend couples therapy with them. By doing this, You can both learn more about each other, and also how to overcome obstacles that the relationship may be facing.

Intervention for histrionics usually involves psychotherapy, a form of “talk therapy” that allows the person to discover new parts of themselves and learn more about how they think, act and feel.

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