Rationalization, a dangerous defense mechanism

Rationalization is a defense mechanism that many of us have used on more than one occasion without knowing it. It defines those situations in which we make sense of the impossible. These are those times when we justify the unjustifiable to avoid psychological suffering. Giving ourselves a soothing narrative in the face of something we don’t want to acknowledge is quite common.

We could give several examples of this psychological dynamic. It is carried out by the person who perceives how their partner already shows a certain distance and emotional coldness. Given this, he tells himself – he rationalizes – that everything is due to work stress and that when things at work improve the relationship will gain new momentum.

If I have failed in that project, I tell myself that it is because others have not supported me enough; Not because I haven’t tried. If my teenage son has failed all his subjects, it is because the teachers do not know how to fulfill his role, and not because he has some problem that, perhaps, I am not seeing.

Rationalizing is constructing a series of judgments that prevent us from facing a specific reality.. A mental trap that many of us have fallen into at some point.

Rationalization: definition and mechanisms in which we apply it

We could define rationalization as the creation of a series of arguments that seek to be plausible enough to justify something that we really do not want to accept. It is an attempt to convince ourselves that “despite everything, what happened is not so terrible.” Now… what is the consequence of not being able to give visibility to error, failure or discomfort?

The consequence is obvious: making ourselves chronic over and over again in the same mistakes. Marcel Proust said in his work Remembrance of Things Past that although happiness is good for the body and mind, it is pain that drives us to change and improvement. Not wanting to see what hurts leaves us trapped in denial, unconsciousness and constant suffering..

However, the most striking thing about this defense mechanism is that The person is not aware at any time that they are applying that resource. This explains the difficulty in therapy on the part of the professional when it comes to “unmasking” these sophisticated crafts of self-deception.

Denying the obvious: the dangerous virtue of the rationalizer

The rationalizer invests a great psychological expense in creating complex arguments to justify its weaknesses, errors or shortcomings. It is done by the man who cannot find the perfect partner because, according to him, no one fits his values ​​and, however, he is so shy that he does not dare to meet anyone.

It is done by someone who has been trying to get a degree for ten years, giving a thousand excuses after each failure, without admitting that perhaps this university discipline is not made for him. What defines these people is denying the obvious so as not to come into contact with harsh reality and what it implies: taking responsibility for themselves.

On the other hand, studies such as those carried out at the University of British Columbia (Canada) point to a reflection. He status quo and society itself also instill in us the impulse of rationalization. That is, we often take controversial dimensions as valid just because everyone else does too.

This is undoubtedly a nuance to keep in mind.

Behind rationalization is fear and resistance to change

The defense mechanisms were enunciated by the psychoanalytic school. Sigmund Freud He came to define up to 15 mechanisms, among which was rationalization. He himself defined this psychological resource as an attempt by the ego to make an uncomfortable or traumatic situation acceptable to the superego.

An example of this was the story of one of the patients of the famous Viennese doctor who was afraid of the dark. The man argued that being afraid of dark spaces is normal because no one knows what is hidden in those spaces without light. However, behind these efforts to rationalize his fear was an uncomfortable and traumatic reality: childhood sexual abuse.

That is to say, This skillful and effective defense mechanism contains fear and resistance to change.. None of us likes to come face to face with our wounds, our weaknesses or those facts that ultimately distort the image we have of ourselves.

How can I stop being a rationalizer?

Is it possible to stop rationalizing? How can we be more aware of those realities that we should face for our well-being and psychological balance? The truth is that it is not easy to remove those glasses capable of applying vibrant colored filters to facts suspended in the shadows.

In our desire to make light of failures or errors, We create highly florid narratives that serve as a lifeline. But these life preservers are made of cardboard and at the slightest chance, we will sink again. What to do then to avoid resorting to these psychological mechanisms?

A basic resource that can help us in these circumstances is to always ask ourselves “why.” When something doesn’t happen the way we want or expect, let’s do it, let’s ask ourselves why this happened. Before resorting to fabulation and self-deception, let’s give ourselves time to meditate and reflect.

Courage also lies in recognizing ourselves as fallible, in humbly touching our wounds to tend to them. without looking back telling us that “Well, it hasn’t been that terrible, once again, I can handle anything.”

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