Being bad is good

Sometimes, we blame ourselves for feeling deep anguish; we don’t realize that, In some situations, most in fact, being wrong is right..

Have you ever wondered what’s behind certain expressions?: “you look ugly when you cry“, “a man does not cry“, “Well, go ahead and now“… These are phrases, apparently innocent, that are as directive as they are harmful, as censorious as they are macabre instruments of torture.

Somehow, They are telling us that there is something wrong with how we feel…that we shouldn’t feel that way. That we should not feel sadness after loss, anger and rage after knowing betrayal. Really, shouldn’t we feel that way?

Why is being wrong right?

We all go through good times and bad times. It is part of our nature, alternation is consistent with the dynamism in the circumstances we go through. In principle, there is nothing harmful in emotional oscillation, contrary to what certain cultures may point out.

Thus, on many occasions we can feel very bad, not only because of a loss or betrayal, but also because of the helplessness generated by not being able to quickly get out of that state of mind. It is then that we direct all our anger towards ourselves, making the wound deeper, the cut more painful.

Thus, being wrong is right when:

We want to express what we feel. Someone wants to communicate what they feel. When something unpleasant happens to us. When something happens to someone close to us. In the moments when we feel unmotivated.

These are just some examples. Actually, The important thing about emotions, when they acquire value, is when we accept them to listen to them.. When we understand them as messengers and not as the causes of bad news.

Being bad, beyond suffering

When we change our perspective and see that being bad is a great window for learning, the intensity of suffering is attenuated. This does not mean that we automatically stop being bad. But yes, we move away from suffering. Let us remember that suffering can be, or has a good part of, optional.

So, We can take advantage of the opportunity to make resilience one of our greatest virtues. That is, overcoming discomfort, finding meaning in our lives, and learning from each experience.

Being bad, how to manage it?

There are various ways to do it. We could begin with a journey to the depths of our being. Self-knowledge is a powerful key that helps us know who we are and where we want to go.

Another way is to identify how we are on an emotional level, and after doing so, start setting goals to be more assertive in choosing our coping strategies. For example, if we know that we become irritable when faced with mistakes, we can start working on it; We will be able to express our anger in a more controlled way, but also prevent it from reaching very high levels.

Also we can ask for help. For example, going to a professional, such as a psychologist or psychiatrist. We may all need support, and these professionals not only help when we are unwell, they also guide us to enhance the best in us.

On the other hand, We can do activities that lift our spirits a little. For example, doing physical exercise, painting, dancing, sharing with those closest to you, etc.

The important thing is that we find meaning in the trajectory we draw in time, This is how we will begin to say goodbye to suffering. For example, Viktor Frankl tells us about this in his book Man’s Search for Meaninga shocking and wonderful account of his life experience.

In sum, Being bad is good when we place ourselves at this point from emotional acceptance. When we leave space so that emotions can catch their breath and communicate their message to us; It could be that someone has hurt us, that what is gone is important. Afterwards, they will have nothing more to say, they will leave us their energy for reflection or action and they will leave.

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